Entries tagged with madelyn

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impending doom

YEARS ago my mom found out about the sense of impending doom thing that my uncle and I get and she was like okay that sounds horrible is there anything that can be done and we’re like no we just gotta ride it out.

She wasn’t having that. She’s like no tell somebody and we can see what’s causing it. Even if we end up not finding the cause, it might help alleviate it.

So about 3 years ago I started letting her know right away when I felt it, and since then I’ve realized I can feel it before it gets to the impending doom stage.

Working with her on it for the last 3 years I’ve gotten to the point where I admit it out loud, I’m quickly able to pinpoint when it started and usually can come up with why.

So even before the actual impending doom feeling starts, I can already start working on it and sometimes avoid that next step.

The reason I bring this up is because today’s sense of impending doom was thwarted before it got full blown and it turned out to be due to the fact that I was going to have to tell the guy who is scheduled to work on our irrigation system next week that he can’t use the bathroom in our house because we’re not vaccinated and my dad has a communicable skin disease that we don’t want anybody else to get.

Turns out the guy doesn’t ever go into customers’ homes so it was a nonevent telling him anyway.

He did feel bad that my dad is in double quarantine though 🤣

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texting

mom: is it the poe-full by f a it convention

me: can ya tell mom had a seizure? 🤣

charlie: OH!!! i was wondering!

marissa: i thought i was the one having a seizure! 😨

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mom: OH i was imagining this earlier - this is funny!

me: okay

mom: i’m dead, you’re alone, and you’re driving down the freeway in your fifth wheel with your dog, and you’ve got your “thinking outside the box” reminder on your dashboard

me *laughing so hard i scared the dog*: WAIT you just said “this is funny - i’m dead and you’re alone!”

mom: no the funny part was you had this little reminder of me telling you to think outside the box right on your dashboard!

me: i know but we’re so weird that not only do we say stuff like this but we also think it’s funny like who does that?!

mom: people who have very boring lives and don’t laugh enough!

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that had to hurt

charlie (my uncle): those cock rings you guys told me to try really suck

madelyn (my mom): why?

charlie: the medium one seemed too loose because it let my dick get a little softer so i used the small one and now the base of my dick is sore

me: how long ago did that happen?

charlie: three days ago

me: yeah that’s not right you probably bruised your dick with a too-tight cock ring - why did you use the small one?!

charlie: well i’m short but fat so i figured-

madelyn: what does length have to do with diameter?!

charlie: ... i don’t know

me: let it heal for like a week and try again but use the medium one - all you’re trying to do is mildly restrict blood flow not choke your dick until it falls off

charlie: okay but they’re also hard to get off

me: oh well they’ve got ones with little handles on either side

madelyn: NO DON’T USE THOSE!!

charlie: this should be good

me: do tell!

madelyn: sometimes the handles rip off if you’re pulling out to the sides too far

charlie: how hard did you laugh at him?

me: and how mad did dad get when you laughed?

madelyn: he was too distracted by the pain to get mad at me but i was laughing hard enough i almost fell off the bed

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My aunt carol (70 years old) who worked as a phlebotomist for years and as a medical transcriptionist for years told me over the phone yesterday that she was all excited Andre got his first Covid-19 vaccine that day because she was finally able to spend the day with him without a mask

and I’m like only his FIRST shot?! and he JUST got it?!

like you do know he has to have both of the shots and even then he’s gotta wait a couple weeks for HIM to be safe

but YOU’RE still not safe because YOU’RE not vaccinated?!

She was like yeah but he had the shot!

My mom overheard us and she said “does getting a flu shot help the guy next to you who didn’t get a flu shot?”

Aunt Carol was quiet for the longest time.

I said something about true herd immunity vs ONE person in your life who got ONE dose of a 2-dose vaccine for something when only about 60% of the US population is fully vaccinated for it and she was like

oh yeah that was stupid of me

The worst part is everyone else living in the house AND in Andre’s house thought the same thing.

