Mayalaen

charlie (my uncle): those cock rings you guys told me to try really suck

madelyn (my mom): why?

charlie: the medium one seemed too loose because it let my dick get a little softer so i used the small one and now the base of my dick is sore

me: how long ago did that happen?

charlie: three days ago

me: yeah that’s not right you probably bruised your dick with a too-tight cock ring - why did you use the small one?!

charlie: well i’m short but fat so i figured-

madelyn: what does length have to do with diameter?!

charlie: ... i don’t know

me: let it heal for like a week and try again but use the medium one - all you’re trying to do is mildly restrict blood flow not choke your dick until it falls off

charlie: okay but they’re also hard to get off

me: oh well they’ve got ones with little handles on either side

madelyn: NO DON’T USE THOSE!!

charlie: this should be good

me: do tell!

madelyn: sometimes the handles rip off if you’re pulling out to the sides too far

charlie: how hard did you laugh at him?

me: and how mad did dad get when you laughed?

madelyn: he was too distracted by the pain to get mad at me but i was laughing hard enough i almost fell off the bed