Her Turn - Part 2
Jan. 13th, 2014 09:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mayalaenMaster Post || Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || Epilogue || Notes
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Part 2
Two and a half hours later and three bags full of lingerie later, Charlie and Dean get back to the bunker and sneak to Dean's room. Dean still isn't comfortable with Sam knowing about any of this, and Charlie has reassured him multiple times that it's okay, that he may never feel comfortable enough to tell Sam, but it's his choice.
There's something new with Charlie too. Walking into the lingerie store was a turning point in Charlie's speech patterns. Dean hopes she won't say anything like this around Sam, and Dean figures Charlie won't because she's just that cool about it all, but Charlie has been calling him Dee and has made a couple of comments about “how pretty this will look on you” and even offhandedly commented when Dean picked up a green tank top, “She knows what'll go with her beautiful green eyes!” to no one in particular, but it made Dean smile.
Dean's not sure if he's ready for Sam to hear things like this. But it's growing on him, and the first few times Charlie called him Dee, he felt a thrill go through his body. And the way Charlie says Dee sounds so natural, like a shortening of his name and one that can be taken as just that instead of a feminizing of his name means that Dean doesn't really have to worry about it even in front of Sam. Charlie is so... Charlie.
And if she called him Dee in front of Sam, Sam might tease him a bit for it, but only because it's so adorable, and Sam would just have to because he's Dean's brother. Brothers have to tease. It's in the sibling handbook.
Whatever it is Charlie's doing, Dean's warming up to the idea quickly. It feels good down to his core. Charlie is more than accepting. She's more than helping him. And he's more than just falling in love with her a little bit.
“Try them on! Try them on!” Charlie squeals as Dean closes his bedroom door behind them.
He turns around and nearly falls over his own two feet as he sees Charlie pulling her shirt off. His mouth drops open and he flat out stares at her.
She looks at him over her shoulder. “Clothes! Off! We couldn't try them on in the store, so you have to now! I wanna see!” she demands.
She has so much excitement in her voice that it stops Dean from staring, but then he hesitates when he realizes she means he should strip right here, right now. Not that he minds getting naked in front of a chick, but usually there's sex involved.
“Clothes! C'mon!” Charlie says as she looks over her shoulder again. She unhooks her plain black bra and flings it into the corner of the room.
He knows she knows he's hesitating, that he's not sure what to do. And he knows she's purposely trying to lighten the mood to get him to just forget about his reservations and just go for it. So that's what he does. His boots go first, then his shirt.
By the time he's undoing his belt, Charlie's completely naked, and he tries not to stare at her adorably perfect ass, tries to work at getting his clothes off, but it's hard.
And speaking of hard.
Dean freezes. He can't take his pants off now. He wouldn't even get away with hiding it if Charlie were to turn around right now.
He grumbles to himself. Dicks are so inconvenient. He shouldn't have to deal with this. Dicks are ugly, messy, and there's no way in hell to hide it if you're aroused. It's like dicks have a mind of their own and want everyone else to know what's going on.
Pussy is perfect, in Dean's opinion, and not for the first time he wishes he had one. They're so pretty and soft, and even when they do get messy, it just makes them more fun to lick and suck. But he has a dick, and he wishes he had a bag of ice to shove down his pants to get rid of the growing inconvenience.
“Nobody's in complete control of their bodies,” Charlie sing-songs loudly. “I'm not going to run away screaming just because you're hard.”
Dean blushes hard and lets out a nervous chuckle. “Sorry,” he says, not knowing what to do with his hands.
“Don't be sorry,” she says as she starts pulling their recent purchases out of the bag nearest to her. “I have a cute ass, as I've been told many times, and it leads to reactions from body parts,” she says as she turns to him, batting her eyelashes.
Dean lets out a bark of laughter, then decides to just do it. He takes a deep breath and just undoes his pants, pulls them off, and gets his socks off. He tries to ignore the semi he's got going on and walks over to the bed, where Charlie has spread out some of their new panties.
