mayalaen: (Default)
2023-10-22 11:23 am

(no subject)

 

My mom came out of her room this morning with a small Beanie Baby in her hand.

"I've had this sitting in my drawer since somebody - I don't even remember who - gave it to me. I think it was new at the time, but I like lizards and they thought it was a lizard, but it's not šŸ™„ so I just put it in a drawer and kept moving it whenever we moved. Now I realize it's a chameleon and you're The Chameleon (thanks mental illness) so here this has always made me think of you!"

I looked at the card, which said it was an iguana, but it clearly wasn't an iguana. The only iguana-like part is the weird spiky thing on the back.

Confused, I looked it up (I was never into Beanie Babies but my cousin was).

It's a misprint from the 90s, and one of them recently sold for $6500 because it had some of the errors this one has, but this one has ALL the errors and apparently is worth even more?

So my mom has been carefully moving this from one spot to another for over twenty years and it's this super rare misprint Beanie Baby that some idiot gave her without paying attention to what it was or what she liked šŸ˜‚

mayalaen: (Default)
2023-10-02 07:31 am

Silent Generation and Boomers:



Guys. I think my mom figured out what happened to the Silent Generation and Boomers and older GenX.

Microwaves became popular in the 1970s, and she told me that EVERYONE in her generation (she's 69) and my dad's generation (he's 79) got so excited over it that they stood with their noses pressed to the glass to watch the food cook FOR YEARS.

She said it wasn't until some of the younger GenX (and definitely Millennials) started coming home from school in the 80s-90s with the advice "don't get close to the microwave while it's on because it'll damage your brain and reproductive system!" that they stopped.

She still forgets sometimes and I gotta remind her that a 5 foot distance is best.

"Yeah, we all cooked our brains. Not that we have nothing to contribute to society, but you really should take the big decision-making abilities away from us. Someone who pressed their nose up against the glass for years shouldn't be making decisions and laws about reproductive health, welfare, minimum wage, etc."
mayalaen: (Default)
2023-09-24 05:52 am

$15,000 for less than nothing

I looked at the insurance bills for my mom's ER visit a few weeks ago.

Y'know the ER visit where she went in because of vision loss in her left eye, and the doc wrote in the report she came in for a migraine, and "after treatment the patient said she was improved so we discharged her" but actually a mild pain in her head was the least of her worries and she STILL clearly said she was partially blind in her left eye but he said it was nothing and to "follow-up with your ophthalmologist WHEN YOU CAN" and not urgently?!

Yeah that time.

They billed the insurance company $15,000 for that visit.


$15,000 to lie to us, create a false report to look like they did their job instead of missing a branch retinal vein occlusion (when there's a blockage or shrinking of a vein IN YOUR EYE that causes partial blindness and if treated promptly can be completely reversed about 60%-70% of the time and 20%-30% of the time can be greatly improved and the other 5-10% won't ever improve)

The doctor is a locum tenens doc which means he isn't technically an employee and as if it wasn't hard enough to sue or complain about doctors in hospitals, it's fucking impossible with locum tenens.

So this asshole gets to work wherever he wants (and when I looked him up he's been EVERYWHERE like seriously how many people have you fucked up when you've worked in more states than you haven't?) and the hospitals get to let these fucks bring in thousands of dollars for a few minutes of "durr nuttin wrong here folks go home"

$15,000 and my mom very perfectly described the symptoms of a BRVO to him.


Oh and since Covid started, BRVOs and CRVOs are happening A LOT more than they used to.

Seriously folks if you get dark "floaters" in your eye(s) suddenly, go to a retinal urgent care NOW. If it's nothing then yay. If it's BRVO or CRVO then you may have just saved your eyesight.

Even though this condition used to be rare, they STILL usually test for it in ERs because it's so serious, and if it happens to be a CENTRAL retinal vein occlusion instead of BRANCH retinal vein occlusion and it's not promptly treated, you lose your eyesight within 5 years.

This is also a doctor who let a Covid positive patient walk around maskless even after diagnosing her. She was wandering around talking to people in the emergency room because she was bored.

Other than the admitting nurse, my mom and I were the only ones with masks on.

It's like... why bother going to the emergency room unless you're dying and ya just gotta hope they pay attention to what they're doing?!


The retinal specialist I took my mom to over a week later after we finally found out what happened was super nice, and he works in an office that has a doc on call 24/7 for emergencies.

They treat eye emergencies within 4 hours of arrival no matter how busy they are.

I told everyone in my family that the next time they have ANY eye issues, don't go to the ER. Go to this retinal specialist urgent care office.

Within 4 hours he diagnosed her with EXACTLY what was wrong, set up a baseline, and began eye injection treatments.

So back when this all happened, I could've taken her there and within 4 hours she could've been treated for something that leaves some people completely blind.

mayalaen: (Default)
2023-09-19 12:06 pm

fun convos with MNDPs

dad: two of the five guys i used to bowl with died of broken necks!

mom: really?! at the same time or like...

dad: a few months apart from each other

mom: how does that even happen?! that's a wild coincidence!

dad: *blathers on for a while talking about boring "good old times" shit*

dad (finishing up): and the one fell down a flight of stairs and had a bad head injury

mom *suspicious*: so... he died from the brain injury or the broken neck?

dad: well they didn't say anything about a broken neck so probably the head injury

mom *more suspicious*: so then the other guy, how did he die?

dad: he fell off a roof

mom: and broke his neck?

dad: well the family's post didn't say what exactly killed him

me: so your story, the way you told it, is that two guys from your old team died of broken necks but the truth is that no one from your old team died of broken necks. correct?

dad *the MNPD flaring because his precious ego has been wounded*: well should i just go back to my room then since you guys don't want to hear about what's going on in my life?
 