And then they wonder why I refuse to let them in my house and why I’m still wearing a mask and staying away from people.

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cousin update: meagan

All my cousins suck. I keep thinking one of them might be redeemable, but they prove me wrong constantly.

Meagan (Marissa’s daughter and Charlie’s step-daughter) is an alcoholic who constantly gets herself into stupid shit.

Every boyfriend she’s ever had, and she’s had a lot, is pretty much the same guy.

Here’s how the relationship goes:

meet a guy who works/goes where you do
party with the guy whether he’s your boss, workmate, or whatever he’s doing in life
quickly move in with the guy either in his place or get a place together
decide you don’t want to party anymore and he shouldn’t either
play sick twisted mind games with him constantly until you drive him crazy or send him deeper into alcohol or drug addiction
continue being so ridiculous to everyone around you that you lose your job and the cops are called out to your place on a regular basis to get you to shut the fuck up and stop harassing the neighbors and their pets and stop passing out on their lawns or banging on their doors and windows screaming to be let in thinking it’s your place
suddenly freak out and cry to everyone who will listen that he’s “beating the crap out of me HELP!!” even though you never bruises (she bruises VERY easily) and your boyfriends are usually the ones with the bruises -- (her ex-husband had cuts on him and a split lip one time but he wouldn’t say why)
insist everyone drop everything and come rescue you immediately
stay with whoever “rescued” you, taking advantage of them, playing sick twisted mind games with everyone in the house, letting your dog shit and piss all over their house while you treat everyone like shit and fall back into alcoholism so badly that you throw up all over the house, pass out in random spots in the house, piss yourself regularly, and never clean up after yourself or your dog
if anyone complains, pull out your self-diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and use it as permission to treat people however you want
continue this until you get a new job
clean up enough and work hard enough for your employers to begin really liking you for a few weeks or even months
meet a guy who works/goes where you do

It’s the same exact thing every time. The only difference is where the guy lives.

All but two of the guys lived with their mother -- they didn’t pay their mothers anything or help out in any way and most of them had suspended licenses for drug/alcohol related issues and insisted their mothers drive them anywhere they wanted to go
Two of the guys slept IN THE SAME BED as their mothers
One of those mothers pinned a sheet to the ceiling and draped it down the middle of the bed so Meagan and her son could have privacy and there was no door on the bathroom that was in the same room with the bed -- Meagan said they didn’t fuck in the bed, but they did in the shower because it was more private
One guy lived on the open porch of his mom’s house (Meagan lived with him for about 4 months on the porch)
All of the guys have severe drug and/or alcohol addiction

So Charlie is on his way to Colorado (where she was sent to go to rehab) right now to pick Meagan up after she called last night claiming the guy she met in rehab (great place to meet amiright?) had “gone crazy” and was “beating the shit out of me.”

Charlie has a temper, a short fuse, and no filter since his brain injury, and he’s driving up there alone so that Marissa can take care of customers at the shop.

I have a feeling Charlie is going to end up arrested for a confrontation between himself and the rehab guy because ALL of Meagan’s boyfriends have been cocky little fuckers, and twice now the only reason Charlie wasn’t arrested for getting into confrontations with her boyfriends was because when the cops came Charlie was like yeah I screwed up here’s exactly what I did and why and he’s charming so they let him off with a warning.

Now he’ll be up there without Marissa, me, or Madelyn to keep him from doing stupid shit.

Oh and Meagan has been banned from living in Charlie’s house, my house, and all my other cousins’ houses except Dominic, her brother. Stupid guy offered to let her live with him while she gets back on her feet.

His wife of only a few months doesn’t really know Meagan, and now I’m worried this is going to end his marriage because yeah Meagan is that much of a mindfucker.

