mayalaen: (Default)

Decided to start catching up on the doc visits/procedures I haven't had my parents do for the past 3 years now that we're more confident about mom's health and how to go out safe-ish-ly with Covid/other shit.

I scheduled no more than 1 doc/procedure per week and alternated between parents.

All in all it's 3 months solid of once-a-week shit.

I thought once a week wasn't bad and totally do-able.

But holy shit I forgot how frustrating it is to do shit for old people.

The medical industry (bc lbr it's an industry) is such a joke when you're over 60.

Everything is super hard, super long, and super frustrating. I've complained about it here before but it still blows my mind.

My shit gets taken care of fairly quickly (it's still America so don't get too excited) and I get referrals and authorizations within a somewhat reasonable period of time.

Mom and dad? Nope.

Everything is a struggle and nobody communicates with each other so with every specialist, every office, every pharmacy, and every SINGLE insurance issue, it's like starting over.

I'm so fucking tired, and I'm 25 years younger than mom and 35 years younger than dad.

Yesterday I spent 4 hours in the ER with mom after she started having spots in her vision (she had a stomach procedure 2 days previous).

FOUR HOURS and there were only 4 other people besides us there only to find out she had her first ocular migraine.

Like thanks dude both my dad and I get them and if you just would've ruled out super dangerous shit with a CT in the beginning we could've been out in 1 hour.

I swear they hope old people will just go home and die instead of trying to keep themselves healthy. Old farts are too tired to do this shit and their kids are too busy with their own lives and kids of their own.

Why not just let them live out the rest of their lives easily? Let them have meds without jumping through hoops. Authorize procedures their docs ask for without a fight -- bc like who is going around getting this shit done for fun?!

Can't tell ya how many times I've gone in for an endoscopy just for funsies amiright?!

mayalaen: (Default)

I think I may have burned myself out over the last couple weeks.

I knew the changeover to the new system would wear me out but damn I can barely breathe! But I’m so proud!!

Marissa helped with some of the stuff but most of this was me. Charlie and Marissa set up the hardware in the shop after I got it all working together here at the house.

new stuff

  • new point of sale system with completely new hardware and software (five different stations/sale points when before we only had 2
  • new inventory program
  • new purchase order program
  • new credit card processing company with SEVEN readers
  • new website theme/design
  • 3 new manufacturers who let me become distributor for their stuff
  • 2 new manufacturers who are letting me do drop-ship sales
  • 350 new products we carry complete with at least 3 pics each, marketing materials, and descriptions that I had to program myself in our POS/online store
  • 2 new warehouse locations (1 is our tattoo shop suite and I’m only using that suite address so I can program the online store to force shipping when people buy the drop-ship stuff compared to our shop where they can ship OR pick up in-store. The other warehouse is in Maryland and isn’t really mine but a business associate is letting me use his warehouse as a shipping portal as long as he gets a small cut)
  • a new app for Android and iOS that locals can use for more convenient in-store pickup and anybody else can use for regular orders

I decided to do it a couple weeks ago because usually our slow time of the year is July-September, but for some reason the business never slowed down.

Thought for sure the way the economy is that we’d have a REALLY slow time this year but it’s like people don’t give a shit? I dunno. It’s weird.

But the new stuff is all up and running and I’ve just gotta do minor tweaking and get back to ordering more supplies.

I did an order from my biggest manufacturer 3 weeks ago - an order from him usually lasts us 2 months - but we’re so busy that I just sent in a new order yesterday đŸ˜Č

Everybody loves the changes to the system and ordering and all that!

And so for we’re loving it because we’ve never had systems that sync with each other and now EVERYTHING is run by the same main system so everything is synced and so easy for all four of us to access anytime we want on any device we want!

I’m so proud of how well the shop is doing!


 

mayalaen: (Default)

We live in a neighborhood where we commonly get groups of thieves walking through in the middle of the night (with a car following them) and stealing whatever they can grab so it’s important to lock everything up.

My dad is constantly forgetting to close the garage door

So I put a Ring camera in the garage. It lets me know if there’s movement in there, and I can check anytime I want to see if the door is open.