 

BTW the proper response to this (according to the books and psych docs) is to change the subject. The ego has already been wounded, which the MNDP then considered a "lost game" and moving on puts a stop to the direction the conversation was going and also shows how little everyone around them cares about said subject -- adding to the "lost game" feeling.

So we changed the subject while he sulked for a minute but then he joined in again later, moving on.

mayalaen: (Default)
2023-08-25 04:33 pm

(no subject)

Oops apparently he pushed my mom a little too far this time.

I didn’t realize it when I made the initial post, but part of their talk included her telling him that if he doesn’t knock it off right now, she’s gonna put him in a home.

She’s never threatened that before.

She told me that I’m not to take him his dinner at night anymore. She’ll be taking the plate in there herself.

And if he fucks that up, she’ll do once-a-week meal preps of sandwiches that she’ll deliver to his room once a week.

She said he tried to blame me for some of the way HE’S been acting, and the things he was listing were things I’ve had to change not because I wanted to but because of HIS behavior and so she kinda let loose on him for about 2 hours.

He then tried to blame her for some stuff and she was like “okay AGAIN these are things that you started, I had to adjust to deal with you, and now you’re mad at ME?”

OH and he said one of the things he wants to do that he says we won’t let him do is buy a car for $2000 and take it to see his sister.

The funniest part about this is he can’t stand being with his sister for more than five minutes. Not to mention the fact that he’s REALLY off in terms of money.

In this area you can’t get even a junker for $2000. He’d need at least $6000 (which we don’t have), and it would need some work and it wouldn’t be reliable. He can’t work on cars anymore, so that’s out.

I also had him drive me through a parking lot the other day because I wanted to check something on my truck, and he almost hit two parked vehicles and I have no idea how he didn’t scrape a trailer hitch on the back of a parked pickup truck. He drove SO close to it.

She told him “go ahead. Get a car for $2000. I didn’t tell you no.”

She asked him this morning if he found one yet and he said he changed his mind on the car thing šŸ˜‚
mayalaen: (Default)
2023-08-24 11:52 pm

feeling unreal - i'm venting

The older I get the more fucked up and twisted I realize "normal" people are.

Been dealing with my mom's eye thing for the last two weeks, and there's a good chance she's not gonna regain vision in that eye even once she has months of injections in the eye.

I've been taking her to docs and spending no less than 3 hours per visit because everybody is overbooked and that's in between doing shop stuff from about 3-5am in the morning until 5pm when I make dinner for these stupid fucks.

We're being super careful about masking and distancing and all that because mom's immune system is shot right now with the recent shit she's been through.

We've been leaving Roo with my dad and he watches her so she doesn't have to go in her cage. He's been doing great with that for several weeks.

Yesterday I took mom to a cardiologist to see if the eye thing might have been caused by something with her heart. We're sitting in the doc's office and our Ring cameras start going off.

I check and my dad has invited over several of his anti/va/xxer & anti/mask/er friends (my dad isn't either of those things but he has some friends like that)

he's maskless with them, and I have no idea where Roo is - he's got the garage doors and gate wide open (this man is NOT observant so he wouldn't notice her running away AT ALL).

He also missed the delivery truck coming to the front door with a $9000 shipment of products for the shop, so I have to send Charlie in to pick it up at the warehouse tomorrow. Hopefully it's still there and wasn't sent back to the manufacturer because the freight charges are $900 and nonrefundable.

So I'm freaking out the whole time we're in the doc's office and trying to listen to the doc at the same time to make sure the same thing that happened to one eye isn't gonna happen to her OTHER eye and what we can do about it.

We get back home and I'm shaky and freaked out and mom just goes to bed. Dad just goes on his merry way. Roo was fine BTW.

I still had to cook dinner, clean up the house, walk the dog, and do some late night laundry.

Mom was depressed and mopey all day today, and when I took Roo on a walk this evening, she and dad had a talk.

They do this weird game and dance with each other and I just stay out of those talks because I can't take it.

Anyway. Turns out he did it on purpose.

He's been feeling sorry for himself over a situation HE created for himself (namely that he wouldn't stop harassing me when I would take him dinner at night so I started leaving the plate just outside his room and WOE IS HE that his special dinners I make only for him because he doesn't like what we eat are two steps outside his room and so he has to get off his ass to get his dinner when he does absolutely NOTHING else around here)

so he decided to orchestrate this little thing that he knew we would see while we were at the doc's office.

I mean who does that? Who fucks with people like that?!

And after he did it my mom was all freaked out and depressed, but after they talked and played more of their games with each other, she feels really good, isn't depressed anymore, he's all up and happy, and

I'm just like... are people real?

Are humans fucking real?

I'M the schizophrenic.
I'M the psychopath with a dash of sociopath thrown in for good measure.
I'M the medicated one
And somehow I'm the least fucked up here because even if I thought of doing this to someone (because my brain never stops) I still would NEVER actually do it!

What the fuck is wrong with people?!

Now I can't sleep but both my parents are out like a light and content.

I swear when people ask me if anons/strangers on the net upset me with their hate and all the shit they pull it's like FUCK NO are you kidding they're nothing compared to my family.

And this thing that happened yesterday and today doesn't even rate a 5/10 on my family's fucked up shit scale.

But thanks to me being stressed, overworked, and not being able to sleep much in the last few weeks, this just pushed me over into feeling unreal, so thanks pops. I can feel the love.

mayalaen: (Default)
2023-08-19 03:41 pm

bad news + funny shit

Wednesday: mom has a HARD seizure and is super exhausted and out of it -- the kind that makes her wonky for 1-2 weeks. She had a hard one about 4 days earlier, and she was already out of it and it was hard to get her to keep drinking water.