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Here’s how our (my mom and I) first lab draw from in-home phlebotomist went.

dude was covered in sweat and complaining that his car was breaking down and he couldn’t use the A/C
i had to ask him to put a mask on
he had to search through his car for a mask that was on the floor in the back of the car
he wasn’t sure how many tubes he needed to fill for the tests my mom and i needed so he looked it up on his phone while we waited
he used ONE pair of gloves for both my mom and i and kept wiping is forehead, hair, and neck to get rid of the sweat dripping
as he was taking the blood, he was whipping the full tubes into his bag
once all the tubes from both of us were tossed in the bag he was like “oh I guess I should’ve labeled those” pulled them back out and labeled them
the pads he used to bandage us were in the bottom of his bag and not packaged
he forgot that we needed urine samples, so he went back out to his car and searched the back seat and the trunk for a container, all without changing his gloves and neither the container nor the specimen bag were packaged or sealed
he couldn’t figure out how to note on the papers that a copy needed to be sent to my primary doc so i called my doc and got the fax number for him
after he left his car actually did break down
he left the car there for an unknown amount of time and had his “friend” pick up the bag of blood tubes and take them to a lab for him
he’s tried calling us a bunch of times trying to get us to give him more info because “the lab needs to be paid for this” but he lost all our information so they can’t bill our insurance company for it

I haven’t given him any more info, and when I called the company that employs him, they said very dismissively “yeah we’ll look into that.” The woman couldn’t have sounded less concerned or surprised by the whole thing, and I doubt she even did anything about it.

The second time we got it done it was with GetLabs.com, and I very highly recommend them!

They’re only in about 3 states right now, but they were super professional, very nice, and the woman that came to do the lab draw was really calm and patient with my mom, who had recently had a seizure. She also very carefully labeled everything and had me check everything before she left.

She had biohazard containers, changed her gloves frequently, wiped down everything, and packed it all so our stuff didn’t get mixed up.

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when my mom disappeared

My grandma died when I was 8, and the man my father (Nelson) was died with her.

He hadn’t been a super attentive father, but my mom tells me he played with me every day when he got home from work, and we went on vacations as a family.

He listened to me. He liked being around me, and apparently I liked being around him. He loved games, so we spent a lot of time at arcades, and he would invite my friends to go along too and pay their way.

Nelson didn’t handle his mom’s death well, and he turned into an angry, distant person who didn’t even seem to realize I was still there for a few years.

When he did start to notice me, it was to yell at me for something or complain or demand something. He wasn’t nice anymore. Ever.

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spend time where it counts

For years my mom has been trying to get me to put my efforts behind things that do good instead of allowing people to monopolize my time when they don’t even appreciate it.

The problem is I’m terrible at figuring out who is actually going to appreciate something and use it and what’s best to focus my efforts on.

I’m not the type of person who half-asses things. If you ask me to do something, it’s getting overdone.

Which is great for things that need a lot of research like the business I’m in, which would’ve failed miserably if I wasn’t the way I am. And it’s great for people like my mom who appreciate and use the things I find. But for a lot of things it just works out to be for nothing.

Like with my dad.

Every time my mom has been diagnosed with something or has a problem, I learn as much as I can about it. Between the two of us, we came up with a food list of dos and don’ts and changed our entire way of eating for her cutaneous T-cell lymphoma.

The result was that her cancer doc and her dermatologist were both blown away by how fast she recovers from every spot of cutaneous T-cell lymphoma she develops.

It never shows up in her lab work, unlike almost every other patient with the disease.

The spots clear up so quick that both of her docs go on and on with “keep up the good work!” and “maybe you should do a seminar to help others” and they give her the lowest and second lowest doses of cream that usually aren’t strong enough to treat this disease well, but they work for her because she just needs a little help.

(lowest dose cream for mild spots and second lowest if the other cream doesn’t work fast enough)

Anyway, I’ve been working harder at putting my efforts where they’re needed and appreciated.

So yesterday when my mom came out of my dad’s room and said “Paul (dad’s best friend) told him that he did some research and found that low B12 can make ringworm worse” I nodded, said something about how yeah that might have a connection since my dad’s side of the family has B12 deficiency -- I’ve got it too and it’s part of what I had to work with for our diet.