The problem is my overworked, stressed brain forgets shit, so after he’s been out there for a while, I forget to check the cameras.

The garage camera alerted me to motion at 8:45am today but thankfully it was just somebody walking their dog.

That means the door was open for 12 hours 😠

I didn’t have kids because I didn’t wanna put up with shit like this BUT life is cyclical and it’s driving me crazy.

I feel like I’m running around after 3-year-olds.

  • they dress in hideously unmatched and dirty things
  • they piss/shit themselves
  • they’re SUPER picky eaters
  • they’re constantly falling/injuring themselves
  • they fall asleep anywhere in any position
  • they’re super stubborn and moody
  • they’ll tell the same story 8 million times
  • they can’t tell jokes bc they can’t remember how they go but they try anyway
  • EVERYTHING. they. do. takes. forever.
  • they won’t clean anything

I’m just glad my old farts can still bathe themselves. I just gotta remind them to do it.

mayalaen: (Default)

As mentioned in my Previous Post, I’m finally feeling better and can laugh at the epic shit-show my family has been putting on for the last few months.

Last you guys read, I was desperately trying to sell the shop.

I opened the shop with a 5-year plan (make it successful and sell at 5 years) and it’s now going on 12 years, interrupted by the pan/demic -- I was in the middle of selling it in February 2020 but that deal was dropped in the middle of March for some reason 😝

2020 and 2021 were spent making the shop work without me being there - doing everything from home. 2022 was spent putting a ton of time into getting everything in the books all shiny and ready to sell again.

In the meantime, for the last 3 years, Charlie and Marissa have been harassing me every chance they get, saying how the shop is holding them back, why haven’t I sold yet, they have things to do, and being snippy with me, blaming me for the heavy quarantine me, my mom, and my dad have been under even though it was a mutual decision between us 3 because of my mom’s cancer & immune system + my dad’s heart issues.

Charlie and Marissa treated me so bad that at one point my mom wrote a letter to them explaining the situation and that we were just being careful of the pan/demic because otherwise she MIGHT DIE.

And she also mentioned that I was actually still doing A LOT of the shop work, just from home - she said it tactfully and in a way that didn’t sound like “she does way more work than you so shut up.”

They took it well and started treating me A LOT better after that which made me bitter about the whole thing, because I told them all those things but apparently schizophrenic me didn’t say it the exact right way for the normal  people to understand/care about it. (you guys talk in feelings?!)

But at least after the letter they were letting me adjust how they worked and they stopped getting bad reviews for the shop once they started behaving 😡

I’ve been talking with tons of different people in the tattoo industry, working out the sale, and got to the point where I was in serious talks and ready to take the next step.

I’ve been working so hard on all of it for so long that I was beginning to get burnout. Knew it was coming and that I was dangerously close to a psychotic episode, and I knew I had to sell quick and seriously relax.

Mom said we should have a meeting with Charlie and Marissa to make sure we were on the same page so things with the sale went smoothly, and so we all met at our house, mom and I in masks but Charlie and Marissa refusing (aren’t they so loving and wonderful?).

As we’re talking, Charlie kinda chuckles and says that he and Marissa were recently talking and they decided that maybe we shouldn’t sell because the shop pays all our combined bills.

Which they already knew. They’ve known for years.

They’re in real estate and sell about 2 houses a year normally and it pays for their vacations and hobbies, but their bills are paid by me.

They could’ve done more real estate in their spare time (they only work a 30-hour week for me at the shop) but didn’t because the real estate market has drastically changed due to the pan/demic and big real estate businesses that came in and have made it nearly impossible for independent real estate agents to get any work. (A real estate agent friend of my dad’s can’t get any work at all and is now driving an ice cream truck)

So I hid my shock when Charlie and Marissa said they didn’t want to sell the shop, and I let them continue talking.

Turns out they’ve been all pissy about everything because they just didn’t really want to work at the shop but when faced with the possibility that they’d have to support themselves through real estate, they had a record scratch moment.

Throughout the rest of the meeting I didn’t let them know anything was getting to me. We just talked about where we go from here and that because of business/industry changes, they’re going to have to take on more responsibility.