She's looking over their choices. “You should probably try these first, at least until your dick calms down a bit and you can fit inside some of the smaller ones,” she says as she holds up a pair of panties that have a little more substance to them than some of the other panties they've bought.
Dean takes the panties from her, and his cock twitches at the idea of putting them on. Charlie had picked these panties for him. They're light blue cotton boy shorts with bright pink trim around the waist and the same bright pink around the legs in lace. They're simple, and Dean had expected Charlie to go with thongs and more revealing panties, but he figured she knew what she was doing. He wasn't complaining.
He's momentarily distracted, getting his first fairly good glimpse of Charlie's pussy. From what he can see, Charlie's got just a little tuft of dark red hair at the top of her pussy, and the rest looks like it's either shaved or waxed. He tries not to stare, closes his eyes a moment to stop himself, then remembers the panties in his hand.
Dean pulls them on, not really knowing what to do with his very hard cock once he gets the panties up, and he yelps when Charlie just grabs his dick, holds it against his pelvic area to the left, and pulls the panties up around it, letting the waist snap up against his lower belly, the panties bulging out obscenely around his dick, but still managing to covering it.
“Mmm, very nice!” Charlie says, nearly growling and clearly checking him out. “Turn around, sexy,” she says with a twirl of her fingers.
Dean does as he's told, feeling only slightly ridiculous until he finally notices how nice the panties feel. They're the perfect size. Charlie had done a great job with picking them. Dean shivers when he feels Charlie's finger run over the lace, and it's then that he realizes the back side of the leg holes curve up a bit, leaving his lower ass cheeks outside the panties.
“Your ass looks amazing in these,” Charlie informs him, practically leering.
He does feel sexy. He feels soft and warm at the same time. He feels right. Even though his dick is hard, he's never been in a situation where he's wearing panties with someone else right there and it's not a sexual thing. He kind of wishes it was sexual, but at the same time it's nice to share this with Charlie. He'll take her however he can get her, and this right here is fun, and it'll have to be enough.
“Put on the tank top,” Charlie says, holding the matching top out to him.
He slides it on, loving how it molds perfectly to his upper body. The straps are about half an inch wide and bright pink, just like the trim on the boy shorts. The body of the top is the same light blue as the boy shorts, and the cotton is very soft.
“That. Is. Hot,” Charlie breathes as she stands back and checks him out from top to bottom and back up again. “How does it feel?” she asks as she looks up at him expectantly.
Dean runs his fingers gently over the top, making himself shiver. “Awesome!” Dean says with a big smile.
“My turn!” Charlie says as she grabs a pair of panties in her size from the pile.
She pulls them up and does a little spin so Dean can see how they look. They're sheer white with half-inch, white elastic bands at the legs and waist, the sheer fabric ruffled at the edges. They hug her body just right, and the little green bow below her belly button finishes the look. Dean moans loudly, nearly drooling.
“I take it that's a yes on keeping them,” Charlie says with a giggle, then picks up the matching bra. She gets the bra on and then strikes a pose for Dean. “Well?”
He can see her nipples through the fabric, and even though he'd just seen her nipples without anything obstructing them, now he really wants to lick them through the fabric, but he controls himself, motions for her to spin around for him, then nods as she does a spin.
“They accentuate the shape of your hips. Very nice,” he drawls.
She smiles at him. “And you can see my nipples,” she stage whispers at him.
Dean chokes out a laugh. “Yes. Yes, you can,” he says, his eyes roving over her breasts.
“Okay, get them off. We have a bunch more to try on!” Charlie says as she unhooks her bra and tosses it on the bed.
Charlie pulls on a pair of yellow-trimmed Batman underoos, then the matching tank top. The fabric is thin cotton, and Dean wants to mouth over the Batman symbol that's resting just above her pussy.
“Less drooling, more changing!” Charlie insists as she bounces on her toes, her tits bouncing along with her.
Dean gets lost watching her breasts bounce in his face, so Charlie grabs a pair of black lace tanga panties and tosses them at Dean.
