Her Turn - Part 6
Jan. 13th, 2014 10:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mayalaenMaster Post || Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || Epilogue || Notes
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Part 6
They had seen Castiel a few times since he'd gotten his grace back, but he hadn't spent much time at the bunker. So when Sam asks Dean to come meet with he and Cas in the library, Dean's happy to see Cas, smiling at him as he walks in.
Cas is sitting in a chair at the library table, relaxed in a way that he never would've been before he'd spent a good amount of time as a human, but there's still something not quite human about him.
Charlie is sitting in her overstuffed chair, and Dean gives her a little wave as he walks in. She has a funny look on her face, and Dean figures Cas has come with news of a hunt they all need to look into. Charlie is new to hunting, and though she's excited and wants to learn, it's an unknown for her.
Sam takes a seat next to Charlie on a library chair he's pulled over there, so Dean settles in the chair on the other side of Charlie that Dean has made his own over the last few weeks.
He likes sitting by Charlie when they're in the library, so he found himself something more like a chaise lounge that's overstuffed like Charlie's chair, but it's long enough to stretch out on, long enough that he can nap on it if he feels like staying with Charlie when he's too tired to keep his eyes open.
Dean looks at each of them in turn, and they're all looking at him. He feels a little put on the spot and slightly anxious. They don't look mad, they don't look upset, but he can't quite put his finger on the mood in the room.
“What's up?” he asks, making eye contact with each of them in turn.
Sam clears his throat. “Well, I asked Cas about my tail,” he says, flicking his tail in the air above his head. “Cas said he can reverse it and take care of the bookmark that gave it to me in the first place.”
“Cool,” Dean says with a smile. “You're gonna miss it, aren't you,” he says with a bit of a chuckle.
Sam huffs. “Yeah, I am,” he says, then looks down at his hands, and Dean notices Sam's playing with his own jeans.
Okay, Dean knows Sam. Sam's definitely nervous, and he's stalling because he doesn't know what to say. Dean needs to help him out. “Spit it out, dude,” Dean says, glancing at Cas and wondering why Cas is being so quiet.
Sam looks up at him. “Cas said that's not the only thing he can change,” he says vaguely, his hands doing a flapping thing that Dean would normally tease him about.
“Okay,” Dean drawls, his eyebrow raising.
Castiel sits up straighter. “Sam is worried you'll be mad at him for speaking with me about a personal matter.”
Dean is confused, and Sam looks like he's close to having a stroke or something. Cas' mouth opens again, but Sam coughs, distracting Cas enough that Sam can throw him a 'zip it' signal, and Cas closes his mouth, relaxing in his seat again.
“Sammy?” Dean asks, putting enough big-brother emphasis behind the word that he knows it'll make Sam squirm and hopefully tell Dean what's on his mind.
“He knows everything about you,” Sam blurts out, his cheeks getting pink, “so I assumed he knew about the whole male versus female thing,” he says, then winces, most likely at his choice of words.
“Okay,” Dean says.
Of course he knew Cas would know. He doubts Cas even blinked when Sam brought it up. Dean knows Cas has intimate knowledge of everything about him. But Dean's acceptance of what Sam has said and the fact that he's still sitting there calmly seems to help Sam, because Sam's shoulders drop a little.
Sam's mouth hangs open for a moment, then he shakes his head some, like he's telling himself to knock it off and get it out. “Cas says he can change you, if you want,” Sam says. “He can change your body to female,” he adds quickly, then looks to Dean as if Dean's going to pass out or yell at him.
Dean feels a flush of a million emotions running through his body at once. “Uhm,” he says, his head tilting as it sinks in.
He looks at each of them again, and he knows now why they're acting the way they are. They don't want to hurt him, and they know this could all blow up in their faces, but he knows they all care about him. A lot. They're scared, and Dean wants to reassure them it's okay, but he can't find the words.
Cas looks confident, like he knows he can do this for Dean. There's not doubt on his face, and Dean feels a mix of excitement and apprehension fighting for dominance in his body over the fear that wants to flare.
His eyes are burning, his throat feels like someone has wrapped their hands around it and squeezed, and his lips feel numb. He feels like he's flailing, nothing to ground him.
Cas is serious. Dean could have this. What he's always wanted is as close as a 'yes' from Dean's mouth. He doesn't even know how Cas would do it, what it entails, but he knows it wouldn't be anything like a gender-reassignment surgery. Cas was an angel, damn it. And he's got his grace back.
“I, uhm,” Dean says stupidly, then chuckles nervously at himself. He runs his hands over his face, then rubs the back of his neck.
He nearly jumps out his skin when he feels Charlie's hand gently rest on his left knee. He looks at her, probably with a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face.
“Ask him why he remade you as a male,” she whispers, low enough that Sam probably couldn't hear her, but Cas can.
Dean grimaces, shaking his head. “I can't,” he whispers back. There's pain building in his chest. He doesn't want to hear the truth, and he wants to get back to thinking about the possibility of what Cas is offering.
Castiel leans forward, and in a very human way, leans his elbows on his knees. “I was simply reforming your body, Dee,” Cas says.
Dean gasps at that name coming from Castiel's lips. His eyes burn with more fierceness, and he feels them well up with tears. It's a lot to take in, and if Cas is already calling him Dee, that means Cas has accepted it. Cas has been told what's going on with him, and he's not condemning him, and instead he's following Dean's wishes. The name sounding natural from his lips.
Dean wipes at his face, aggressively trying to get the tears to go away. His hands are shaking. Damn it, he's been trained his whole life to keep a steady hand, and his hands are shaking. He shoves them between his knees.
“I didn't feel it was my place to form a new body for you,” Castiel continues, and Dean looks up at him. “Now that I've been around humans instead of simply observing, I'd do things differently. If I would've known what I know now, I would've formed a female body for you.”
Dean's chest is so tight he's scared he won't be able to breathe. Or worse yet, he'll start bawling right here in front of everyone.
“Angels don't see things the way humans do,” Cas says, his voice softening in a way that Dean hadn't expected. “After everything I saw of you, inside and out, I did what I was sent to do and reformed your physical body. Had an older, more experienced angel, archangel, or even God been the one to do it, they would've made you a female body.”
Dean feels the air being punched out of him, and he's embarrassed that it comes out with a noise that sounds like a sob. A few tears are running down his face, his teeth are clenched.
He wants to keep himself under control, but the thought of Cas having only been doing what he thought he should do, that a more knowledgeable angel or even God himself would have just gone ahead and given him a female body, well, it's blowing his mind.
He feels like he's gasping and can't get enough air, but he must not look too horrible because Sam and Charlie are letting him have his space beside Charlie's hand on his knee, and he uses the touch to ground himself, finally able to get a full breath in and out, make the burning in his eyes back off a little.
“There's nothing wrong with you, Dee,” Cas says.
Dean sees a small smile on Cas' face even though his vision is blurred from the watery eyes. He wipes at his eyes again, wishing he could stop the tears, the tightness in his chest. But at the same time, there's a weight lifting that makes him feel like laughing, shouting out his relief.
“God would never force a human to be something they're not,” Cas says. “Humans are his creation, and he gave you all free will because he doesn't want robots, doesn't want perfection. Humans have pushed ideas on each other about what should and shouldn't be, but I fought through Hell for you, and I fell from Heaven for you. I wouldn't have done that if you were some sort of unworthy abomination.”
That does it. He had hated his own body for so long, hated what it had meant that he'd been recreated as a male, and it had been something he'd had weighing on him for so long that when Castiel said those last words, the weight that lifted, the walls he'd carefully constructed that cracked a bit without falling felt like his world was changing.