They agreed and even suggested more things they could do I wasn’t even planning on dumping on them.

In the end, I’m still kinda thrown by it, but I’m to the point where I can laugh about it.

The shop does make good money, and it’s still growing year over year, but I REALLY REALLY wanted to go into a completely different field -- one I’ve been dreaming of for years and already have people/businesses ready to pay me lots of money for including benefits. Way more $ than I make after splitting profits at the shop with my family!

But selling the shop would financially devastate the rest of my family and they’d have to get their asses in gear real quick or lose everything.

For now, I’m seeing how this goes.

I’m giving them more and more responsibility, taking more time for myself, and the shop is doing REALLY well. Even Kaylan (family friend who is paid to run social media for us) is stepping up her game and our advertising is awesome!

I’m going to keep shifting more and more onto Charlie and Marissa until I get to the point where I have a comfortable amount of time every day to work, write, game, cook, clean, and enjoy my fucking life.

So far it’s going well, and I’m hopeful that it’ll keep getting better.

I’m already to the point where I’ve started gaming again and I’ve got some stories in my head raging to get written. I also feel as though I could travel if I wanted to, and I’m ready to jump back into social media/fandom.

Now that my head is clearing up, things are SO MUCH EASIER LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA and the creative part of my brain is waking up again after a long time of nothing đŸ„°

The bitterness will hopefully fade, and in the meantime our bills get paid.

mayalaen: (Default)

I haven’t posted about anything my family in a while bc my brain had a bit of a meltdown -- partially bc of microdosing daily for 5 months (on the advice of ppl who said it would treat my schiz) but also bc my family pulled 3 epic shit-shows that threw me.

Now that I’m feeling better myself, I’m seeing the complete ridiculousness of what happened and I can laugh about it.

So feel free to laugh too bc I’ve always believed it’s the reason I’m as sane as I am - if I didn’t laugh at the horrible shit, I’d be curled up in a ball in the corner mumbling and rocking.

🎁  You’re welcome!
Long post. Strap on in 😏

I’m going to start with Andre (Asshole Cousin’s 16-year-old son) and I’m only gonna do 1 story per post or it would be a really long post.

If you’ll remember, last I posted about Andre was that he put a gvn in his mouth saying he was suic1dal and CPS was called, but I’m not doing a cut or warnings because it was all gaslighting and manipulation anyway.

That’s what my family is known for, right?

Andre wasn’t actually suic1dal and only did it to get a rise out of his parents knowing CPS would be called AGAIN on them causing trouble. A game. No bullets in the gvn and no intention at all.

We didn’t know that yet, so a few weeks later when Andre called us and said he was in fear for his life from his dad, had already packed and run away from home, we did some kind of Power Rangers call to action shit and all four of us (me, mom, Charlie, Marissa) ended up doing some seriously illegal shit for this kid, not telling anybody else in the family what we were doing so they wouldn’t be implicated.

We took away and shut down all his electronics so his parents couldn’t track him (they had tracking apps bc they saw his bullshit) and got him to a cabin in the woods with plenty of food, and we wiped our own histories, left electronics at home, used old non-smart vehicles so we couldn’t be tracked.

After five days of the four of us doing all sorts of shit to make sure he could get emancipated, getting burner phones and supplies, etc. and keeping ourselves off the radar bc the police were involved and visiting our houses to check for the kid, I sat down and talked with Andre at the cabin. Just the 2 of us.

Four-hour round trip and at the time we were still in completely quarantine bc of my mom’s cancer + not knowing what I now know about Covid.

Okay, so if you didn’t know, for some reason people just tell me things. Secrets. Things they don’t tell anyone else. Pretty much everything comes out of people around me. Not sure why but I use it for good đŸ«Ą

And that’s why the 4 of us decided I should be the one to have a talk with Andre. Get everything out of him, see where he wanted to go from here, and then we’d do what needed doing.

The kid immediately starts trying to manipulate me.

Didn’t work but I usually let people think it works so they keep talking and I get more info out of them.

Turns out he loves poking, teasing, and mocking his parents. Finding ways to get around punishments and then shoving his cleverness in their faces.