Thursday : I take her to her scheduled upper and lower endoscopy (because she's epileptic, they have to knock her out completely instead of giving her the twilight stuff) - we were there for 5 hours because emergencies kept coming in at the hospital and staff had to keep shifting us down the sheet

Friday night: she gets spots in her vision of her left eye, thinks she's just tired, and goes to bed

Saturday morning: she decides to tell me that she lost some vision in her left eye due to these big spots, so I take her to the ER - doc does an eye ultrasound and a CT scan of her head, says nothing "emergency worthy" is going on and sends us home with a referral to see an ophthalmologist "when you can" because it's probably ocular migraines.

My mom says it's a little better than it was the night before, and since both me and my dad have ocular migraines, and she thought it sounded similar, we went home.

Wednesday: we're finally able to get in to see the ophthalmologist (he would've taken us sooner if he thought it was anything other than a checkup) and as soon as he hears what my mom is complaining about, he does a dilated eye + contrast dye scan and finds CRAO (central retinal artery occlusion/blockage) and he tells us we need to go see a retinal specialist.

It was 4:55pm when we got out of there (because they were super busy so we were there for FOUR HOURS) and of course the retinal specialist office was already closed, so I called the ophthalmologist back and they're like oh don't worry just call tomorrow morning.

I've already looked up CRAO and I'm freaking out. I've had a couple patients years ago who had CRVO (central retinal vein occlusion), but never dealt with CRAO and I knew that was worse than CRVO.

CRAO is a blockage of the main artery of the eye, and once you have CROA, you can treat it, but within 5 years you'll probably lose all vision anyway.

My mom was like well it's a little better than it was so don't freak out, and once I found the report from the ophthalmologist, I saw he said CRVO, not CRAO. So whew!

Thursday morning: I have to call four offices just to get everybody to find what they're supposed to have to get us an appointment at the retinal specialist's office. They give me the first available emergency appointment, which is the next morning.

Friday (yesterday): We were at the retinal specialist's clinic for 5 hours, but they did tons of testing on her and said that part of it was improving on its own, but that to really treat it she needs injections in her eyes once a month for 3 to 6 months.

He said it's not the central vein -- it's branch so that's not as bad as central vein and definitely not as bad as artery but still worrisome.

They did the first injection, which was actually a series of three injections into the eyeball.

It sucks, and there's about an 80% chance she'll recover full vision in that eye, but at least it's not CRAO and losing her vision completely within 5 years.

2 fun things that came from this super stressful thing:

1. some of the spots in mom's vision are from hemorrhages/blood leaking out of the veins (it looks like she's got freckles all over her eye in the scans)

and when they were doing the eye tests on her they had her look at an LED TV - the spots turned purple - like glowing purple - and she was like what's going on?!

Here at the house all our electronics have blue light filters on them for her seizures. Our TV is plasma (we hope it never dies -- it's 12 years old already) in the family room doesn't emit blue light either, that's why we love it.

So she never looks at any kind of screens that are just plain LED until she went to the doc's office.

Blue light + red blood = purple šŸ˜‚

2. At the end of the visit they took us into a small area with a scheduler, and we scheduled out all the appointments for more injections.

The woman then handed me a paper with the schedule on it, and she had used a Sharpie to fill in 5 dates/times and they were HUGE!! Those five dates/times took up both sides of the paper with nothing else on it!

I'm so glad there was nobody else in the scheduling room because I let out the stupidest bark of laughter when I saw it.

I get why they do it, but I wasn't expecting it because I was too stressed and tired from working + dealing with mom and dad's health issues to think about it until I saw it and it hit me almost as hard as all the signs in the parking lot being bent over because people have hit them with their cars šŸ˜‚

Oh and I got her an eye patch to help with the pain and discomfort and tiredness the eye is feeling and keeps saying "aaarg" and asking for a parrot for her shoulder 🦜

mayalaen: (Default)
2023-08-13 11:15 am

too many docs

Decided to start catching up on the doc visits/procedures I haven't had my parents do for the past 3 years now that we're more confident about mom's health and how to go out safe-ish-ly with Covid/other shit.

I scheduled no more than 1 doc/procedure per week and alternated between parents.

All in all it's 3 months solid of once-a-week shit.

I thought once a week wasn't bad and totally do-able.

But holy shit I forgot how frustrating it is to do shit for old people.

The medical industry (bc lbr it's an industry) is such a joke when you're over 60.

Everything is super hard, super long, and super frustrating. I've complained about it here before but it still blows my mind.

My shit gets taken care of fairly quickly (it's still America so don't get too excited) and I get referrals and authorizations within a somewhat reasonable period of time.

Mom and dad? Nope.

Everything is a struggle and nobody communicates with each other so with every specialist, every office, every pharmacy, and every SINGLE insurance issue, it's like starting over.

I'm so fucking tired, and I'm 25 years younger than mom and 35 years younger than dad.

Yesterday I spent 4 hours in the ER with mom after she started having spots in her vision (she had a stomach procedure 2 days previous).

FOUR HOURS and there were only 4 other people besides us there only to find out she had her first ocular migraine.

Like thanks dude both my dad and I get them and if you just would've ruled out super dangerous shit with a CT in the beginning we could've been out in 1 hour.

I swear they hope old people will just go home and die instead of trying to keep themselves healthy. Old farts are too tired to do this shit and their kids are too busy with their own lives and kids of their own.

Why not just let them live out the rest of their lives easily? Let them have meds without jumping through hoops. Authorize procedures their docs ask for without a fight -- bc like who is going around getting this shit done for fun?!