Dean's lip wobbled, and a few more tears fell. He wiped them away with the back of his right hand, his left hand finding Charlie's and holding on.
He let out a chuckle that sounded more like a sob, then wondered if his face was a complete mess of tears and blotchy cheeks. And he really hoped he didn't have snot all over his face.
“I want to offer you a change,” Cas says. “There's no time limit on it. You can think about it for a while or you can say yes and I'll do it right now.”
Dean feels Charlie squeeze his hand, and he turns to her, giving her a wobbly smile. He sees so much love in her eyes, so much happiness that it lightens his own overwhelming feelings some.
“It's up to you, baby,” Charlie says softly. “No judgment or influence one way or the other from any of us. It's completely your decision, and all of us will respect whatever that decision is.”
He looks around at the rest of them, and he feels so loved, feels accepted in a way that he's never felt before. He really believes none of them would have a problem with whatever he decides, and the fact that Cas said there's no time limit on his decision makes things easier.
It's right there. It's right in front of him. He's dreamed of it since he can remember having daydreams. That whenever anyone would look at him, they'd see a woman. There would be no awkwardness. He could dress how he's always wanted to, he could act like he's always wanted to, and the general public would have no clue he'd ever been a male.
He lets himself picture it, which he hasn't done in years, hasn't done since shortly after Hell. Relief floods through him. The fear is melting away. He knows it would be a huge change, that it would take getting used to, but it's what he's always wanted.
“Sam mentioned that you were leery of medical procedures for sexual reassignment,” Cas says, sitting back in his chair. “I can assure you that I will manipulate your body down to your very last cell, and you will be remade into a female. It'll be slightly uncomfortable, but not painful, by any means, and it won't last more than an hour.
“It won't be a simple re-sculpting of your current appearance, but a re-forming at a cellular level that will make it impossible to ever be able to tell you weren't born female. You'll still be you, still have the same brain, still have everything that makes you 'you' on the inside.”
Dean wipes at his eyes again, his hands still shaky. “I want this,” he whispers. “I want this really fucking badly, but I'm kind of overwhelmed here,” he says with a huff as he looks down at his hand, fingers wrapped around Charlie's smaller hand.
“You don't have to decide right now,” Sam says. “If you want to think about it, Cas has no problem giving you time.”
Dean chuckles. “I am so never going to be able to top you in the gift-giving department,” he says to Sam, a big smile on his face.
Sam barks out a laugh. “You can try, but I'd rather just get a shit-load of little brother points. You know, those ones that let me get out of trouble and let me do and say stupid shit,” Sam says with a grin.
“I suppose I can do that,” Dean says with a nod.
He takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, wipes his eyes again. Something is settling inside him. There's a feeling of rightness that is coming over him. He knows this isn't a fantasy, knows that there are ups and downs, the grass is always greener on the other side, but he's never felt right in his own body. He's never been what society thought he should be unless he put up walls, acted the part.
He's tired of some of those walls. He's tired of feeling as if he's lying to everyone he's ever met. He's tired of fighting something he doesn't think he should've ever had to fight in the first place.
He couldn't even begin to count the number of times he's looked in the mirror and been nearly surprised by who was looking back at him.
When he was a kid, he'd thought everyone did that, but after asking Sam vaguely about it when they were teenagers, and after asking a few women he'd been with over the years, he knows that's not how everyone else is. And now he has the chance to be able to look in the mirror and see the person he was meant to be.
Dean hasn't asked for much in life, hasn't been handed much, but this is truly a gift, and he's determined to grab onto it with both hands and never let go.
He turns to Cas, and Cas sits up straighter, obviously realizing Dean's ready to give his answer. “I want this,” Dean says with confidence.
Castiel smiles at him, a full on smile that shows his teeth and brightens his entire face. “Let's do it,” he says.
Dean chuckles, a flush of anticipating running through him. “Uhm, do I need to do anything?”
Charlie lets out a little squeal of excitement, and he sees her bouncing in her chair out of the corner of his eye. He knows she's trying to contain herself or she'd be on her feet bouncing.
Sam stands up so suddenly that his chair falls over backward. “Towels!” he blurts, his arms out at his sides. “And pillows! And, uh, water,” Sam says, obviously fishing for more items they'll need.
Charlie snorts. “Dee's not birthing a baby.”
Dean chuckles at the panicked look on Sam's face. Sam turns to Cas, his eyes wide and his arms still out at his sides, ready for anything.
“What do we need?” Sam asks desperately.
Cas grins at him. “Nothing,” he says as he kicks off his shoes and walks over to Dean, sitting down on the chaise at Dean's right side. “Unless you'd like privacy, we can do this right here,” Cas says to Dean.
“I don't need to do anything?” Dean asks, looking at Cas like he has all the answers to everything ever.
Cas shakes his head. “It will take a while, but if you're comfortable here and you want Sam and Charlie here, you just need to relax and let me touch you.”
“You gonna feel me up, Cas?” Dean asks with a sly grin.
Cas looks him in the eye. “I'll be using my grace, and I'll be touching every part of you inside and out, which is why I asked if you wanted privacy.”
“Do I have to get naked?” he asks, glancing at Sam.
Cas shakes his head. “No, in fact since your female body will be smaller, the clothes you have on will be loose, but they will cover you.”
“Uhm, okay,” Dean says, then points at Sam. “Sit if you want to. I'll leave it up to you whether you stay or go. I'm okay with you staying, but if you're uncomfortable –,” he starts, then is cut off.
“I wanna stay,” Sam says, his voice louder than normal, and Dean knows Sam's dying to see this.
“Okay,” Dean says. “It'll probably make it easier for you guys to believe it's me if you get to see me change, huh?”
“It does sound interesting,” Sam says, “but I want to be here for you.”
Dean smiles. “Take a seat,” he says, waving toward the fallen chair.
Sam spins, picks up his chair, drags it a few feet closer to the chaise, and sits down, straddling the chair and resting his arms on the back of the chair.
“Because of the changes I'm making,” Cas says, turning to Charlie, “it would be best if you didn't touch Dee,” he says as he gestures toward her hand in Dean's.
“Oh, okay,” Charlie says, dropping his hand like it's on fire.
“Lean your head back and try to relax,” Cas says, then lifts his hands.
“Wait!” Charlie yells, her hands flying out in front of her and waving.
“What?” Dean asks, and he sees Cas has frozen in place.
Charlie clambers over the arms of her chair, getting up awkwardly and gracelessly. She leans over and takes Dean's face in her hands, pulling him to her. His eyes cross as he tries to look at her up close.
She kisses him soft and slow, enjoying the moment. Dean feels himself melt into her, and when she pulls back, she smiles, running her thumb over his spit slick lower lip.
“Next time I kiss you,” she says, looking so excited it's intoxicating, “I'll be kissing the lips you were always meant to have.”
Dean's chest feels as if it'll burst with affection and love for Charlie. He's amazed by her ability to make things seem so right, to freely give of herself, give her love. He loves this woman so much it hurts. She said just the right words to calm him, get him looking toward the future, while letting him know that she'll be here for him whatever his physical form may be.
She gets back onto her chair, turning to the side so she can see Dean, her arms hanging over the arm of the chair.
“Okay, let's do this,” Dean says, nodding at Cas, then resting his head back against the back of the chaise.
Cas raises his arms again, then rests them on Dean's stomach. “At times, my grace will get brighter, but it'll never get bright enough to hurt your eyes,” he says to them.