He doesn’t really want to get emancipated, get a job, get his license to drive, change his life, or put any effort into anything whatsoever.

In fact, he couldn’t wait to call his friends, wanted me to buy him a bunch of games & new PC, get him a burner phone with “at least 1 terabyte of data a month” and a new wardrobe, etc.

He told me all about how he left this tableau in his room for his parents to find that “released truth bombs that would shake shit up and I wish I could see them when they find it.” Like seriously dude?

I was confused as hell because this didn’t sound like a kid who was terrified of being killed by his dad, and in fact the more I talked with him, the more he opened up.

He wanted me to regularly drive him down to his parents’ neighborhood so he could go up to their Ring doorbell and taunt them. He wanted to live at Charlie’s house, and for Charlie to drive him to and from school every day even though they’re across town.

He wanted everybody to take care of him and clean up after him. And the cabin was already a wreck.

He played all four of us. And given the fact that his parents are into games too and would love nothing more than to take us all to court and ruin us, this freaked us the fuck out.

He also was pissed we didn’t do more for him. “Why did papa (grandpa) get me this shitty junk food? It’s not healthy. Next time you come up, bring healthy food.” And more shit like that.

Last straw for me was that he actually didn’t even wanna leave home. He enjoyed playing games too much and actually liked spending time with his mom, dad, and sister. “Running away” was just a lil vacation for him and a fun game to play on his parents in between finding ways to fuck up any of their punishments for bad behavior.

I left him there and came back home, so dazed that I don’t even remember the 2-hour drive home. I laid it all out for the other 3 involved.

Marissa (Charlie’s wife) was sobbing hysterically because she’s terrified of shit like this, and for several weeks after that I made myself physically sick about it too. Charlie and my mom don’t give a shit about doing things that could land them in prison, but Marissa and I want no part of that.

It was all worth it when we thought we were saving an at-risk kid, but once we knew it was all a fucking game, it wasn’t worth it at all.

Charlie immediately drove back up there, packed him up, cleaned the cabin, and drove him down to his old neighborhood and told him to turn himself in to the police.

He told Andre that if he ever said anything about what really happened, we wouldn’t be there for him when he turned 18. That should hopefully work.

I grew up with his mother (Asshole Cousin). She’s plays games with everybody, and bc she was younger than me, most people believed her over me (my mom saw through her shit, which was awesome).

AC’s mom actually hated me and tried to keep me away from AC bc she thought I was a bad influence. Like lady seriously? She’s 7 years younger and had WAY more under her belt by the time we were both teenagers. I’m not into illegal shit but AC loves pushing boundaries and doing whatever she can get away with.

Anyway, I didn’t realize that Andre was pretty much a mini-AC. My mom saw it coming, and I saw some of AC’s traits in Andre, but I had no idea it was THAT bad since we’ve been in quarantine for 3 years and I didn’t have contact with him.

He’s been lying to us, the school, the police, and CPS for years, and we’ve been worried about him for years.

All for nothing. No wonder CPS never followed through on any of the complaints -- they saw through his shit.

Stupidest part is Charlie and Marissa still don’t get it. They think he was just a kid acting out, and they only listened to half of what I said about him. But that kid opened up to me and it felt like I was talking to his mom.

I’m not playing that game again. The PTSD I’ve got is thanks to AC and my dad, so no.

It’s a relief to no longer worry about the kid, but damn this shit-show has been insane, and since Charlie doesn’t see through Andre’s shit yet, when he turns 18 Charlie’s gonna offer to have the kid move up here with him, and it’s gonna be AC in his house all over again.

Charlie didn’t see AC’s shit until just a few years ago after A LOT of damage had been done. Always blamed it on AC’s husband, who plays games too, but he’s not the ringleader.

It’s been several months since Andre pulled this shit, and now that my brain is doing better, I’m not freaking out over this anymore.

I can laugh at the insanity and wonder what my life would be like if all these assholes were even half as insane as they are.

I also have to wonder if maybe I wouldn’t have even gotten involved if I hadn’t been microdosing but I guess that’s more to laugh about bc why not.

