feeling unreal - i'm venting

[mayalaen]

The older I get the more fucked up and twisted I realize "normal" people are.

Been dealing with my mom's eye thing for the last two weeks, and there's a good chance she's not gonna regain vision in that eye even once she has months of injections in the eye.

I've been taking her to docs and spending no less than 3 hours per visit because everybody is overbooked and that's in between doing shop stuff from about 3-5am in the morning until 5pm when I make dinner for these stupid fucks.

We're being super careful about masking and distancing and all that because mom's immune system is shot right now with the recent shit she's been through.

We've been leaving Roo with my dad and he watches her so she doesn't have to go in her cage. He's been doing great with that for several weeks.

Yesterday I took mom to a cardiologist to see if the eye thing might have been caused by something with her heart. We're sitting in the doc's office and our Ring cameras start going off.

I check and my dad has invited over several of his anti/va/xxer & anti/mask/er friends (my dad isn't either of those things but he has some friends like that)

he's maskless with them, and I have no idea where Roo is - he's got the garage doors and gate wide open (this man is NOT observant so he wouldn't notice her running away AT ALL).

He also missed the delivery truck coming to the front door with a $9000 shipment of products for the shop, so I have to send Charlie in to pick it up at the warehouse tomorrow. Hopefully it's still there and wasn't sent back to the manufacturer because the freight charges are $900 and nonrefundable.

So I'm freaking out the whole time we're in the doc's office and trying to listen to the doc at the same time to make sure the same thing that happened to one eye isn't gonna happen to her OTHER eye and what we can do about it.

We get back home and I'm shaky and freaked out and mom just goes to bed. Dad just goes on his merry way. Roo was fine BTW.

I still had to cook dinner, clean up the house, walk the dog, and do some late night laundry.

Mom was depressed and mopey all day today, and when I took Roo on a walk this evening, she and dad had a talk.

They do this weird game and dance with each other and I just stay out of those talks because I can't take it.

Anyway. Turns out he did it on purpose.

He's been feeling sorry for himself over a situation HE created for himself (namely that he wouldn't stop harassing me when I would take him dinner at night so I started leaving the plate just outside his room and WOE IS HE that his special dinners I make only for him because he doesn't like what we eat are two steps outside his room and so he has to get off his ass to get his dinner when he does absolutely NOTHING else around here)

so he decided to orchestrate this little thing that he knew we would see while we were at the doc's office.

I mean who does that? Who fucks with people like that?!

And after he did it my mom was all freaked out and depressed, but after they talked and played more of their games with each other, she feels really good, isn't depressed anymore, he's all up and happy, and

I'm just like... are people real?

Are humans fucking real?

I'M the schizophrenic.
I'M the psychopath with a dash of sociopath thrown in for good measure.
I'M the medicated one
And somehow I'm the least fucked up here because even if I thought of doing this to someone (because my brain never stops) I still would NEVER actually do it!

What the fuck is wrong with people?!

Now I can't sleep but both my parents are out like a light and content.

I swear when people ask me if anons/strangers on the net upset me with their hate and all the shit they pull it's like FUCK NO are you kidding they're nothing compared to my family.

And this thing that happened yesterday and today doesn't even rate a 5/10 on my family's fucked up shit scale.

But thanks to me being stressed, overworked, and not being able to sleep much in the last few weeks, this just pushed me over into feeling unreal, so thanks pops. I can feel the love.