No one says anything, and the silence is almost hard to take. Dean watches as Cas' hands start to glow, and he feels a warmth spreading out from his stomach. Castiel was right in that he feels somewhat uncomfortable, but it's not painful.
Dean would be willing to handle pain if it meant he'd get this, but it's nice to know that he doesn't have to endure pain.
He gasps as Cas' hands go through his body, passing through everything as if his hands and wrists are a hologram, but Dean feels them inside, down to the core of his stomach and spine.
He's never felt anything like it, even in Hell. There's no pain, and the discomfort is more of an oddness, an intensity instead of a prickling or stabbing. He'd almost describe it as pressure, but it isn't that either.
The warmth has spread to his entire body, and he's completely surprised that he can actually tell what part of his body Castiel is working on not only by that odd almost-pressure intensity, but also because that part of his body glows with the light of Castiel's grace.
Dean's left thigh is the first part to glow. It doesn't visibly change all that much, and Dean figures Cas started there because it would ease Dean into it. There's an uneasy shifting feeling, but nothing nearly as horrible as a displaced or fractured bone.
The bright glow spreads, encompassing both of his legs, and the shifting feeling becomes more intense, but not so much that he needs to ask Cas to stop. His toes feel tingly, and his left foot twitches once, then settles.
A sensation like waves spreading from the inside of his bones out to the top layer of skin overcomes his legs, and the glow becomes brighter, though still not bright enough to hurt their eyes. There's a near euphoric feeling running through Dean, and he wonders if Cas is doing that to keep him from freaking out or if it's a side effect of what's happening to his body.
Dean grits his teeth as he feels the intensity starting up in his abdomen. It's still in his legs, so he hadn't expected it to jump up to his stomach, and it was merely surprise, not discomfort that makes him grit his teeth.
A pulsing sensation begins in his stomach and pelvic area, and Dean almost wishes he could pull his clothes off so he could see what's happening, to see if his dick disappears or shrinks or morphs into something else.
“Stay still,” Cas mumbles.
Dean grins. It would figure Cas is reading his mind while he's doing this. He looks up at Sam and Charlie, their eyes wide and their mouths hanging open just a little. It's adorable, and Dean wants to say something, but Cas told him to stay still, so that probably includes his mouth.
He squirms a little as the feeling of intensity and pulsing spikes up into his chest. It's such a flash of sensation, there one second and gone the next, that it's hard to stay still. He stops looking at Sam and Charlie so he can concentrate on staying still for Cas.
The spike of intensity flashes up again, and Dean realizes it's coming from his pelvis and shooting up to each nipple. He wonders what's actually happening inside his body, wonders if Cas is laying the groundwork for the changes his outer appearance will take, and if the spikes of intensity up to his nipples have to do with his reproductive system.
“Ah!” Dean yelps, more surprised than anything else when a spike goes all the way to the top of his head.
“Don't be alarmed,” Cas says softly, the words penetrating him like they're all around him and inside of him, coming from outside the room and deep inside his body at one and the same time. “Everything's going the way it should.”
Dean forces himself to relax, focuses on a book high on the shelves to his left to keep from panicking, but lets his mind partially pay attention to the changes in his body.
He'd swear his legs feel shorter, but he keeps them still, not even wriggling his toes. The glow dies down, and the warmth in his body from Cas' grace almost feels like it's searching something out, moving from limb to limb, across his chest, down one leg, then the other, and finally settling in his stomach.
He feels an odd sensation in his jaw, but does his best to stay still. It feels like he's been chewing on something gooey all day. It's a soreness that normally he'd ignore, but he knows what it means. He knows his jawline is softening, and he tries to control his breathing, keep his excitement from overwhelming him.
Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined something like this would happen. When he was little and daydreamed about getting sexual reassignment surgery, he knew it would be exactly that; surgery. He knew it would hurt. He knew things would never be completely 'normal' down there. And the more he learned about it, the less it sounded like a good option.
This, though, well, this was amazing. Even before he knew it would be painless, he had no doubt in his mind that Cas would do this right. He knew Dean inside and out. Who better to make Dee than Castiel?
And that's when Dean nearly passes out. It's not anything Cas is doing. Rather the rush of realizing he's finally going to be female hits the rest of the way.
He's still refused to allow himself to think of himself as a woman, even though Sam and Charlie were using feminine pronouns and the name Dee, because he wasn't really a woman. The pronoun and name usage from Sam and Charlie were a consideration, a nicety for him that he greatly appreciated, but inside his own head, the fact that he had a dick was black and white for him, and he could play, could have some of his wishes, but not the female pronoun in his own head. He'd have had to earn that, but he never knew how he could've without this.
The dizziness hits hard as all at once Dean realizes he's becoming Dee. A she. A her. A woman. She feels tears rolling down the sides of her face, but she doesn't dare try and wipe them away, doesn't dare move. She doesn't look at Charlie or Sam in case it would make her more emotional.
Dee works at breathing her way through the emotions. She feels the warm, intense spikes of Castiel's work all throughout her body. This is it. It's what she's always wanted. She has it. And she's sharing the experience with her family, the three who matter most to her in the entire world.
Her ears itch, and she can hear something changing, something shifting. Instead of being alarmed, she welcomes it. Maybe she'll have cute little petite ears now, and maybe Charlie will love sucking on the lobes.
Her nose itches, and she wonders if it'll look like her mom's nose or if the combination of her parents means she'll have a little bit larger nose.
Her eyes itch and tear up more, but she figures the tearing has more to do with her emotions than anything else. They don't itch for long, so her eyes must not change all that much.
Her throat itches, and in pulsing waves, she feels it shifting. She wonders if her voice will be high and annoying or if it'll be deep and sexy. She hopes it's somewhere in the middle, that it's pleasant, but not masculine.
Her shoulders itch, and she has the urge to shrug, but she stays still, waiting for Castiel to soften her shoulders, take away the severe edges of a male body.
When her chest itches, she smiles. She tries not to, but she can't help it. She nearly asks Castiel for big tits, but then she reminds herself that Cas will do this right.
“They'll be beautiful,” Cas mumbles, and Dee thinks possibly Cas is smiling.
The itching is intense over her nipples, spreading out over each breast like a hand cupping her, separate fingers pulsing, then fades away. She wants to look down, but instead she looks at Charlie. Her eyes are wide, her mouth still hanging open, and when she sees Dee looking at her, she closes her mouth a bit.
“Wow,” Charlie says with a leer.
Dee smiles, and when she does, her lips feel different. It thrills her to realize that something even so simple as smiling feels more right than it's ever felt.
The itching intensity moves down to her stomach, subtly passing the sternum. It doesn't stay long in her stomach, moving quickly to her pelvic area.
Dee tenses. She's excited about this, but it's scary at the same time. She suddenly worries it's going to hurt, like someone cutting their dick off. Then she remembers Castiel saying there'd be no pain and she calms herself.
The same shifting sensation radiates throughout her pelvis, her hips, and where her cock and balls might still be. She feels silly for not knowing if they're still there. She figures there won't be something like fireworks going off or fanfare as her dick goes away, but she should know, right?
And then she feels it. It's nothing like she expected. She'd still been waiting for the pain, so to have a cooling sensation contrast the warmth going through her pelvic area startles her and she flinches. It's not icy cold, but more like a cool breeze.
She can't feel anything shrinking, and it doesn't feel like suddenly things are gone, but the only thing that comes to her mind to describe it is a sandcastle deconstructed by gentle waves. It's a shifting away like the sand settling. When it's done, she definitely knows the dick and balls are gone.