Can't tell ya how many times I've gone in for an endoscopy just for funsies amiright?!

mayalaen: (Default)
2023-08-01 09:49 am

i did the thing!!

I think I may have burned myself out over the last couple weeks.

I knew the changeover to the new system would wear me out but damn I can barely breathe! But I’m so proud!!

Marissa helped with some of the stuff but most of this was me. Charlie and Marissa set up the hardware in the shop after I got it all working together here at the house.

new stuff

  • new point of sale system with completely new hardware and software (five different stations/sale points when before we only had 2
  • new inventory program
  • new purchase order program
  • new credit card processing company with SEVEN readers
  • new website theme/design
  • 3 new manufacturers who let me become distributor for their stuff
  • 2 new manufacturers who are letting me do drop-ship sales
  • 350 new products we carry complete with at least 3 pics each, marketing materials, and descriptions that I had to program myself in our POS/online store
  • 2 new warehouse locations (1 is our tattoo shop suite and I’m only using that suite address so I can program the online store to force shipping when people buy the drop-ship stuff compared to our shop where they can ship OR pick up in-store. The other warehouse is in Maryland and isn’t really mine but a business associate is letting me use his warehouse as a shipping portal as long as he gets a small cut)
  • a new app for Android and iOS that locals can use for more convenient in-store pickup and anybody else can use for regular orders

I decided to do it a couple weeks ago because usually our slow time of the year is July-September, but for some reason the business never slowed down.

Thought for sure the way the economy is that we’d have a REALLY slow time this year but it’s like people don’t give a shit? I dunno. It’s weird.

But the new stuff is all up and running and I’ve just gotta do minor tweaking and get back to ordering more supplies.

I did an order from my biggest manufacturer 3 weeks ago - an order from him usually lasts us 2 months - but we’re so busy that I just sent in a new order yesterday 😲

Everybody loves the changes to the system and ordering and all that!

And so for we’re loving it because we’ve never had systems that sync with each other and now EVERYTHING is run by the same main system so everything is synced and so easy for all four of us to access anytime we want on any device we want!

I’m so proud of how well the shop is doing!


 

mayalaen: (Default)
2023-06-15 09:09 am

3yo vs Old Fart

We live in a neighborhood where we commonly get groups of thieves walking through in the middle of the night (with a car following them) and stealing whatever they can grab so it’s important to lock everything up.

My dad is constantly forgetting to close the garage door

So I put a Ring camera in the garage. It lets me know if there’s movement in there, and I can check anytime I want to see if the door is open.

The problem is my overworked, stressed brain forgets shit, so after he’s been out there for a while, I forget to check the cameras.

The garage camera alerted me to motion at 8:45am today but thankfully it was just somebody walking their dog.

That means the door was open for 12 hours 😠

I didn’t have kids because I didn’t wanna put up with shit like this BUT life is cyclical and it’s driving me crazy.

I feel like I’m running around after 3-year-olds.

  • they dress in hideously unmatched and dirty things
  • they piss/shit themselves
  • they’re SUPER picky eaters
  • they’re constantly falling/injuring themselves
  • they fall asleep anywhere in any position
  • they’re super stubborn and moody
  • they’ll tell the same story 8 million times
  • they can’t tell jokes bc they can’t remember how they go but they try anyway
  • EVERYTHING. they. do. takes. forever.
  • they won’t clean anything

I’m just glad my old farts can still bathe themselves. I just gotta remind them to do it.

mayalaen: (Default)
2023-06-03 10:28 am

Saturday Story Time #2

As mentioned in my Previous Post, I’m finally feeling better and can laugh at the epic shit-show my family has been putting on for the last few months.

Last you guys read, I was desperately trying to sell the shop.

I opened the shop with a 5-year plan (make it successful and sell at 5 years) and it’s now going on 12 years, interrupted by the pan/demic -- I was in the middle of selling it in February 2020 but that deal was dropped in the middle of March for some reason šŸ˜

2020 and 2021 were spent making the shop work without me being there - doing everything from home. 2022 was spent putting a ton of time into getting everything in the books all shiny and ready to sell again.

In the meantime, for the last 3 years, Charlie and Marissa have been harassing me every chance they get, saying how the shop is holding them back, why haven’t I sold yet, they have things to do, and being snippy with me, blaming me for the heavy quarantine me, my mom, and my dad have been under even though it was a mutual decision between us 3 because of my mom’s cancer & immune system + my dad’s heart issues.

Charlie and Marissa treated me so bad that at one point my mom wrote a letter to them explaining the situation and that we were just being careful of the pan/demic because otherwise she MIGHT DIE.

And she also mentioned that I was actually still doing A LOT of the shop work, just from home - she said it tactfully and in a way that didn’t sound like “she does way more work than you so shut up.”

They took it well and started treating me A LOT better after that which made me bitter about the whole thing, because I told them all those things but apparently schizophrenic me didn’t say it the exact right way for the normal  people to understand/care about it. (you guys talk in feelings?!)

But at least after the letter they were letting me adjust how they worked and they stopped getting bad reviews for the shop once they started behaving 😔

I’ve been talking with tons of different people in the tattoo industry, working out the sale, and got to the point where I was in serious talks and ready to take the next step.

I’ve been working so hard on all of it for so long that I was beginning to get burnout. Knew it was coming and that I was dangerously close to a psychotic episode, and I knew I had to sell quick and seriously relax.

Mom said we should have a meeting with Charlie and Marissa to make sure we were on the same page so things with the sale went smoothly, and so we all met at our house, mom and I in masks but Charlie and Marissa refusing (aren’t they so loving and wonderful?).

As we’re talking, Charlie kinda chuckles and says that he and Marissa were recently talking and they decided that maybe we shouldn’t sell because the shop pays all our combined bills.

