mayalaen

April 8, 2015
8. What song is almost guaranteed to make you cry?

Tool's Sober. It's a song that I identify with not because I've ever had a problem with alcohol, but because of my mental problems and the fact that many times in my life I've been faced with the decision of drugging myself to oblivion (legal drugs that the docs WANT me to take because they don't know what the hell to do with me or others that have this) and living in that drugged state 24/7 OR dealing with life the best I can with milder pills.

In the song, Maynard is just screaming, gut wrenching growling about why can't we just not deal with all this shit right now (and he has hidden meanings for his hidden meanings, so if somebody else interprets this differently, good for them). I make the choice on a daily basis to deal with life, but it hurts, and I wish I could just... not. I wish I could take the easy way.

There are two medications in particular my doctors prescribe. They give me the choice between them, but they strongly suggest the one I normally DON'T choose. And I shit you not it's a choice between red pills and blue pills. No, really! I think there are a few geeks in the pharmaceutical business (or the Wachowski Brothers share my particular mental problem and were given the same choice) because the blue pills are the ones that kinda help gently knock me back into my regular state, but the red pills just knock me the fuck out for days.

I actually took a picture of the two pills the first time I got them and sent it to a geeky friend of mine with the caption "My doctor is apparently Morpheus!" He laughed so hard his stomach hurt. And then he asked which one I was going to choose.

Back to the song. There've been times I've started crying while listening to Tool's Sober, gotten stuck like that, and had to snap myself out of it by doing something else. I love the song, love listening to it so loud that it makes my ears hurt, but man does it get me.

There are plenty of other songs I like, but none that can get me crying as quickly as this one can.

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~Maya