Dee wants to squeal with happiness. She never has to look at her dick again. She'll never jerk off again. She never has to deal with untimely erections. She'll never need a tissue or a towel to get rid of the jizz. Any messiness that comes from now on can be cleaned by her own fingers, which will quickly be shoved in her mouth, or hopefully by Charlie.
She wants to touch. She wants to look in the mirror. She wants to try on clothes. Speaking of clothes, she has to go shopping. She needs a whole new wardrobe. Dee can't wait to take Charlie along for that.
Dee feels the warmth throughout her body fade away, the intensity having gone before the warmth, but it went so slowly she hadn't noticed it. Or maybe she was too busy planning her shopping trip, already wondering if some of her favorite panties came in her new size.
She looks down at her stomach to see Castiel pulling his hands out. She looks at him and sees that he looks exhausted, and without thinking, she sits up straight, grabbing him by the arms, not even thinking that maybe she should've stayed still longer.
“Are you okay?” she asks, and she hears Sam gasp.
“I'm fine,” Cas says with a weak smile. “It's tiring, but that's all. Some rest and I'll be back to myself again,” he reassures her.
She chuckles, then throws her arms around his neck, squeezing probably harder than she means to, but she figures her strength isn't that of a man's anymore, so it shouldn't hurt him too much.
“Thank you,” she says into his cheek. “I can't ever thank you enough,” Dee says, finally noticing her voice is different now that she's no longer worried about Castiel.
She pulls back, then looks at her hands, her wrists. They're softer, slimmer. She turns her hands back and forth, then looks at her forearms, which are sparsely covered in short, fine, blonde hair. She reaches up and starts at the top of her head, notices she has longer hair and looks at Cas.
“I gave you longer hair so you could decide how you wanted to style it instead of waiting for it to grow out,” Cas says, sounding tired, and he's now leaning back against the chaise, his eyes half closed, but still looking at her like she's amazing. That look he's given Dee on occasion.
She giggles. “Thanks!” Dee says, flashing Cas a smile.
Dee bypasses her throat to grab her breasts. Her shirt is loose now, but she cups her breasts, feeling the weight of them in her hands. They don't feel huge, don't feel tiny, and it's totally awesome to be feeling breasts from this side of things. She flicks a nipple, gasping at the sensation, then blushes when she sees Sam is watching her.
Sam chuckles. “Because of the occasion, you totally get to cop a feel, and I won't tease you or anything.”
Dee laughs. “Dude, are they awesome tits?” she asks, then lifts her shirt, pushing her chest out.
Sam freezes, his eyes wide and his jaw dropping. Dee hears Charlie laughing hysterically, but Dee is enjoying Sam's cheeks flushing way too much to look at her. Sam's mouth has started moving a little, like he wants to say something, anything, but Dee chuckles as nothing comes out.
“Well?” Dee drawls at Sam, shaking her tits back and forth enough to make them bounce.
Sam looks up to make eye contact with her as if he had to drag his eyes away from her breasts with something physical and it took effort. “Uhm, yeah, I'd say they're awesome tits,” he says, his eyes moving back down to her breasts.
Dee puts her shirt down, still giggling. She glances at Castiel, sees that's he's got his head back, his eyes closed, but his lips are twitching into a smirk. She doesn't know if Cas caught a look at her tits, but she's pretty sure he did, and the smirk is only partly because of Sam's reaction.
Dee reaches under her shirt, tweaking her left nipple, and she hears Sam squeak. “They're so sensitive, Sammy!” she says enthusiastically. “I already had sensitive nipples, but damn, no wonder some chicks don't like their nipples played with and others go nuts with all the squirming and moaning when you flick them!”
Sam snorts, his eyes still working over Dee's body. Dee really wants to get a good look at her new body too, but she needs to tease Sam just a little longer. She's his big sister now, and she can't let him think that the teasing stops.
“Want to see my pussy?” Dee asks, her hands going to the button on her jeans.
Sam blinks, his eyes moving back up to Dee's face. “Huh?” Sam says stupidly. Then it seems to catch up with him. “Uhm, n-no. No! That's okay. Leave it to my imagination,” he says, then realizes what he's said. “I mean, no! That wasn't. I'm sorry. Not my imagination. I'm not going to imagine your pussy, y-your vagina, y-no. My sister. That I've known for years. You raised me. Changed my diapers. And, fuck, I've got an amazingly hot sister, and I'll be beating the guys and girls off of you, but yeah, my sister. Sister,” he says, almost as if he's convincing his dick who it is inside this new body in front of him.
Dee snorts. “Breathe, Sam,” she says.
Sam does, then lets out a laugh that sounds more like a honk, which just makes Charlie's giggles turn into guffaws.
“Sam's face!” Charlie says in between clutching her stomach and bouts of laughter. “His face is awesome! Best. Reaction. Ever!” she says as she points at Sam.
Sam blushes even harder, and his smile gets so big that his dimples are showing. “What can I say. I'm a heterosexual male, and I saw tits,” he says with a shrug.
Cas lets out a huff, and Dee turns to look at him. He already looks a little better, but he looks pale, and his eyes are closed, his arms wrapped around his stomach.
“Can I do anything for you, Cas? Or do you just have to get some rest?” Dee asks, still concerned.
Cas smiles, but his eyes remain closed. “I'm fine. Go enjoy your new body. Just remember to use protection unless you're with Charlie because the both of you are clean,” he says, his speech a little slurred.
“I don't plan on being with anybody but Charlie, at least for a while,” Dee says, smiling at Charlie.
Charlie gives her a sweet smile in return. “It's nice to know we're both clean, even though I already knew I was,” she says.
“I knew I was clean too,” Dee says, then turns to Cas again. “Do you want a blanket?”
“Go. Enjoy. I'll rest,” Cas says, sounding like he's about to fall asleep.
“I want a kiss!” Charlie blurts, getting out of her chair and getting on her knees in front of Dee.
“Mmm, yeah,” Dee says, leaning forward and capturing Charlie's lips in her first kiss with her new body.
It takes her a few moments to reorient herself with not only the differences in her own facial features, but also the changes in her mouth and tongue. They don't seem weak, like they're brand new, but things move a little differently, her nose fits in tighter with Charlie's, and she's glad to feel that her lips are still quite soft and about the same size.
Dee gasps, pulling back and looking at Charlie with wide eyes. “How do you know when your pussy is wet?”
“Oh, fuck!” Sam yelps, stumbling up from the chair. He pushes down on his crotch as he turns, walking out of the library with a wide gait. “The two of you are going to make my dick fall off!” he yells as he gets to the doorway.
Charlie giggles. “I say we totally use this to see how many times we can get him to jerk off in a week, then tease him when he walks around funny because he's got chaffing,” she says, an evil grin on her face.
“God, marry me, you evil woman!” Dee says, leaning back down and giving Charlie a quick kiss.
Charlie laughs, then stands up, grabbing Dee's hand and pulling her up. When Dee is finally on her feet, she feels a little dizzy and holds onto Charlie's hand tighter.
“You okay?” Charlie asks, putting her other hand on Dee's shoulder.
Dee looks down at Charlie, noticing the height difference, but it's not as much as it used to be. She's maybe four or so inches taller than Charlie now instead of seven or eight. She smiles. “I'm still taller than you,” Dee says.
Charlie smirks. “Wait until you see yourself,” she says, leering again.
Dee feels a tingle of arousal run through her, and it feels different than it used to, but she still recognizes it for what it is. She turns to look at Cas, sees that his face has relaxed, and he almost looks as if he's asleep. He said he'd be okay, so Charlie turns to Charlie again.
“I wanna try out my new equipment!” she says, then takes off toward their room.
