Mayalaen

I’m sure you guys have seen how insane my family is, but now I’m gonna talk about Marissa’s (my uncle’s wife) family for a minute.

Unlike both sides of my family, Marissa’s family is all relatively sane and very functional. They’re all really nice and fairly successful in life. Marissa’s parents had two biological children (Diana and Perry) and adopted two children (one of them being Marissa, the other Cynthia). Three of those kids are pretty awesome people, but one of the biological children is... not.

Diana has had drug, alcohol, and other problems her entire life. She’s a disaster who destroys everyone around her and she’s currently destroying her parents, who are letting her live with them while also paying for her apartment and car (because she doesn’t want to lose them), her out-of-pocket insurance, and all her living expenses while she refuses to work, does drugs all day, and harasses everyone she can get a hold of. They’re not rich, and eventually they’re going to lose their house.

Now that’s awful and all, but what I’m wanting to point out is Cynthia’s (Marissa’s other sister - the second adopted child) reaction to all of this. She can’t handle crazy, and she actively keeps the damaging part of it out of her life, which is a good thing because Diana is a piece of work.

For the last few weeks, Diana has gotten to the point where her doctor and my psych doc want her admitted to the hospital (the police have been involved a few times), and Marissa and I are trying to talk Marissa’s dad into doing an involuntary admission because Diana is over the edge.

Diana suddenly got a bug up her ass about Cynthia listing their mother as “family” on FB instead of as “mother” (I said she was over the edge),  and has been texting, calling, and FB messaging her so much that Cynthia had to block her, which made Diana SUPER pissed and now she’s taking it out on everyone.

Back to Cynthia. Cynthia is probably what mentally healthy people should be. She’s there for Diana when Diana is willing to get help and needs to talk or needs help in whatever capacity that may be, but she doesn’t accept the abuse or harassment and is now cutting Diana out of her life until Diana gets help and is willing to treat people decently.

My mom and I were talking about Cynthia, wondering what it’s like to just say no abuse before it overtakes Cynthia’s own life and the life of her son, who has been in the line of fire from Diana several times.

I’m not saying mentally unwell people should just be cut off for no reason. I’m mentally unwell myself and work at treating the people around me decently. I’m saying the abuse that comes from mentally unwell people who don’t give a shit about the people around them -- it would be nice if that wasn’t a thing we’d deal with. Mental illness is an explanation, but it’s not an excuse to hurt people.

I wonder what it’s like to be Cynthia.