“Your dick is never going to calm down if you keep getting all excited,” Charlie teases with a smile.
Dean chuckles. Charlie doesn't seem to give a damn that his dick is standing at attention, so he relaxes a little. He'd rather it either calm down or even just turn into a pretty little pussy, but if Charlie's okay with it, he can chill out about it.
He holds the panties in between the fingers of his left hand as he pulls off the boy shorts and tank he's wearing, then pulls the tanga panties on. Again they're a perfect fit other than his hard dick, and again Dean is a little confused as to what he should do with said dick.
“Here, let me get this for you,” Charlie says, and before Dean can protest, she grabs his dick again and positions it so the left hip band is holding it against his body, but the head is peeking out toward his left side and leg.
“Sorry,” Dean mumbles, his cheeks flushed again. Okay, so maybe he wasn't as okay with his dick joining the party as he'd told himself.
Charlie stands up straight, looks him in the eye. “Dee, it's part of your body. I know you'd rather have a pussy, but until you decide different, it's part of you, and it's not bothering me, so chill out, okay?”
Dean gives Charlie a dorky grin. “Okay.”
“Good, now that looks hot! You're totally keeping those!” Charlie says as he spins for her.
Dean chuckles. “You would tell me if you didn't like something, right?” he asks, wondering if she's just trying to build him up about the whole thing.
She looks at him with a 'well duh' look on her face. “Of course!” she says. “But I'm pretty sure most of this stuff's going to look amazing on you, so suck it up and put this on,” she says as she hands him a silky white teddy with little pink polka dots.
Dean takes it from her, then can't help but shiver again. It's just so soft and silky. He wants to fully experience this one, so he slides it slowly over his head, lets it fall gently over his chest and stomach. Charlie had purposely picked out a teddy that was more flowing and silky versus fitting so his lack of breasts wouldn't be painfully obvious.
“Oh, Dee, it's so pretty!” Charlie coos as she fixes the straps on his shoulders.
It falls to just below his panties, and everywhere it touches he feels all tingly. Dean is just about to start feeling himself up when Charlie leans in and rubs her cheek against his chest. His breath stutters, but he tries to hold still. She wraps her arms around his waist and tickles his back with her fingers through the teddy.
“I bet if you were to bend over, your panties would look so gorgeous peeking out from under this,” Charlie says.
Dean swallows a moan and tries his best to stay still even though he can feel Charlie's breath ghosting across the fabric on his chest.
“Do it,” she says suddenly as she pulls away from him. She does a spinning motion with her index finger. “Turn around and bend over a little.”
Dean blushes again. At this rate, his cheeks are just going to give up and remain red for the rest of his life. He huffs at her.
“C'mon, I want to see your panties,” Charlie whines.
Dean lets out a nervous chuckle, but he turns around and bends over a little. His cheeks feel like they're on fire.
“Hell, yeah!” Charlie yells from behind him.
Dean flinches at her outburst, so nervous that he's on edge. Charlie doesn't seem to notice, or maybe she's just trying to make him realize all of this is okay and to stop being such a big baby about it. Dean yelps as Charlie smacks his right ass cheek.
“Gorgeous! You're keeping these too,” she declares.
Dean quickly stands back up and turns around. “Your turn,” he says, then picks his way through one of the bags he'd carried in.
He picks out a green lace thong for her, knowing the outfit will look beautiful with her hair and skin tone. As Charlie puts the panties on, Dean grabs the top. It's the same green as the panties, but is sheer fabric instead of lace. It fits like a bikini top, the sheer fabric falling from the bottom of the bra to just above the top of the panties. The spaghetti straps and stitching are a slightly darker green and accent the rest of the fabric.
She puts the top on and she wriggles around a little, getting a feel for it. “This one isn't as comfortable as the other ones. I might take this one back,” Charlie complains.
“No!” Dean blurts. “It's fucking amazing. Even if you don't wear it all the time, you've got to keep it to impress a date.” He doesn't say he'd like if she kept it for him even if that's what he means.