- - -
Next: Part 7
-
Part 6
They had seen Castiel a few times since he'd gotten his grace back, but he hadn't spent much time at the bunker. So when Sam asks Dean to come meet with he and Cas in the library, Dean's happy to see Cas, smiling at him as he walks in.
Cas is sitting in a chair at the library table, relaxed in a way that he never would've been before he'd spent a good amount of time as a human, but there's still something not quite human about him.
Charlie is sitting in her overstuffed chair, and Dean gives her a little wave as he walks in. She has a funny look on her face, and Dean figures Cas has come with news of a hunt they all need to look into. Charlie is new to hunting, and though she's excited and wants to learn, it's an unknown for her.
Sam takes a seat next to Charlie on a library chair he's pulled over there, so Dean settles in the chair on the other side of Charlie that Dean has made his own over the last few weeks.
He likes sitting by Charlie when they're in the library, so he found himself something more like a chaise lounge that's overstuffed like Charlie's chair, but it's long enough to stretch out on, long enough that he can nap on it if he feels like staying with Charlie when he's too tired to keep his eyes open.
Dean looks at each of them in turn, and they're all looking at him. He feels a little put on the spot and slightly anxious. They don't look mad, they don't look upset, but he can't quite put his finger on the mood in the room.
“What's up?” he asks, making eye contact with each of them in turn.
Sam clears his throat. “Well, I asked Cas about my tail,” he says, flicking his tail in the air above his head. “Cas said he can reverse it and take care of the bookmark that gave it to me in the first place.”
“Cool,” Dean says with a smile. “You're gonna miss it, aren't you,” he says with a bit of a chuckle.
Sam huffs. “Yeah, I am,” he says, then looks down at his hands, and Dean notices Sam's playing with his own jeans.
Okay, Dean knows Sam. Sam's definitely nervous, and he's stalling because he doesn't know what to say. Dean needs to help him out. “Spit it out, dude,” Dean says, glancing at Cas and wondering why Cas is being so quiet.
Sam looks up at him. “Cas said that's not the only thing he can change,” he says vaguely, his hands doing a flapping thing that Dean would normally tease him about.
“Okay,” Dean drawls, his eyebrow raising.
Castiel sits up straighter. “Sam is worried you'll be mad at him for speaking with me about a personal matter.”
Dean is confused, and Sam looks like he's close to having a stroke or something. Cas' mouth opens again, but Sam coughs, distracting Cas enough that Sam can throw him a 'zip it' signal, and Cas closes his mouth, relaxing in his seat again.
“Sammy?” Dean asks, putting enough big-brother emphasis behind the word that he knows it'll make Sam squirm and hopefully tell Dean what's on his mind.
“He knows everything about you,” Sam blurts out, his cheeks getting pink, “so I assumed he knew about the whole male versus female thing,” he says, then winces, most likely at his choice of words.
“Okay,” Dean says.
Of course he knew Cas would know. He doubts Cas even blinked when Sam brought it up. Dean knows Cas has intimate knowledge of everything about him. But Dean's acceptance of what Sam has said and the fact that he's still sitting there calmly seems to help Sam, because Sam's shoulders drop a little.
Sam's mouth hangs open for a moment, then he shakes his head some, like he's telling himself to knock it off and get it out. “Cas says he can change you, if you want,” Sam says. “He can change your body to female,” he adds quickly, then looks to Dean as if Dean's going to pass out or yell at him.
Dean feels a flush of a million emotions running through his body at once. “Uhm,” he says, his head tilting as it sinks in.
He looks at each of them again, and he knows now why they're acting the way they are. They don't want to hurt him, and they know this could all blow up in their faces, but he knows they all care about him. A lot. They're scared, and Dean wants to reassure them it's okay, but he can't find the words.
Cas looks confident, like he knows he can do this for Dean. There's not doubt on his face, and Dean feels a mix of excitement and apprehension fighting for dominance in his body over the fear that wants to flare.
His eyes are burning, his throat feels like someone has wrapped their hands around it and squeezed, and his lips feel numb. He feels like he's flailing, nothing to ground him.
Cas is serious. Dean could have this. What he's always wanted is as close as a 'yes' from Dean's mouth. He doesn't even know how Cas would do it, what it entails, but he knows it wouldn't be anything like a gender-reassignment surgery. Cas was an angel, damn it. And he's got his grace back.
“I, uhm,” Dean says stupidly, then chuckles nervously at himself. He runs his hands over his face, then rubs the back of his neck.
He nearly jumps out his skin when he feels Charlie's hand gently rest on his left knee. He looks at her, probably with a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face.
“Ask him why he remade you as a male,” she whispers, low enough that Sam probably couldn't hear her, but Cas can.
Dean grimaces, shaking his head. “I can't,” he whispers back. There's pain building in his chest. He doesn't want to hear the truth, and he wants to get back to thinking about the possibility of what Cas is offering.
Castiel leans forward, and in a very human way, leans his elbows on his knees. “I was simply reforming your body, Dee,” Cas says.
Dean gasps at that name coming from Castiel's lips. His eyes burn with more fierceness, and he feels them well up with tears. It's a lot to take in, and if Cas is already calling him Dee, that means Cas has accepted it. Cas has been told what's going on with him, and he's not condemning him, and instead he's following Dean's wishes. The name sounding natural from his lips.
Dean wipes at his face, aggressively trying to get the tears to go away. His hands are shaking. Damn it, he's been trained his whole life to keep a steady hand, and his hands are shaking. He shoves them between his knees.
“I didn't feel it was my place to form a new body for you,” Castiel continues, and Dean looks up at him. “Now that I've been around humans instead of simply observing, I'd do things differently. If I would've known what I know now, I would've formed a female body for you.”
Dean's chest is so tight he's scared he won't be able to breathe. Or worse yet, he'll start bawling right here in front of everyone.
“Angels don't see things the way humans do,” Cas says, his voice softening in a way that Dean hadn't expected. “After everything I saw of you, inside and out, I did what I was sent to do and reformed your physical body. Had an older, more experienced angel, archangel, or even God been the one to do it, they would've made you a female body.”
Dean feels the air being punched out of him, and he's embarrassed that it comes out with a noise that sounds like a sob. A few tears are running down his face, his teeth are clenched.
He wants to keep himself under control, but the thought of Cas having only been doing what he thought he should do, that a more knowledgeable angel or even God himself would have just gone ahead and given him a female body, well, it's blowing his mind.
He feels like he's gasping and can't get enough air, but he must not look too horrible because Sam and Charlie are letting him have his space beside Charlie's hand on his knee, and he uses the touch to ground himself, finally able to get a full breath in and out, make the burning in his eyes back off a little.
“There's nothing wrong with you, Dee,” Cas says.
Dean sees a small smile on Cas' face even though his vision is blurred from the watery eyes. He wipes at his eyes again, wishing he could stop the tears, the tightness in his chest. But at the same time, there's a weight lifting that makes him feel like laughing, shouting out his relief.
“God would never force a human to be something they're not,” Cas says. “Humans are his creation, and he gave you all free will because he doesn't want robots, doesn't want perfection. Humans have pushed ideas on each other about what should and shouldn't be, but I fought through Hell for you, and I fell from Heaven for you. I wouldn't have done that if you were some sort of unworthy abomination.”
That does it. He had hated his own body for so long, hated what it had meant that he'd been recreated as a male, and it had been something he'd had weighing on him for so long that when Castiel said those last words, the weight that lifted, the walls he'd carefully constructed that cracked a bit without falling felt like his world was changing.