When I followed that up with, “But I’m not going to put my time and energy into researching that when he’s not going to follow through,” she paused for a moment, seemed a little surprised, but then nodded and smiled.

The fact that we found all those nearly untouched vitamins in his room a few days ago definitely helped me realize quicker that I shouldn’t bother with the B12 thing, but I’m also hoping I’m doing better with the whole spending time where it counts thing 🥳

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excited about a thing

For like almost 4 years now I’ve been making a morning protein health drink for me and my mom. It had to evolve a bit when we decided to quit buying fresh fruits and veggies from local stores (too many recalls and nobody around here isn’t disgusting), but my mom and I love it.

Almost 2-1/2 years of that time I’ve also been making one for my dad. But he’s such an ass that he complains about everything to the point where I had to start making his first and separate from ours with the ingredients he’d allow.

“those probiotics hurt my stomach!”
“the white powder gave me the runs!” -- a second protein powder
“the blueberries have little seeds in them that make me choke!“ -- it’s powdered blueberries
“the MCT oil made me queasy!”
“the coffee is what gave me atrial-fibrillation” -- it was 1oz so about 10 mg vs the 40mg he regularly consumed with each Pepsi he drank
“DID YOU PUT CHALK IN MY DRINK?!” -- powdered peanut butter

The probiotics that were evil and hurt his stomach? He now takes the capsules. The same ones I used to dump out into the drink. He claims the capsules don’t hurt his stomach but he also doesn’t know they’re the same thing 😤

And if you’ve been following me, you’ll realize ALL the other stuff he was doing including messing with his own meds is what caused atrial-fibrillation flare-ups.

This protein drink wasn’t something I went into lightly. I’ve done tons of research and tweaked it over the years to make it fit my mom’s cancer and all the things we need because we don’t eat some things other people eat.

Anyway I finally realized how many Boost dad was drinking a day -- between 2-5 -- so I was like okay you gotta choose between my drink, Boost only twice a day, or all the vitamins I spent a TON of time researching for you (that once we took out of his room we realized he had only taken a couple times and stopped).

He chose Boost. Expensive, but whatever. I don’t have to buy vitamins for him and I DON’T HAVE TO MAKE HIS STUPID DRINK.

It used to take me 25 minutes to make our morning drink. Making it for just my mom and I, it only takes me 10 minutes including clean-up time.

It’s quick. It’s easy. I swear it tastes better.

It might taste better just because it’s less stressful, but also I’d have to put things into about five different glasses to get all of our stuff in the right proportions without him getting any of the stuff that he said was evil.

I just put all the ingredients into the blender together now. No extra glasses.

You know, like a normal person would do who doesn’t have my father as a father.

Oh and also because my dad is still battling ringworm, he’s been quaran/tined to his room, so my mom and I get to have breakfast in peace. That probably makes it taste better too 🥰

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do you know why old people are grouchy?
because i now know why old people are grouchy
my dad had me late in life so taking care of him began 20 years before I thought it would

They're grouchy because. Every. Single. Thing. you try to do medically is so so so much longer, more difficult, and ridiculous than you can even imagine

Want to pick up meds once or maybe even twice a month instead of every other day? Sorry, nobody connects with each other and 8 million doctors who all have their own schedules and systems somehow can’t coordinate with pharmacies even though everything is digital now

if ya wanna read more of my whining it’s below the cut

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i still don't understand

Okay it escalated quickly from there with dinner.

