mayalaen: (Default)

Okay I've had my first psychiatric visit with my new pdoc since my old one retired and now I can live again. (she already sent in the prescriptions!! it used to take a week to get refills out of my old doc!)

Man I hate how weird I get over shit - that ridiculous thing where something is happening in the future that's kindasorta a big deal and I can't see past it and I can't plan other things and...

Three days ago I bottled 8 gallons of water for my dad (I use an osmosis system + a Berkey filter to clean tap water for us and bottle it for use) and I set the 8 gallons in my hallway and in my head I was like I can't take these into his room yet.

No idea why.

I didn't think it through. And when I feel like that, I let unimportant things go because I know whatever needs to happen that gets me over the hump will happen and then I catch up on all the stupid shit.

As soon as I ended the appointment I was like why the fuck are these water bottles in my hallway?!

Schiz brain is ridiculous, I tell you!

My old pdoc retied in May, and she gave me several refills to give me time to find a new pdoc, but the local psych places are all booked so far out that I didn't have an actual appointment with the new doc until today.

Everything went well and the new doc is more than happy to give me 90-day prescriptions and do televisits once a month, so YAY!!!

mayalaen: (Default)
Before we bought this house and moved in together, my parents were like “we can eat the same thing every night we’re easy to please” and I was like oh cool because I like making large amounts of something and eating it until it’s gone.

They were totally on board and acted like they could outdo me in the eating-the-same-meal game.

They didn’t realize my schizophrenic powers!

Buuut I didn’t realize how badly they were overestimating themselves.

Their limit is THREE MEALS the same.

THREE!!!

Not even in a row! I’m talking 3 dinners the same with other stuff in between!

I’ve had autistic and schiz friends/family members who gladly ate meals over and over again like me, but I assumed regular people could do more than 3 meals, especially when they had other things in between for breakfast or snacks.

If my parents thought they were unusual compared to their friends, then does the average person eat one meal and refuses to repeat it?

It’s food! If it’s something you really like, why wouldn’t you want to eat it again very soon?! And comfort food? How can you not?!

Anyway I discovered my limit when I lived alone, and it was my body giving up before my mind after 9 days of cold noodle/chicken/broccoli casserole with nothing else.

It wasn’t until I puked the second time and was dizzy walking around the house that I figured out my body wanted at least a little variety in food 😂
mayalaen: (Default)
it’s so weird seeing people post about voices and visual “hallucinations” because i’ll get like halfway through a post before i realize they’re characterizing their inner monologue or they’re talking figuratively about the way something appears or moves and you’d think i’d be used to it by now but no

i was embarrassingly old before i realized that when people were talking about their muse they didn’t mean an actual voice they hear giving them writing tips

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mayalaen

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