Dean's lip wobbled, and a few more tears fell. He wiped them away with the back of his right hand, his left hand finding Charlie's and holding on.
He let out a chuckle that sounded more like a sob, then wondered if his face was a complete mess of tears and blotchy cheeks. And he really hoped he didn't have snot all over his face.
“I want to offer you a change,” Cas says. “There's no time limit on it. You can think about it for a while or you can say yes and I'll do it right now.”
Dean feels Charlie squeeze his hand, and he turns to her, giving her a wobbly smile. He sees so much love in her eyes, so much happiness that it lightens his own overwhelming feelings some.
“It's up to you, baby,” Charlie says softly. “No judgment or influence one way or the other from any of us. It's completely your decision, and all of us will respect whatever that decision is.”
He looks around at the rest of them, and he feels so loved, feels accepted in a way that he's never felt before. He really believes none of them would have a problem with whatever he decides, and the fact that Cas said there's no time limit on his decision makes things easier.
It's right there. It's right in front of him. He's dreamed of it since he can remember having daydreams. That whenever anyone would look at him, they'd see a woman. There would be no awkwardness. He could dress how he's always wanted to, he could act like he's always wanted to, and the general public would have no clue he'd ever been a male.
He lets himself picture it, which he hasn't done in years, hasn't done since shortly after Hell. Relief floods through him. The fear is melting away. He knows it would be a huge change, that it would take getting used to, but it's what he's always wanted.
“Sam mentioned that you were leery of medical procedures for sexual reassignment,” Cas says, sitting back in his chair. “I can assure you that I will manipulate your body down to your very last cell, and you will be remade into a female. It'll be slightly uncomfortable, but not painful, by any means, and it won't last more than an hour.
“It won't be a simple re-sculpting of your current appearance, but a re-forming at a cellular level that will make it impossible to ever be able to tell you weren't born female. You'll still be you, still have the same brain, still have everything that makes you 'you' on the inside.”
Dean wipes at his eyes again, his hands still shaky. “I want this,” he whispers. “I want this really fucking badly, but I'm kind of overwhelmed here,” he says with a huff as he looks down at his hand, fingers wrapped around Charlie's smaller hand.
“You don't have to decide right now,” Sam says. “If you want to think about it, Cas has no problem giving you time.”
Dean chuckles. “I am so never going to be able to top you in the gift-giving department,” he says to Sam, a big smile on his face.
Sam barks out a laugh. “You can try, but I'd rather just get a shit-load of little brother points. You know, those ones that let me get out of trouble and let me do and say stupid shit,” Sam says with a grin.
“I suppose I can do that,” Dean says with a nod.
He takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, wipes his eyes again. Something is settling inside him. There's a feeling of rightness that is coming over him. He knows this isn't a fantasy, knows that there are ups and downs, the grass is always greener on the other side, but he's never felt right in his own body. He's never been what society thought he should be unless he put up walls, acted the part.
He's tired of some of those walls. He's tired of feeling as if he's lying to everyone he's ever met. He's tired of fighting something he doesn't think he should've ever had to fight in the first place.
He couldn't even begin to count the number of times he's looked in the mirror and been nearly surprised by who was looking back at him.
When he was a kid, he'd thought everyone did that, but after asking Sam vaguely about it when they were teenagers, and after asking a few women he'd been with over the years, he knows that's not how everyone else is. And now he has the chance to be able to look in the mirror and see the person he was meant to be.
Dean hasn't asked for much in life, hasn't been handed much, but this is truly a gift, and he's determined to grab onto it with both hands and never let go.
He turns to Cas, and Cas sits up straighter, obviously realizing Dean's ready to give his answer. “I want this,” Dean says with confidence.
Castiel smiles at him, a full on smile that shows his teeth and brightens his entire face. “Let's do it,” he says.
Dean chuckles, a flush of anticipating running through him. “Uhm, do I need to do anything?”
Charlie lets out a little squeal of excitement, and he sees her bouncing in her chair out of the corner of his eye. He knows she's trying to contain herself or she'd be on her feet bouncing.
Sam stands up so suddenly that his chair falls over backward. “Towels!” he blurts, his arms out at his sides. “And pillows! And, uh, water,” Sam says, obviously fishing for more items they'll need.
Charlie snorts. “Dee's not birthing a baby.”
Dean chuckles at the panicked look on Sam's face. Sam turns to Cas, his eyes wide and his arms still out at his sides, ready for anything.
“What do we need?” Sam asks desperately.
Cas grins at him. “Nothing,” he says as he kicks off his shoes and walks over to Dean, sitting down on the chaise at Dean's right side. “Unless you'd like privacy, we can do this right here,” Cas says to Dean.
“I don't need to do anything?” Dean asks, looking at Cas like he has all the answers to everything ever.
Cas shakes his head. “It will take a while, but if you're comfortable here and you want Sam and Charlie here, you just need to relax and let me touch you.”
“You gonna feel me up, Cas?” Dean asks with a sly grin.
Cas looks him in the eye. “I'll be using my grace, and I'll be touching every part of you inside and out, which is why I asked if you wanted privacy.”
“Do I have to get naked?” he asks, glancing at Sam.
Cas shakes his head. “No, in fact since your female body will be smaller, the clothes you have on will be loose, but they will cover you.”
“Uhm, okay,” Dean says, then points at Sam. “Sit if you want to. I'll leave it up to you whether you stay or go. I'm okay with you staying, but if you're uncomfortable –,” he starts, then is cut off.
“I wanna stay,” Sam says, his voice louder than normal, and Dean knows Sam's dying to see this.
“Okay,” Dean says. “It'll probably make it easier for you guys to believe it's me if you get to see me change, huh?”
“It does sound interesting,” Sam says, “but I want to be here for you.”
Dean smiles. “Take a seat,” he says, waving toward the fallen chair.
Sam spins, picks up his chair, drags it a few feet closer to the chaise, and sits down, straddling the chair and resting his arms on the back of the chair.
“Because of the changes I'm making,” Cas says, turning to Charlie, “it would be best if you didn't touch Dee,” he says as he gestures toward her hand in Dean's.
“Oh, okay,” Charlie says, dropping his hand like it's on fire.
“Lean your head back and try to relax,” Cas says, then lifts his hands.
“Wait!” Charlie yells, her hands flying out in front of her and waving.
“What?” Dean asks, and he sees Cas has frozen in place.
Charlie clambers over the arms of her chair, getting up awkwardly and gracelessly. She leans over and takes Dean's face in her hands, pulling him to her. His eyes cross as he tries to look at her up close.
She kisses him soft and slow, enjoying the moment. Dean feels himself melt into her, and when she pulls back, she smiles, running her thumb over his spit slick lower lip.
“Next time I kiss you,” she says, looking so excited it's intoxicating, “I'll be kissing the lips you were always meant to have.”
Dean's chest feels as if it'll burst with affection and love for Charlie. He's amazed by her ability to make things seem so right, to freely give of herself, give her love. He loves this woman so much it hurts. She said just the right words to calm him, get him looking toward the future, while letting him know that she'll be here for him whatever his physical form may be.
She gets back onto her chair, turning to the side so she can see Dean, her arms hanging over the arm of the chair.
“Okay, let's do this,” Dean says, nodding at Cas, then resting his head back against the back of the chaise.
Cas raises his arms again, then rests them on Dean's stomach. “At times, my grace will get brighter, but it'll never get bright enough to hurt your eyes,” he says to them.
No one says anything, and the silence is almost hard to take. Dean watches as Cas' hands start to glow, and he feels a warmth spreading out from his stomach. Castiel was right in that he feels somewhat uncomfortable, but it's not painful.
