t-i-r-e-d

My mom called me around 4pm sounding terrible. She’d fallen asleep after I left this morning and was all confused as to why she’d slept for so long. I reminded her, “You’ve been sick, you’ve had diverticulitis flaring up, and you’ve got your ridiculous sister in the house draining you while your husband is pulling the I’m-a-sick-and-helpless-man thing.”

I told her to rest as much as possible, forget about going grocery shopping, and I’d stop on the way home.

I got home and she looked terrible and was jumping up to help me get the groceries in like the dork she is. I told her to sit down, then made the three of us dinner, telling her a couple more times to not get up because she wanted to help.

As I sent the two of them to bed, she starts telling me that she wants to go grocery shopping tomorrow AND go to the farmer’s market to get more honey.

When I said she should stay home and rest because she’s wiped and wouldn’t stop working even when she was sick, she said, “But the bee guy is only there once a week!”

Like my dad couldn’t take her next week.

Just what I need is my mom going into clinical exhaustion again while her sister is on the couch being an asshole and competing with my dad’s assholery.

I’m tired. And I gotta do this for the rest of the week because apparently she’s not gonna stop trying to do stuff. So I gotta work 10-hour days, come home to cook dinner, clean the house, make sure everybody has taken their medications and deal with the whining that usually accompanies that, and get them to bed so I can rest.

Did I mention I’m tired?

kink memes or prompt comms?

I'm looking for kink memes and/or prompt comms or blogs for:

• Hannibal
• Marvel
• Angel/Buffy'verse
• The Blacklist
• Criminal Minds
• Dexter
• NCIS
• The Sentinel
• Star Trek
• Wentworth
• X-Files

I've found some really great ones for SPN, but I've never really been able to find active ones for all the fandoms I've listed above. Even when I find one that's been abandoned, it has such a small amount of content it doesn't really help me.

The SPNKinkMeme is how I got started writing in SPN, and because of my now year-long case of writer's block, I'm hoping kink memes/prompts will get me going again.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated! Feel free to rec your own blog or comm too!

That's Not an Apology

My dad is the type of person who doesn’t apologize. He’ll say “I’m sorry you feel that way” or he’ll just buy me something. He’s always done that.

Growing up it bothered me, but once I had my big psychotic break at 25 years old and my personality completely changed, I stopped expecting him to apologize or care about my wants or needs and I stopped letting him hurt me so much. Sure, stuff still hurts, but I don’t let him in like I used to.

Recently he pulled something that REALLY pissed me off. Something I’ve been trying to work with him on for well over a year and has to do with my mom’s (his own WIFE) health and safety regarding her seizures. It’s a small thing on his part (making sure she gets her seizure rescue meds as quickly as possible), yet he just wouldn’t do it.

After the last time he did it and I knew I had 5 days of helping my mom recover from a seizure because she had seizure activity for 8 straight hours when if he would’ve given her the medication like he was supposed to she would’ve recovered in less than 24 hours, I was done letting it go. So I went off on him pretty hard.

I didn’t need to apologize for any of it. I didn’t even say anything hurtful or attack him in any way. I was just VERY firm with what he was doing to my mom by not giving her seizure meds and told him that if he couldn’t do this ONE thing, it would always be a huge burden on me and the entire rest of my family.

I had to go to the grocery store on the way home after work that day, and they happened to have a sale on a bunch of cookies and sweets that he likes, so I bought a ton.

I think he expected an apology and/or forgiveness when I got home, but there was no way I was apologizing or forgiving him. Instead I took the treats into his room and set them on his desk, much the same way he’s always done for me.

The look on his face as I walked out of the room and for the next few days was priceless. I don’t know if he’d never had that done to him before, but he really didn’t like it.

For a few weeks after, he’s been very cautious around me and has tried to say a few things to try and get an explanation or a change in what I originally said or an apology out of me or forgiveness from me, but I don’t acknowledge it at all and either change the subject or just look him in the eye and say “yup” if he complains about what I said.

I don’t think this will change his behavior, but it’s definitely firmed my resolve and solidified the wall I have up to guard myself from him. My mom also got a huge kick out of it :D

grocery store grumbling

I know it’s not this way in other countries, but in America, we do BIG grocery shopping trips and get our shopping out of the way for the week or more. I’m sure not everybody does it, but the majority don’t go to the grocery store daily.

But for some reason as we get older, this time shortens to the point where people in their 80s go once or twice a day to pick up groceries.

Unfortunately my parents have reached the age where they do this even though my mom’s only 64.

Which means I’m stuck going to the grocery store every day because dad doesn’t want to and mom can’t drive.

It’s like... you had NO CLUE that you’d want carrots earlier in the week? No clue you might run out of the cereal that you eat EVERY DAY. No clue that we were getting low on peanut butter and maybe you could’ve told me to add it to the list?!

I mean if we were super tight on money, I could understand this, but we have enough budgeted for food that I can do a huge shopping trip twice a month. I used to do it all the time. I LOVED IT. I hate shopping, so let’s get it over with and go as infrequently as possible.

My mom just texted and asked me to pick up crushed pineapple, tea, and carrots.

You CAN’T tell me they had no clue they were going to need those things last night when I went to the grocery store.

This will be my third grocery store trip in 4 days.

And they used to talk SO BAD about my grandparents for doing this.