Mayalaen

listening to Inflatable by Bush again and can't help but remember all the times people who were much better than me at interpreting songs lyrics went on and on about the amazing, deep, healthy love in the song

but the lyrics have always struck me as an obsessive, unhealthy infatuation to the point where this dude has killed the girl he was obsessed with and is so happy that now she's guaranteed to be faithful only to him

the whole time it plays all I can picture is a guy dressing her dead body in his basement on a table.

dressing her in a flowing white gown, fixing up her hair, being so gentle with her because he loves her so fucking much

and whenever he's around her he gets to be himself instead of the person he has to present to the rest of the world so they won't completely shun him

and he's still blown away by how much she owns every part of him

-

LYRICS

Let it slide overhead
When I believe in you my soul can rest
But as love that's really love can never fail
But fail it does
When we shine like the sun
You seem the only one my only friend

You're so pretty in white pretty when you're faithful
So pretty in white pretty when you're faithful
When you're faithful

I resigned from myself
Took a break as someone else
It's like we've come undone
But I've only just become inflatable for you

You're so pretty in white pretty when you're faithful
So pretty in white pretty when you're faithful
So pretty in white pretty when you're faithful
When you're faithful

I don't mind most of the time
But you push me so far inside

You're so pretty in white pretty when you're faithful
So pretty in white pretty when you're faithful
So pretty in white pretty when you're faithful
So pretty in white pretty when you're faithful
When you're faithful
When you're faithful

I’ve been so busy for so long I haven’t been able to keep up with new music from the artists I like.

I kept all the emails from Spotify letting me know there was new stuff, just went through it, putting all the new stuff into a playlist to check it out, and there’s 356 songs/over 21 hours of music 🤣

SO EXCITED!!

May 8, 2015
Question 19. What are your all-time favorite songs?

My favorite song ever is Bush’s cover of Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones. And not just the album version, but the live version on Leno. I found it when I was pretty young and it’s been my favorite ever since.

Some of my other favorites include Sober by Tool, Home by Breaking Benjamin, Helden by Apocalyptica, Nothing to Gein by Mudvayne, Big Long Now by Nirvana, Run by Snow Patrol, Brutal Love by Greenday, Dead Souls by NIN, Here and Now by Seether, Given to Fly by Pearl Jam, Hurricane by Augustana, Sleeping Beauty by A Perfect Circle, Unafraid by Andrew Spice, Southern Smile by Cavo, Rio Bravo by cKy, Lightsaber Cocksucking Blues by mclusky, Sorry I by Casey Stratton, When It’s All Burning by Strata, Shallow by Porcupine Tree, Some Day by Shinedown, End of the World by Matt Alber, Prosthetics by Slipknot, Leave (Alt Version) by R.E.M., Since I Lost You by Phil Collins, Walking Away by Lifehouse, Alone I Break by Korn, Hamburg Song by Keane, You and I Both by Jason Mraz, Criminal by Disturbed, Callout by David Cook (Axium).

I could list a TON more, but that would be ridiculous. My favorite things to see live are death metal bands, because the crowd really gets into it. I prefer smaller venues, not the giant stadiums. And I don’t like to sit. Moshing is fun, and my whole family joins in.

If I had to pick my favorite genre, I’d say post grunge. But there isn’t much I don’t like. I’m not a huge fan of classical, country, or hip hop, but even those I’m fine with when we go out and see it live.

I really like music, if you hadn’t noticed :D

Next: 20. What's your opinion on illegal drugs?

Wondering what the hell I’m doing? Click Here

Alternate Links: Tumblr || Mayalaen.com

~Maya

April 8, 2015
8. What song is almost guaranteed to make you cry?

Tool's Sober. It's a song that I identify with not because I've ever had a problem with alcohol, but because of my mental problems and the fact that many times in my life I've been faced with the decision of drugging myself to oblivion (legal drugs that the docs WANT me to take because they don't know what the hell to do with me or others that have this) and living in that drugged state 24/7 OR dealing with life the best I can with milder pills.

In the song, Maynard is just screaming, gut wrenching growling about why can't we just not deal with all this shit right now (and he has hidden meanings for his hidden meanings, so if somebody else interprets this differently, good for them). I make the choice on a daily basis to deal with life, but it hurts, and I wish I could just... not. I wish I could take the easy way.

There are two medications in particular my doctors prescribe. They give me the choice between them, but they strongly suggest the one I normally DON'T choose. And I shit you not it's a choice between red pills and blue pills. No, really! I think there are a few geeks in the pharmaceutical business (or the Wachowski Brothers share my particular mental problem and were given the same choice) because the blue pills are the ones that kinda help gently knock me back into my regular state, but the red pills just knock me the fuck out for days.

I actually took a picture of the two pills the first time I got them and sent it to a geeky friend of mine with the caption "My doctor is apparently Morpheus!" He laughed so hard his stomach hurt. And then he asked which one I was going to choose.

Back to the song. There've been times I've started crying while listening to Tool's Sober, gotten stuck like that, and had to snap myself out of it by doing something else. I love the song, love listening to it so loud that it makes my ears hurt, but man does it get me.

There are plenty of other songs I like, but none that can get me crying as quickly as this one can.

Tomorrow: 9. What fic are you most proud of writing?
Wondering what the hell I’m doing? Click Here

Alternate Links: Tumblr || LJ

~Maya