Dean would be willing to handle pain if it meant he'd get this, but it's nice to know that he doesn't have to endure pain.
He gasps as Cas' hands go through his body, passing through everything as if his hands and wrists are a hologram, but Dean feels them inside, down to the core of his stomach and spine.
He's never felt anything like it, even in Hell. There's no pain, and the discomfort is more of an oddness, an intensity instead of a prickling or stabbing. He'd almost describe it as pressure, but it isn't that either.
The warmth has spread to his entire body, and he's completely surprised that he can actually tell what part of his body Castiel is working on not only by that odd almost-pressure intensity, but also because that part of his body glows with the light of Castiel's grace.
Dean's left thigh is the first part to glow. It doesn't visibly change all that much, and Dean figures Cas started there because it would ease Dean into it. There's an uneasy shifting feeling, but nothing nearly as horrible as a displaced or fractured bone.
The bright glow spreads, encompassing both of his legs, and the shifting feeling becomes more intense, but not so much that he needs to ask Cas to stop. His toes feel tingly, and his left foot twitches once, then settles.
A sensation like waves spreading from the inside of his bones out to the top layer of skin overcomes his legs, and the glow becomes brighter, though still not bright enough to hurt their eyes. There's a near euphoric feeling running through Dean, and he wonders if Cas is doing that to keep him from freaking out or if it's a side effect of what's happening to his body.
Dean grits his teeth as he feels the intensity starting up in his abdomen. It's still in his legs, so he hadn't expected it to jump up to his stomach, and it was merely surprise, not discomfort that makes him grit his teeth.
A pulsing sensation begins in his stomach and pelvic area, and Dean almost wishes he could pull his clothes off so he could see what's happening, to see if his dick disappears or shrinks or morphs into something else.
“Stay still,” Cas mumbles.
Dean grins. It would figure Cas is reading his mind while he's doing this. He looks up at Sam and Charlie, their eyes wide and their mouths hanging open just a little. It's adorable, and Dean wants to say something, but Cas told him to stay still, so that probably includes his mouth.
He squirms a little as the feeling of intensity and pulsing spikes up into his chest. It's such a flash of sensation, there one second and gone the next, that it's hard to stay still. He stops looking at Sam and Charlie so he can concentrate on staying still for Cas.
The spike of intensity flashes up again, and Dean realizes it's coming from his pelvis and shooting up to each nipple. He wonders what's actually happening inside his body, wonders if Cas is laying the groundwork for the changes his outer appearance will take, and if the spikes of intensity up to his nipples have to do with his reproductive system.
“Ah!” Dean yelps, more surprised than anything else when a spike goes all the way to the top of his head.
“Don't be alarmed,” Cas says softly, the words penetrating him like they're all around him and inside of him, coming from outside the room and deep inside his body at one and the same time. “Everything's going the way it should.”
Dean forces himself to relax, focuses on a book high on the shelves to his left to keep from panicking, but lets his mind partially pay attention to the changes in his body.
He'd swear his legs feel shorter, but he keeps them still, not even wriggling his toes. The glow dies down, and the warmth in his body from Cas' grace almost feels like it's searching something out, moving from limb to limb, across his chest, down one leg, then the other, and finally settling in his stomach.
He feels an odd sensation in his jaw, but does his best to stay still. It feels like he's been chewing on something gooey all day. It's a soreness that normally he'd ignore, but he knows what it means. He knows his jawline is softening, and he tries to control his breathing, keep his excitement from overwhelming him.
Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined something like this would happen. When he was little and daydreamed about getting sexual reassignment surgery, he knew it would be exactly that; surgery. He knew it would hurt. He knew things would never be completely 'normal' down there. And the more he learned about it, the less it sounded like a good option.
This, though, well, this was amazing. Even before he knew it would be painless, he had no doubt in his mind that Cas would do this right. He knew Dean inside and out. Who better to make Dee than Castiel?
And that's when Dean nearly passes out. It's not anything Cas is doing. Rather the rush of realizing he's finally going to be female hits the rest of the way.
He's still refused to allow himself to think of himself as a woman, even though Sam and Charlie were using feminine pronouns and the name Dee, because he wasn't really a woman. The pronoun and name usage from Sam and Charlie were a consideration, a nicety for him that he greatly appreciated, but inside his own head, the fact that he had a dick was black and white for him, and he could play, could have some of his wishes, but not the female pronoun in his own head. He'd have had to earn that, but he never knew how he could've without this.
The dizziness hits hard as all at once Dean realizes he's becoming Dee. A she. A her. A woman. She feels tears rolling down the sides of her face, but she doesn't dare try and wipe them away, doesn't dare move. She doesn't look at Charlie or Sam in case it would make her more emotional.
Dee works at breathing her way through the emotions. She feels the warm, intense spikes of Castiel's work all throughout her body. This is it. It's what she's always wanted. She has it. And she's sharing the experience with her family, the three who matter most to her in the entire world.
Her ears itch, and she can hear something changing, something shifting. Instead of being alarmed, she welcomes it. Maybe she'll have cute little petite ears now, and maybe Charlie will love sucking on the lobes.
Her nose itches, and she wonders if it'll look like her mom's nose or if the combination of her parents means she'll have a little bit larger nose.
Her eyes itch and tear up more, but she figures the tearing has more to do with her emotions than anything else. They don't itch for long, so her eyes must not change all that much.
Her throat itches, and in pulsing waves, she feels it shifting. She wonders if her voice will be high and annoying or if it'll be deep and sexy. She hopes it's somewhere in the middle, that it's pleasant, but not masculine.
Her shoulders itch, and she has the urge to shrug, but she stays still, waiting for Castiel to soften her shoulders, take away the severe edges of a male body.
When her chest itches, she smiles. She tries not to, but she can't help it. She nearly asks Castiel for big tits, but then she reminds herself that Cas will do this right.
“They'll be beautiful,” Cas mumbles, and Dee thinks possibly Cas is smiling.
The itching is intense over her nipples, spreading out over each breast like a hand cupping her, separate fingers pulsing, then fades away. She wants to look down, but instead she looks at Charlie. Her eyes are wide, her mouth still hanging open, and when she sees Dee looking at her, she closes her mouth a bit.
“Wow,” Charlie says with a leer.
Dee smiles, and when she does, her lips feel different. It thrills her to realize that something even so simple as smiling feels more right than it's ever felt.
The itching intensity moves down to her stomach, subtly passing the sternum. It doesn't stay long in her stomach, moving quickly to her pelvic area.
Dee tenses. She's excited about this, but it's scary at the same time. She suddenly worries it's going to hurt, like someone cutting their dick off. Then she remembers Castiel saying there'd be no pain and she calms herself.
The same shifting sensation radiates throughout her pelvis, her hips, and where her cock and balls might still be. She feels silly for not knowing if they're still there. She figures there won't be something like fireworks going off or fanfare as her dick goes away, but she should know, right?
And then she feels it. It's nothing like she expected. She'd still been waiting for the pain, so to have a cooling sensation contrast the warmth going through her pelvic area startles her and she flinches. It's not icy cold, but more like a cool breeze.
She can't feel anything shrinking, and it doesn't feel like suddenly things are gone, but the only thing that comes to her mind to describe it is a sandcastle deconstructed by gentle waves. It's a shifting away like the sand settling. When it's done, she definitely knows the dick and balls are gone.