Which they already knew. They’ve known for years.

They’re in real estate and sell about 2 houses a year normally and it pays for their vacations and hobbies, but their bills are paid by me.

They could’ve done more real estate in their spare time (they only work a 30-hour week for me at the shop) but didn’t because the real estate market has drastically changed due to the pan/demic and big real estate businesses that came in and have made it nearly impossible for independent real estate agents to get any work. (A real estate agent friend of my dad’s can’t get any work at all and is now driving an ice cream truck)

So I hid my shock when Charlie and Marissa said they didn’t want to sell the shop, and I let them continue talking.

Turns out they’ve been all pissy about everything because they just didn’t really want to work at the shop but when faced with the possibility that they’d have to support themselves through real estate, they had a record scratch moment.

Throughout the rest of the meeting I didn’t let them know anything was getting to me. We just talked about where we go from here and that because of business/industry changes, they’re going to have to take on more responsibility.

They agreed and even suggested more things they could do I wasn’t even planning on dumping on them.

In the end, I’m still kinda thrown by it, but I’m to the point where I can laugh about it.

The shop does make good money, and it’s still growing year over year, but I REALLY REALLY wanted to go into a completely different field -- one I’ve been dreaming of for years and already have people/businesses ready to pay me lots of money for including benefits. Way more $ than I make after splitting profits at the shop with my family!

But selling the shop would financially devastate the rest of my family and they’d have to get their asses in gear real quick or lose everything.

For now, I’m seeing how this goes.

I’m giving them more and more responsibility, taking more time for myself, and the shop is doing REALLY well. Even Kaylan (family friend who is paid to run social media for us) is stepping up her game and our advertising is awesome!

I’m going to keep shifting more and more onto Charlie and Marissa until I get to the point where I have a comfortable amount of time every day to work, write, game, cook, clean, and enjoy my fucking life.

So far it’s going well, and I’m hopeful that it’ll keep getting better.

I’m already to the point where I’ve started gaming again and I’ve got some stories in my head raging to get written. I also feel as though I could travel if I wanted to, and I’m ready to jump back into social media/fandom.

Now that my head is clearing up, things are SO MUCH EASIER LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA and the creative part of my brain is waking up again after a long time of nothing 🄰

The bitterness will hopefully fade, and in the meantime our bills get paid.

mayalaen: (Default)
2023-06-03 09:36 am

Saturday Story Time #1

I haven’t posted about anything my family in a while bc my brain had a bit of a meltdown -- partially bc of microdosing daily for 5 months (on the advice of ppl who said it would treat my schiz) but also bc my family pulled 3 epic shit-shows that threw me.

Now that I’m feeling better myself, I’m seeing the complete ridiculousness of what happened and I can laugh about it.

So feel free to laugh too bc I’ve always believed it’s the reason I’m as sane as I am - if I didn’t laugh at the horrible shit, I’d be curled up in a ball in the corner mumbling and rocking.

šŸŽ  You’re welcome!
Long post. Strap on in šŸ˜

I’m going to start with Andre (Asshole Cousin’s 16-year-old son) and I’m only gonna do 1 story per post or it would be a really long post.

If you’ll remember, last I posted about Andre was that he put a gvn in his mouth saying he was suic1dal and CPS was called, but I’m not doing a cut or warnings because it was all gaslighting and manipulation anyway.

That’s what my family is known for, right?

Andre wasn’t actually suic1dal and only did it to get a rise out of his parents knowing CPS would be called AGAIN on them causing trouble. A game. No bullets in the gvn and no intention at all.

We didn’t know that yet, so a few weeks later when Andre called us and said he was in fear for his life from his dad, had already packed and run away from home, we did some kind of Power Rangers call to action shit and all four of us (me, mom, Charlie, Marissa) ended up doing some seriously illegal shit for this kid, not telling anybody else in the family what we were doing so they wouldn’t be implicated.

We took away and shut down all his electronics so his parents couldn’t track him (they had tracking apps bc they saw his bullshit) and got him to a cabin in the woods with plenty of food, and we wiped our own histories, left electronics at home, used old non-smart vehicles so we couldn’t be tracked.

After five days of the four of us doing all sorts of shit to make sure he could get emancipated, getting burner phones and supplies, etc. and keeping ourselves off the radar bc the police were involved and visiting our houses to check for the kid, I sat down and talked with Andre at the cabin. Just the 2 of us.

Four-hour round trip and at the time we were still in completely quarantine bc of my mom’s cancer + not knowing what I now know about Covid.

Okay, so if you didn’t know, for some reason people just tell me things. Secrets. Things they don’t tell anyone else. Pretty much everything comes out of people around me. Not sure why but I use it for good 🫔

And that’s why the 4 of us decided I should be the one to have a talk with Andre. Get everything out of him, see where he wanted to go from here, and then we’d do what needed doing.

The kid immediately starts trying to manipulate me.

Didn’t work but I usually let people think it works so they keep talking and I get more info out of them.

Turns out he loves poking, teasing, and mocking his parents. Finding ways to get around punishments and then shoving his cleverness in their faces.

He doesn’t really want to get emancipated, get a job, get his license to drive, change his life, or put any effort into anything whatsoever.

In fact, he couldn’t wait to call his friends, wanted me to buy him a bunch of games & new PC, get him a burner phone with “at least 1 terabyte of data a month” and a new wardrobe, etc.

He told me all about how he left this tableau in his room for his parents to find that “released truth bombs that would shake shit up and I wish I could see them when they find it.” Like seriously dude?

I was confused as hell because this didn’t sound like a kid who was terrified of being killed by his dad, and in fact the more I talked with him, the more he opened up.