MNPD

Nov. 24th, 2022 10:07 am
mayalaen: (Default)


I knew what NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) was, but I’d never heard of Malignant Narcissistic Personality Disorder until 4 family members were diagnosed with it and I realized I’d been living in a different world than I thought I was.

MNPDs are so good at manipulation, they even fool psychologists and counselors. Which is why my mom and I thought these four family members were bipolar -- because that’s what they were diagnosed as until a specialist who knew what she was looking for saw through the bullshit.

Since the diagnosis, I’ve seen a lot of people slapping the MNPD label on people they don’t like. People who manipulate others or who seem like a villain from a bad movie.

It would be a huge mistake to fall for that because MNPD isn’t so obvious, especially to people outside MNPD’s circle.

To most people on the outside, someone with MNPD seems extremely charming, outgoing, funny, self-sacrificing, and VERY caring.

This makes it even harder to diagnose and harder for those living with this person. If you complain about anything, you look like the asshole, and the true manipulator comes off looking squeaky clean.

It wasn’t until my mom received calls from two of my dads friends that she realized he’s spent the last 2-1/2 years telling all his friends that we’re abusing him, starving him, keeping him locked in his room, etc. and that it was getting worse. Those two friends were ready to call social services on us.

The reality was that my dad is treated like a king. We don’t engage with him as much as we used to (especially since the diagnosis), but

  • I get him anything he asks for (treats, snacks, tools, clothes, etc.)

  • his room & bedding/clothes are cleaned for him

  • he gets a home-cooked, healthy meal prepared by me delivered to his desk in his bedroom 6 days as week

  • I coordinate all his doctor’s visits and all his medications so he doesn’t have to

  • we even got him a walker when he became unsteady on his feet and appeared to be a fall risk


He still bitterly complains to his friends that Sundays are his “enforced fasting” days. It’s the one day a week I have off, so we all just grab food for ourselves. But if you ask his friends (he has A LOT of friends), it sounds as though my dad is chained to his bed, locked in his room, and denied food and water on Sundays.

Thankfully the two friends who called my mom know he’s manipulative, and when they asked him directly about it, he laughed it off like he was telling them a joke the whole time, so his friends didn’t call social services on us.

This isn’t something new. He plays games like this with everyone. He’s driven all my friends and almost all my mom’s friends away over the years. The only reason some of my mom’s close family are still around is because they refuse to abandon her, but even they don’t realize how twisted my dad is.

Every word out of his mouth is a lie and/or manipulation. He screws his own friends over all the time, but they don’t even realize it because he charms and manipulates.

MNPD is NOT simply a manipulative person. It’s not simply an abusive person. It’s a wide range of chronic behavior and personality traits that are aggressively cruel along with a complete lack of conscience and an extreme form of insular selfishness.

Malignant narcissists are AWARE they cause pain, and they enjoy inflicting it. The truth is what they decide it is at any given time, and you’ll NEVER get an honest answer out of them about anything including their own opinions, wants, and desires.

The main thing I’ve learned is that the only way to “win” when dealing with a malignant narcissist is not to play the game. They’re never going to care, understand, feel bad about anything, or change their behavior.

That also means you can’t hurt their feelings, which is extremely freeing (at least for me).

That doesn’t mean you should purposely try to hurt them because that’s not going to work and instead you’ll be hurt. It means that you don’t have to worry about your interactions with them or overthink things because none of it really matters to them.

If you can’t avoid them, build thick walls around yourself. Keep interaction to a minimum, and if confrontation is unavoidable, try to avoid it in public where they’ll get even more attention and they’ll make you look like the fool.

Don’t bother trying to talk things out with them. This saves A LOT of time as they’re never going to change anyway, and telling them how they can hurt you gives them more power.

If you can, get away from them. If you can’t, protect yourself and find a friend/family member to support you and act as a confidant who won’t be scared off by them, won’t confront them, and will play the unassuming, charmed idiot who believes his every word.

I’m probably going to post more about MNPD, so if you don’t want to see it or you find it triggering, please blacklist it.
mayalaen: (Default)
mean shit below the cut to prove a point to absolutely no one other than myself who already believes it

Read more... )

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