Dee wants to squeal with happiness. She never has to look at her dick again. She'll never jerk off again. She never has to deal with untimely erections. She'll never need a tissue or a towel to get rid of the jizz. Any messiness that comes from now on can be cleaned by her own fingers, which will quickly be shoved in her mouth, or hopefully by Charlie.
She wants to touch. She wants to look in the mirror. She wants to try on clothes. Speaking of clothes, she has to go shopping. She needs a whole new wardrobe. Dee can't wait to take Charlie along for that.
Dee feels the warmth throughout her body fade away, the intensity having gone before the warmth, but it went so slowly she hadn't noticed it. Or maybe she was too busy planning her shopping trip, already wondering if some of her favorite panties came in her new size.
She looks down at her stomach to see Castiel pulling his hands out. She looks at him and sees that he looks exhausted, and without thinking, she sits up straight, grabbing him by the arms, not even thinking that maybe she should've stayed still longer.
“Are you okay?” she asks, and she hears Sam gasp.
“I'm fine,” Cas says with a weak smile. “It's tiring, but that's all. Some rest and I'll be back to myself again,” he reassures her.
She chuckles, then throws her arms around his neck, squeezing probably harder than she means to, but she figures her strength isn't that of a man's anymore, so it shouldn't hurt him too much.
“Thank you,” she says into his cheek. “I can't ever thank you enough,” Dee says, finally noticing her voice is different now that she's no longer worried about Castiel.
She pulls back, then looks at her hands, her wrists. They're softer, slimmer. She turns her hands back and forth, then looks at her forearms, which are sparsely covered in short, fine, blonde hair. She reaches up and starts at the top of her head, notices she has longer hair and looks at Cas.
“I gave you longer hair so you could decide how you wanted to style it instead of waiting for it to grow out,” Cas says, sounding tired, and he's now leaning back against the chaise, his eyes half closed, but still looking at her like she's amazing. That look he's given Dee on occasion.
She giggles. “Thanks!” Dee says, flashing Cas a smile.
Dee bypasses her throat to grab her breasts. Her shirt is loose now, but she cups her breasts, feeling the weight of them in her hands. They don't feel huge, don't feel tiny, and it's totally awesome to be feeling breasts from this side of things. She flicks a nipple, gasping at the sensation, then blushes when she sees Sam is watching her.
Sam chuckles. “Because of the occasion, you totally get to cop a feel, and I won't tease you or anything.”
Dee laughs. “Dude, are they awesome tits?” she asks, then lifts her shirt, pushing her chest out.
Sam freezes, his eyes wide and his jaw dropping. Dee hears Charlie laughing hysterically, but Dee is enjoying Sam's cheeks flushing way too much to look at her. Sam's mouth has started moving a little, like he wants to say something, anything, but Dee chuckles as nothing comes out.
“Well?” Dee drawls at Sam, shaking her tits back and forth enough to make them bounce.
Sam looks up to make eye contact with her as if he had to drag his eyes away from her breasts with something physical and it took effort. “Uhm, yeah, I'd say they're awesome tits,” he says, his eyes moving back down to her breasts.
Dee puts her shirt down, still giggling. She glances at Castiel, sees that's he's got his head back, his eyes closed, but his lips are twitching into a smirk. She doesn't know if Cas caught a look at her tits, but she's pretty sure he did, and the smirk is only partly because of Sam's reaction.
Dee reaches under her shirt, tweaking her left nipple, and she hears Sam squeak. “They're so sensitive, Sammy!” she says enthusiastically. “I already had sensitive nipples, but damn, no wonder some chicks don't like their nipples played with and others go nuts with all the squirming and moaning when you flick them!”
Sam snorts, his eyes still working over Dee's body. Dee really wants to get a good look at her new body too, but she needs to tease Sam just a little longer. She's his big sister now, and she can't let him think that the teasing stops.
“Want to see my pussy?” Dee asks, her hands going to the button on her jeans.
Sam blinks, his eyes moving back up to Dee's face. “Huh?” Sam says stupidly. Then it seems to catch up with him. “Uhm, n-no. No! That's okay. Leave it to my imagination,” he says, then realizes what he's said. “I mean, no! That wasn't. I'm sorry. Not my imagination. I'm not going to imagine your pussy, y-your vagina, y-no. My sister. That I've known for years. You raised me. Changed my diapers. And, fuck, I've got an amazingly hot sister, and I'll be beating the guys and girls off of you, but yeah, my sister. Sister,” he says, almost as if he's convincing his dick who it is inside this new body in front of him.
Dee snorts. “Breathe, Sam,” she says.
Sam does, then lets out a laugh that sounds more like a honk, which just makes Charlie's giggles turn into guffaws.
“Sam's face!” Charlie says in between clutching her stomach and bouts of laughter. “His face is awesome! Best. Reaction. Ever!” she says as she points at Sam.
Sam blushes even harder, and his smile gets so big that his dimples are showing. “What can I say. I'm a heterosexual male, and I saw tits,” he says with a shrug.
Cas lets out a huff, and Dee turns to look at him. He already looks a little better, but he looks pale, and his eyes are closed, his arms wrapped around his stomach.
“Can I do anything for you, Cas? Or do you just have to get some rest?” Dee asks, still concerned.
Cas smiles, but his eyes remain closed. “I'm fine. Go enjoy your new body. Just remember to use protection unless you're with Charlie because the both of you are clean,” he says, his speech a little slurred.
“I don't plan on being with anybody but Charlie, at least for a while,” Dee says, smiling at Charlie.
Charlie gives her a sweet smile in return. “It's nice to know we're both clean, even though I already knew I was,” she says.
“I knew I was clean too,” Dee says, then turns to Cas again. “Do you want a blanket?”
“Go. Enjoy. I'll rest,” Cas says, sounding like he's about to fall asleep.
“I want a kiss!” Charlie blurts, getting out of her chair and getting on her knees in front of Dee.
“Mmm, yeah,” Dee says, leaning forward and capturing Charlie's lips in her first kiss with her new body.
It takes her a few moments to reorient herself with not only the differences in her own facial features, but also the changes in her mouth and tongue. They don't seem weak, like they're brand new, but things move a little differently, her nose fits in tighter with Charlie's, and she's glad to feel that her lips are still quite soft and about the same size.
Dee gasps, pulling back and looking at Charlie with wide eyes. “How do you know when your pussy is wet?”
“Oh, fuck!” Sam yelps, stumbling up from the chair. He pushes down on his crotch as he turns, walking out of the library with a wide gait. “The two of you are going to make my dick fall off!” he yells as he gets to the doorway.
Charlie giggles. “I say we totally use this to see how many times we can get him to jerk off in a week, then tease him when he walks around funny because he's got chaffing,” she says, an evil grin on her face.
“God, marry me, you evil woman!” Dee says, leaning back down and giving Charlie a quick kiss.
Charlie laughs, then stands up, grabbing Dee's hand and pulling her up. When Dee is finally on her feet, she feels a little dizzy and holds onto Charlie's hand tighter.
“You okay?” Charlie asks, putting her other hand on Dee's shoulder.
Dee looks down at Charlie, noticing the height difference, but it's not as much as it used to be. She's maybe four or so inches taller than Charlie now instead of seven or eight. She smiles. “I'm still taller than you,” Dee says.
Charlie smirks. “Wait until you see yourself,” she says, leering again.
Dee feels a tingle of arousal run through her, and it feels different than it used to, but she still recognizes it for what it is. She turns to look at Cas, sees that his face has relaxed, and he almost looks as if he's asleep. He said he'd be okay, so Charlie turns to Charlie again.
“I wanna try out my new equipment!” she says, then takes off toward their room.
- - -
Next: Part 7