He wanted me to regularly drive him down to his parents’ neighborhood so he could go up to their Ring doorbell and taunt them. He wanted to live at Charlie’s house, and for Charlie to drive him to and from school every day even though they’re across town.

He wanted everybody to take care of him and clean up after him. And the cabin was already a wreck.

He played all four of us. And given the fact that his parents are into games too and would love nothing more than to take us all to court and ruin us, this freaked us the fuck out.

He also was pissed we didn’t do more for him. “Why did papa (grandpa) get me this shitty junk food? It’s not healthy. Next time you come up, bring healthy food.” And more shit like that.

Last straw for me was that he actually didn’t even wanna leave home. He enjoyed playing games too much and actually liked spending time with his mom, dad, and sister. “Running away” was just a lil vacation for him and a fun game to play on his parents in between finding ways to fuck up any of their punishments for bad behavior.

I left him there and came back home, so dazed that I don’t even remember the 2-hour drive home. I laid it all out for the other 3 involved.

Marissa (Charlie’s wife) was sobbing hysterically because she’s terrified of shit like this, and for several weeks after that I made myself physically sick about it too. Charlie and my mom don’t give a shit about doing things that could land them in prison, but Marissa and I want no part of that.

It was all worth it when we thought we were saving an at-risk kid, but once we knew it was all a fucking game, it wasn’t worth it at all.

Charlie immediately drove back up there, packed him up, cleaned the cabin, and drove him down to his old neighborhood and told him to turn himself in to the police.

He told Andre that if he ever said anything about what really happened, we wouldn’t be there for him when he turned 18. That should hopefully work.

I grew up with his mother (Asshole Cousin). She’s plays games with everybody, and bc she was younger than me, most people believed her over me (my mom saw through her shit, which was awesome).

AC’s mom actually hated me and tried to keep me away from AC bc she thought I was a bad influence. Like lady seriously? She’s 7 years younger and had WAY more under her belt by the time we were both teenagers. I’m not into illegal shit but AC loves pushing boundaries and doing whatever she can get away with.

Anyway, I didn’t realize that Andre was pretty much a mini-AC. My mom saw it coming, and I saw some of AC’s traits in Andre, but I had no idea it was THAT bad since we’ve been in quarantine for 3 years and I didn’t have contact with him.

He’s been lying to us, the school, the police, and CPS for years, and we’ve been worried about him for years.

All for nothing. No wonder CPS never followed through on any of the complaints -- they saw through his shit.

Stupidest part is Charlie and Marissa still don’t get it. They think he was just a kid acting out, and they only listened to half of what I said about him. But that kid opened up to me and it felt like I was talking to his mom.

I’m not playing that game again. The PTSD I’ve got is thanks to AC and my dad, so no.

It’s a relief to no longer worry about the kid, but damn this shit-show has been insane, and since Charlie doesn’t see through Andre’s shit yet, when he turns 18 Charlie’s gonna offer to have the kid move up here with him, and it’s gonna be AC in his house all over again.

Charlie didn’t see AC’s shit until just a few years ago after A LOT of damage had been done. Always blamed it on AC’s husband, who plays games too, but he’s not the ringleader.

It’s been several months since Andre pulled this shit, and now that my brain is doing better, I’m not freaking out over this anymore.

I can laugh at the insanity and wonder what my life would be like if all these assholes were even half as insane as they are.

I also have to wonder if maybe I wouldn’t have even gotten involved if I hadn’t been microdosing but I guess that’s more to laugh about bc why not.

mayalaen: (Default)
2022-11-24 10:07 am

MNPD



I knew what NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) was, but I’d never heard of Malignant Narcissistic Personality Disorder until 4 family members were diagnosed with it and I realized I’d been living in a different world than I thought I was.

MNPDs are so good at manipulation, they even fool psychologists and counselors. Which is why my mom and I thought these four family members were bipolar -- because that’s what they were diagnosed as until a specialist who knew what she was looking for saw through the bullshit.

Since the diagnosis, I’ve seen a lot of people slapping the MNPD label on people they don’t like. People who manipulate others or who seem like a villain from a bad movie.

It would be a huge mistake to fall for that because MNPD isn’t so obvious, especially to people outside MNPD’s circle.

To most people on the outside, someone with MNPD seems extremely charming, outgoing, funny, self-sacrificing, and VERY caring.

This makes it even harder to diagnose and harder for those living with this person. If you complain about anything, you look like the asshole, and the true manipulator comes off looking squeaky clean.

It wasn’t until my mom received calls from two of my dads friends that she realized he’s spent the last 2-1/2 years telling all his friends that we’re abusing him, starving him, keeping him locked in his room, etc. and that it was getting worse. Those two friends were ready to call social services on us.

The reality was that my dad is treated like a king. We don’t engage with him as much as we used to (especially since the diagnosis), but

  • I get him anything he asks for (treats, snacks, tools, clothes, etc.)

  • his room & bedding/clothes are cleaned for him

  • he gets a home-cooked, healthy meal prepared by me delivered to his desk in his bedroom 6 days as week

  • I coordinate all his doctor’s visits and all his medications so he doesn’t have to

  • we even got him a walker when he became unsteady on his feet and appeared to be a fall risk


He still bitterly complains to his friends that Sundays are his ā€œenforced fastingā€ days. It’s the one day a week I have off, so we all just grab food for ourselves. But if you ask his friends (he has A LOT of friends), it sounds as though my dad is chained to his bed, locked in his room, and denied food and water on Sundays.

Thankfully the two friends who called my mom know he’s manipulative, and when they asked him directly about it, he laughed it off like he was telling them a joke the whole time, so his friends didn’t call social services on us.