The basics are:

1) I’ve taken dignity and autonomy from my dad because -- and we agreed on this back when the pan/demic first started that I’m the one who deals with cleaning food coming in the house, anyone coming to the door, etc. because I’m the most ridiculous when it comes to germs and the most knowledgeable when it comes to cross contamination. “You won’t even let me answer the door and you tell me when I’m scratching my sores!” I’ve never physically stopped him from answering the door, I just answer the door like we agreed to. And I mention the scratching because HE ASKED ME TO since he’s breaking open healing sores

2) I’ve taken my mom’s dignity, voice, and self-worth because I let other people shut her down even though I don’t do it myself and I’m not asking others to do it

3) I control everything

4) I cook dinner too late in the day because apparently I want to torture them instead of quitting work at 3-4pm and starting dinner immediately, I stop work when the shop closes at 5pm and start dinner then

5) I don’t listen to either one of them even though that’s all I ever do is listen and they won’t ever shut up, especially my dad about his own problems that he obsesses over

6) I dismiss all of their problems

And like I know I don’t understand human behavior and emotions well, but is this real? Am I the jerk?

Am I taking their dignity and autonomy because I answer the front door wearing a mask and am careful about wiping things down when my parents forget to wear a mask and cross contaminate without even realizing it? When we agreed that’s how we’d do things? And they never mentioned they DON’T like that arrangement?

Am I torturing them by cooking them dinner and serving it at 6-7pm instead of 4-5pm?

Am I supposed to control how OTHER PEOPLE talk to them?

Am I dismissing their problems and their voice by listening to everything they say (maybe it’s because of the schizophrenia but I don’t have the ability to tune people out) and trying to fix any issues and helping them with stuff?

I feel like if I had a normal brain I would understand all of this, know what to do about it, or it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.

Do non-schizophrenics just GET this? Do you empathize and sympathize and understand how when I put X + Y into the mix it comes out as something that isn’t even an answer in the book?

I’m so confused.

Are they just overly emotional and hurt by other things and are taking it out on me? I know people do that and they don’t mean to hurt the people they take it out on, and if that’s what this is I can just go okay it’s not directed at me I’m just collateral damage.

But if it’s me, how do I change this?

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human behavior question

I need help with a human issue. I don’t get humans very well, and I can’t ask my mom (who is very good at helping me understand human behavior) because my mom is the subject.

Here goes.

My mom is a very passionate person. She cares deeply and has SO MUCH compassion and empathy it’s like woah.

So when she talks about something, she can get intense, loud, and her face will get red, and your instinct is to be worried she’s gonna give herself a heart attack.

But she takes it as people shutting her down because they can’t handle the passionate way she talks.

Today we were talking with my psych doc -- me, my mom, and my dad -- about my dad’s psych issues and how my mom and I can’t take him anymore so something has to be done.

Everything was going fairly well. Dad was actually talking about things and open to discussion and my mom and I were filling things in and helping.

Pdoc asked a question about the past, and my mom really got into it, getting louder and hands waving, and she was loud about it. Not pissed, not lying, nothing bad about it other than her face was turning red and she was stuttering her way through it like she seemed distressed.

So my pdoc was like okay Madelyn I need you to calm down so you don’t hurt yourself, I’d rather you not have a have a heart attack or a seizure.

My mom shut right down. Because of course she takes it as being told to take a seat. That’s not how my pdoc meant it, but I do understand that my mom could take it as that.

After the appointment and my dad went to his room, my mom is fuming. She’s hurt. She’s upset.

I dared to say it was because pdoc was worried about her, so that didn’t go well, but I’m not so much asking this because I’m upset about her reaction to me. I’d genuinely like to know what to say to someone when this happens or how to help the situation.

My mom isn’t attacking people. She’s animated and can get loud and intense, but she’s trying to fully explain things and help, in this case, my dad and to let the pdoc know about my dad so he can get help.

Was the pdoc dismissing her? Was that the wrong way to say it? Should she have said anything? Is it just that people don’t like it or can’t handle it?

I have no problem with my mom doing it because I know the energy she has isn’t being directed at me in anger. She’s an impassioned speaker who deeply cares.

And this whole thing isn’t about me. I just want to understand it and I’d like to know how to deal with it, how to help. Remember that I’m schizophrenic and I don’t just absorb how to human like a lot of people do :D

Should I have stood up for my mom and told the pdoc hey let her speak? What’s going on when this type of thing is happening? Because pretty much everybody in her life has done the calm down thing with her.

