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evan: i just wanted you to know that i found dents in the aerosol spray can in the bathroom

me: what? like people are… kicking it?

evan: 0_o

me: punching it?

evan: MAYA!

me: WHAT?!

evan: aerosol cans in bathrooms make really good pill crushers

me: OH!!!

evan: you didn’t know that?

me: dude the ONLY “recreational drug” i’ve ever taken is weed and even then i’ve never smoked it – only done the gummies

evan: oh i always forget you have like NO experience with drugs

me: so did they leave razor marks on the counter?

evan: NO THAT’S WHAT THE AEROSOL CAN WAS FOR

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