This isn’t something new. He plays games like this with everyone. He’s driven all my friends and almost all my mom’s friends away over the years. The only reason some of my mom’s close family are still around is because they refuse to abandon her, but even they don’t realize how twisted my dad is.

Every word out of his mouth is a lie and/or manipulation. He screws his own friends over all the time, but they don’t even realize it because he charms and manipulates.

MNPD is NOT simply a manipulative person. It’s not simply an abusive person. It’s a wide range of chronic behavior and personality traits that are aggressively cruel along with a complete lack of conscience and an extreme form of insular selfishness.

Malignant narcissists are AWARE they cause pain, and they enjoy inflicting it. The truth is what they decide it is at any given time, and you’ll NEVER get an honest answer out of them about anything including their own opinions, wants, and desires.

The main thing I’ve learned is that the only way to ā€œwinā€ when dealing with a malignant narcissist is not to play the game. They’re never going to care, understand, feel bad about anything, or change their behavior.

That also means you can’t hurt their feelings, which is extremely freeing (at least for me).

That doesn’t mean you should purposely try to hurt them because that’s not going to work and instead you’ll be hurt. It means that you don’t have to worry about your interactions with them or overthink things because none of it really matters to them.

If you can’t avoid them, build thick walls around yourself. Keep interaction to a minimum, and if confrontation is unavoidable, try to avoid it in public where they’ll get even more attention and they’ll make you look like the fool.

Don’t bother trying to talk things out with them. This saves A LOT of time as they’re never going to change anyway, and telling them how they can hurt you gives them more power.

If you can, get away from them. If you can’t, protect yourself and find a friend/family member to support you and act as a confidant who won’t be scared off by them, won’t confront them, and will play the unassuming, charmed idiot who believes his every word.

I’m probably going to post more about MNPD, so if you don’t want to see it or you find it triggering, please blacklist it.
mayalaen: (Default)
2022-08-01 03:03 pm

(no subject)

mean shit below the cut to prove a point to absolutely no one other than myself who already believes it

Read more... )
mayalaen: (Default)
2022-07-27 03:59 pm

(no subject)

Real life has REALLY been hitting hard and getting in the way of writing and doing fun fandom stuff for a couple months now 😭

There’s good things happening too -- it’s not all bad, but damn, I just wanna write and forget about real life, ya know?!

* new A/C units were painfully expensive but our A/C works better than it has since we moved in and our electric bill is 1/3 less than it used to be!

* the new back door on the house was more expensive than I thought it would be and while replacing it they busted the OTHER door opposite so I had to replace BOTH back doors but they’re SO PRETTY

* my truck battery went out and I’ve had to coordinate friends/family picking things up for me (stuff at drive-thrus like meds) instead of doing it myself but Charlie replaced the battery yesterday (more money) and my truck is working great!

* big local ISP/cable company raised prices AGAIN so I said okay I’m done and have been switching my house, Charlie’s house, and the shop from Cox to other services -- it was A LOT of work, I’m only halfway done, but it’s saving TONS of money a month and we’re getting more channels and better service than before

* Verizon decided to up their prices AND start charging fees if you don’t replace your phone EVERY YEAR and with their service getting worse and worse I decided to switch us -- I haven’t started yet and it’s going to be a HUGE ORDEAL but it’ll be cheaper and hopefully my phone will actually work

* i think our roof might be leaking but i don’t even want to think about this one right now even though that’s a really bad thing to ignore

* both my aunt carol (mom’s sister) and my dad recently fell again -- not enough damage to require ER but it was enough to convince them to finally use walkers as it’s like fall #5 for both of them so that’s a relief

* I usually try to spread inventory re-orders out at the shop but about twice a year they all come due at the same time so I’ve been scrambling to order from NINE manufacturers and it’s so many things 😩 -- I’ve still got 3 places to go but good news is the shop is busy which means we’re making money

Aunt Carol hit her face when she went down, and the bridge of her nose swelled up so much we’ve been calling her a Bajoran (she’s a big Star Trek fan) and it makes her laugh so hard it hurts which is fun šŸ˜‚

I need a nap, but I’m having trouble sleeping lately, and with all the home stuff going on, I haven’t been able to do my gum/my reset in almost 3 weeks, so my head stuff is flaring a bit.

I miss doing fandom things and gaming and writing šŸ’œ
mayalaen: (Default)
2022-07-23 03:07 pm

(no subject)

Before we bought this house and moved in together, my parents were like ā€œwe can eat the same thing every night we’re easy to pleaseā€ and I was like oh cool because I like making large amounts of something and eating it until it’s gone.

They were totally on board and acted like they could outdo me in the eating-the-same-meal game.

They didn’t realize my schizophrenic powers!

Buuut I didn’t realize how badly they were overestimating themselves.

Their limit is THREE MEALS the same.

THREE!!!

Not even in a row! I’m talking 3 dinners the same with other stuff in between!

I’ve had autistic and schiz friends/family members who gladly ate meals over and over again like me, but I assumed regular people could do more than 3 meals, especially when they had other things in between for breakfast or snacks.

If my parents thought they were unusual compared to their friends, then does the average person eat one meal and refuses to repeat it?

It’s food! If it’s something you really like, why wouldn’t you want to eat it again very soon?! And comfort food? How can you not?!

Anyway I discovered my limit when I lived alone, and it was my body giving up before my mind after 9 days of cold noodle/chicken/broccoli casserole with nothing else.

It wasn’t until I puked the second time and was dizzy walking around the house that I figured out my body wanted at least a little variety in food šŸ˜‚
mayalaen: (Default)
2021-09-08 01:53 pm

creepy phones

Yesterday my mom and I were whining to each other because we’re both experiencing an allergy flare-up that’s making our throats and ears sore, giving us sinus headaches, and filling our bronchial tubes.