My dad rolls his eyes and holds his hands up and I know that’s not a nice way of dealing with it.

Any advice here would be greatly appreciated. And if you’re just a passionate speaker yourself, maybe share with me how you feel about things?

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not feeling so well

It’s been 4 days since we finished cleaning my dad’s room (he hadn’t cleaned it for 9 years).

My mom and I are still experiencing lung congestion, sinus and Eustachian tube pain and fullness, throat pain, and Saturday night I developed an eye infection in BOTH eyes.

I haven’t had an eye infection in at least 1-1/2 years 🤢 (I get them easily but I’ve learned how NOT to get them and only get them when I’m surprised by something gross like dirty stuff falling on me -- is that a normal thing? Hahaha!).

We really should’ve worn face masks and eye protection, but we just didn’t imagine it would be THAT bad and make us sick. I used to wear that stuff when I helped clean out houses.

Yeah I know he had developed hives and was sick himself, but... still?

😡 we should’ve known better

cut because of course this got longer than i thought it would 😝

We’re taking allergy pills, Mucinex, I’ve been taking eye drops, and I’ve been doing occasional albuterol puffs. We should’ve done the albuterol nebulizer treatments right after cleaning his room.

We’ll be fine. I’m just griping.

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We finished cleaning my dad’s room.

It took us 4 days. We’re still finishing up his laundry. We decided to wash all his clothes because his room was so disgusting that even the clothes in his closet were dusty and gross.

My mom and I are having lung congestion and sinus/Eustachian tube pain and fullness. We’re taking meds to help, and it should get better now that his room is done.

But damn he was LIVING in that 😲

It was even worse than I thought. He really hadn’t cleaned anything in 9 years.

My mom and I don’t go in his room because he likes it hot even in the summer. It’s always hot and stuffy in there. When we finally started tearing apart the room it was like NO WONDER you were having an all-over allergic reaction.

He still thinks it’s a medication reaction.

He still thinks it’s not getting better.

In fact, he called his cardiologist just this morning to tell him about new hives on his back.

We looked and they’re so old they’ve scabbed over 🤣

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veggies!!!

My mom and I miss fresh veggies. We’re the type of people who love eating a salad for dinner more than pretty much anything else.

Gimme some spinach and/or Romaine with mushrooms, bell peppers, onions, kidney and/or black beans, etc. and a little bit of home-made honey mustard dressing and I’m a happy woman!

But since the numerous recalls of fresh veggies due to things like salmonella and then Covid-19 hitting, it’s made us rethink bringing something home from the supermarket and just eating it without cooking. So we haven’t had a fresh uncooked vegetable in over a year.

WE MISS THEM SOOOOO MUCH!!!

If you didn’t know, there’s a huge problem around my state because of the way field workers are treated. Their already-abysmal pay is docked if they dare to use the port-a-potty and even if they do use it, they’re not given toilet paper or soap, so the workers don’t bother stopping to use the port-a-potty. They just go on the field.

Our state has one of the biggest suppliers of fresh veggies in the country, and we supply 2/3 of the US. If you wanna know more, feel free to ask. It’s sick what they’re doing to workers, and nobody is doing anything about it.

Nothing against the workers. I blame it all on the greedy fucks who care more about profits than the health of the workers or the people who spend money on fresh veggies.

Anyway, after all the recalls (seriously we hear about at least one major recall a month around here) we were questioning it even before Covid hit.

We want fresh veggies again, so my mom has been looking into growing them indoors. We live in the desert so growing veggies outside is way too hard for the small yield you can get, and 4 months out of the year it’s pretty much impossible to keep veggies alive due to heat. I’ve tried it before.

My mom thinks she’s found the perfect way to set things up, so we’re going to use the pantry to do this.

We’re so excited and we haven’t even started yet.