And even though we don’t go out (other than walks at night with Roo), we have talked across the yard with masks on to the guy fixing our irrigation system who just informed us that THREE of his employees are out with Covid so he’s understaffed.

I was telling her how annoying AND scary it must be for people who HAVE to be out around people all the time because every time they experience any sort of symptoms they gotta be like oh crap do I have covid?!

And we’re sitting here with almost no chance of getting it worried we might have it.

Mom joked that we should get home tests.

I DID NOT search for it. Neither did she.

As of today Amazon, Walmart, Instacart, and Facebook would all like me to know that I can get home covid test kits for as little as $19.99 each.

I’ve never seen home covid test kits before, so I know they’ve never advertised them to me before yesterday.

Like I know our phones are listening, but could they just be a little more subtle?!

I know I gotta live like this but could ya freak me out A LITTLE LESS PLEASE?!

mayalaen: (Default)
2021-09-02 02:11 pm

50th anniversary

We don’t usually make a big deal of my parents’ anniversary.

They don’t have the best relationship, and it’s more like the three of us are all roommates instead of a married couple and their adult daughter living together, but today is their 50th, and even if the relationship itself is dead, 50 years is still an accomplishment.

We usually go out to eat early in the day on their anniversary, and that’s as far as we go for celebrating, but due to Covid, we haven’t gone anywhere since March 2020. Last anniversary we were all worn out from some family crap that was happening.

With 50 being such a big milestone, I told my parents I’d make them whatever they wanted.

Dad requested sausages, mom requested pork shoulder. They’re both mostly carnivores 🄩

Got the pork shoulder in the slow-cooker and I’ll pan fry the sausages tonight. I’m going to make mashed potatoes from scratch too, and I’ve got a head of cabbage ready to bake in the oven. The mashed potatoes and cabbage are things I wanted, but my parents like them too.

I’ve made box cake a few times since Covid, but we haven’t really liked them because there’s so much sugar and we really don’t eat much sugar or salt anymore. Everything is home cooked.

I found a cake mix from Sprouts that is supposed to be more natural, less sugar, and I’m making cream cheese frosting to go on it. Hopefully it won’t be so overwhelmingly sugary and we can enjoy it.

But already mom’s pissed about the guy who is supposed to be fixing our sprinkler system and lighting.

And my dad went and started using lotion on his ringworm three days ago because it was “sooooo dry and itchy” (if you didn’t know, ringworm-infected skin has to dry out, flake, and come off - if you keep it moist, you just let the fungus grow) so the ringworm got worse again just when it was starting to clear up 😔

My mom and I were going to invite him out to the kitchen to eat with us at the table tonight as part of the anniversary thing, but now we’re going to have to be more careful in case he’s grown some new ringworm spot.

A new spot is contagious until it’s been treated for a few days.

Oh and Charlie and Marissa informed me they want to close the shop for 4 days so they can go to a concert (yes, in the middle of a pandemic) in Texas, so not only am I worried they’re going to get sick, but I’m also upset my shop will be closed for FOUR DAYS.

That’s 4 days going into a weekend, so actually the shop will be closed a total of 6 days once you throw in Sunday/Monday (our regular closed days) before it’s open again.

I’m trying to chill and just go with it. I’m excited about the mashed potatoes and cake. My mom and I don’t eat white potatoes very often because it’s white carbs and that’s bad for her ca/ncer, so it’s even more of a treat šŸŽ‰

mayalaen: (Default)
2021-08-31 09:19 am

happy things

One of my favorite things to do is obvious stupid teasing.

Like yesterday when I was ordering a new cushion for my mom’s chair and I was like okay do you want it delivered for free on 09/07, for $30 on $09/02, or $60 on 09/01?

I know she wants free. We’re cheap and patient. But I completely ignore her when she says “free.”

“Sixty dollars? Are you sure? Do we really need it THAT fast?”

“FREE!!”

“Oh, you wanted it in time for your anniversary. Okay, $60 is worth it, I guess.”

“You heard me say free. Free shipping. I’ll wait.”

“Wait. What? Sixty is too much so you’ll take the expedited $30 shipping?”

“MAYA I WANT IT FREE”

“Oh, okay. I misheard you. Sixty it is.”

“MAYA”

“Personally I think that’s a lot of money for shipping, but you’re the boss.”

“MAYA”

“Sounds like a pretty spoiled, privileged thing to do -- spending $60 on shipping to get a cushion within 2 days, but it’s not my place to say.”

“FREE”

“Okay I finished paying for it. You should get a confirmation email soon. And the package will be here on the 1st.”

“I WANTED FREE SHIPPING”

“Oh! You should’ve said something! Too late now!”

While my dad tries and fails to ignore us on the couch. “You guys are ridiculous.”

Because we both know I’m teasing. It’s stupid. But by the end we’re always both laughing and my dad is rolling his eyes and wondering why he comes out of his room ever.

mayalaen: (Default)
2021-08-26 09:29 am

(no subject)

Dad still won’t stop touching his nipples and he keeps asking about things to put on them to make them feel better even though we’ve told him the reason they’re achy and swollen and red is because he won’t stop touching.

Last night he texted: Can I put Vicks Vaporub on them?

I turned to my mom and said “How about ketchup? It’s about as reasonable as Vicks so let’s suggest ketchup.”

She cracked up and was like “If you don’t stop I’m gonna text this conversation to my best friend.”

I said “In that case, add some relish.”

Her friend laughed so hard her husband couldn’t even understand what she was saying as she tried to tell him why she was laughing so hard.