One of these days we’re GOING to have fresh veggies again! I can’t wait to just bite into a veggie without cooking it!! 😍

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I was just telling my mom I’ve gotten a few things checked off my huge list and maybe I can chill a little knowing some of the big things are finished.

As I’m saying this, my dad walks out and is like “my back REALLY itches.”

I take a peek and he’s got raised hives all over his back, shoulders, and chest and his nipples are red and gross. The nipples aren’t a new thing today -- they started a couple weeks ago.

He’s been dealing with an allergic reaction to something and we don’t really know what it is, but now that it’s gone to hives stage, that takes it up a notch.

Got him to shower without using Irish Spring soap, got him into some freshly washed clothes instead of the clothes in his room, and got some Benadryl and an anti-anxiety med into him. I managed to convince him to use zinc oxide cream on his hives too, which settled him. He’s sleep in the chair in the living room.

When we moved into this house about 9 years ago, we decided to change the way we all lived.

In the past it was always mom does cooking and cleaning and house maintenance (whether it’s do it herself or call someone) while dad and I work full time and I fill in when mom isn’t doing well (she seems to do something big to herself that takes her out every 7-10 years).

We’re a family full of workaholics, so really you can’t say one worked more than the other, including mom because of course housework is work.

Now that dad isn’t working other than an odd job arranged over the phone a couple times a month, we split up the chores. It’s not really an even split, but it’s better than I could’ve hoped for.

Dad is supposed to clean his own room and bathroom and wash the dishes. He does great at the dishes over the last year, but he has never cleaned his room the whole 9 years we’ve been here. He’s cleaned his bathroom a few times after some incidents but that’s it.

And since he started developing this allergic reaction both my mom and I have told him WE can’t even go into his room without feeling it in our lungs and our skin gets itchy so maybe he should do something about that.

He keeps going yeah yeah I’ll get around to it but then comes out and tells us every 5 minutes about the itchiness and sneezing, etc.

With the development of raised hives in a 77-year-old man who has atrial-fibrillation and is on blood thinners, I don’t wanna push it.

I probably should just wait until he starts turning red and can’t breathe and call an ambulance, but I don’t wanna pay for that and I don’t wanna put up with his whining. So mom and I are going to clear out his room over the next few days.

In between all the other stuff I’m doing 😝

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too many pillows

I ordered 2 new pillows for my dad, and they never came even though FedEx said they delivered them yesterday.

I contacted Sam’s Club to tell them. We have Ring, so I told them that I would’ve been able to see porch pirates take it if they were delivered and promptly stolen, so they must have just never come. Sam’s Club was super nice about it and refunded the pillows and have already sent me new ones.

I went into the garage just now and there’s a big box there. Which is odd because we only put empty boxes in the garage.

It’s the pillows.

My mom must’ve somehow heard them being delivered, gotten them in, erased the Ring footage (she’s the one that controls it and she likes to keep it clean of unnecessary stuff), and put the box in the garage, which we NEVER do unless we’ve already taken the stuff out of the box and it’s out there waiting to be cut down and trashed.

Now I’ll have to contact Sam’s, tell them I was a dork, and hopefully get the new pillow order stopped or I’ll have to return them when they get here, which is a pain.

This whole thing is even weirder because my parents never go to the door anymore. Since Covid, they know I’m much better at keeping safe than they are (I suppose this is one perk to having schizophrenia) and so we’ve all agreed I’m the one to go to the door and/or bring in packages.

I don’t even know when she did this. I’ll have to ask her when she wakes up.

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went to the doctor today the three of us

it’s the first place we’ve been other than our house and the first people we’ve been around for more than a year

now begins 14 days of “i think my throat hurts here’s the flashlight take a look” “did i hear you cough?” “my chest hurts am i dying?” “take my temperature” “my O2 sat dropped from 98 to 97 am i dying?!?!!”

should i tell them yes they’re dying every time?
we all have allergies so the above stuff is normal everyday stuff
could be fun to tell them they’re dying every time they ask 😈