“Really?” Charlie says as she looks down at herself.
“Really. The green is perfect on you, and the whole thing is...,” he trails off, mostly because he's trying to think of how best to describe just how hot it is. “It's very feminine and flattering,” he finishes, surprised when he's able to speak coherently.
Charlie giggles. “Okay, well, since you say I have to keep them, then I guess I have to keep them,” she says with a big smile.
“I do insist,” Dean says, nodding exaggeratedly.
Charlie's stomach growls and the two of them laugh. “I'm hungry, if you hadn't noticed,” she says without any embarrassment. “All this trying on clothes has got me starving! How about you throw all this stuff back in the bags, get comfortable on the bed with my laptop, and find a movie to watch while I grab something for us to eat.”
“Okay, dinner and a movie sounds good,” Dean says, then freezes as he wonders if he stepped over the line.
Dean watches as Charlie takes off her top, tosses it on the bed, then puts her shirt back on without a bra. She wriggles into her jeans, then waves to him as she leaves.
He's relieved she didn't freak over his dinner and a movie comment. But now Dean doesn't know what to do with himself. Charlie's been great about this whole thing so far, and he doesn't want to fuck it all up. Does he change what he's wearing? Does he pick out his favorite pieces from what they just bought and wear them?
He really wants to wear the boy shorts and the matching top. They were so soft and comfortable. He makes a decision and shoves the panties and tops from the bed back into the bags, leaving the ones he really wants to wear out, slipping into them after he takes off the teddy and lacy panties.
Dean settles onto the bed with Charlie's laptop, feeling only slightly awkward, but it's enough awkwardness that his dick is finally softening, which he's completely relieved about.
Charlie had told him her password, so he gets into the OS, opens her browser, finds her bookmarks for movie and TV, and picks out an action flick. Then he wonders if Charlie is into shit like that. He ends up second guessing himself over and over with the movie genres until Charlie walks in.
“I knew you liked that set!” she says as she smiles at him, pointing at the panties.
He looks down at his chest, then back up at Charlie with a grin. “Yeah, they feel really good, and they're also the best at holding in the junk,” he says with a chuckle.
Charlie laughs as she hops onto the bed, then spreads out the food. Dean is surprised by what she's picked. He so used to girls not eating much around him or picking things that look like healthy choices.
She brought ham, cheese, and bread to make sandwiches, a bag of chips, a six-pack of soda, and a bag of bite-sized candy bars.
Dean likes it when a girl doesn't try too hard. He's never had one eat like this in front of him, but he's already excited about not only how good everything looks to him, but also he really likes that Charlie must feel comfortable enough around him to eat like this.
It may put him in the Friends Zone, but he reminds himself that he'll take what he can get, and if this is all he gets of Charlie, he'll take it.
“I want a horror movie,” Charlie drawls as she looks at her laptop, waving her hand at the page he's on like she wants it to go away.
Dean had been in the romantic comedy section, having second guessed himself right out of action, horror, comedies, and independent movie categories.
She looks at him. “Or at the very least something with lots of explosions and guns and violence,” Charlie says with a grin, then waggles her eyebrows at him.
Dean settles back against the head of the bed. He could definitely get used to this.
- - -
If Sam had noticed Dean and Charlie were spending a lot of time together, he hadn't said anything. Dean was kind of freaking out over what to say to Sam if Sam asked or mentioned anything about their relationship or whatever.
Charlie had said he didn't have to tell Sam anything if he didn't want to, but the way it always worked out with them, Sam would be figuring out something was up soon. Keeping secrets never worked out well between them, and the only thing he'd ever successfully kept from Sam had been his gender issues.
He knew he had to say something, and the fact that Sam was still sticking around after everything they'd both done over the years, well, it eased Dean's nerves just a bit. He still felt like his throat was going to spontaneously close off and suffocate him, but he supposed that's better than feeling like he's going to flop over dead of a heart attack.
Sam had been too tired the other night to notice Dean's fingernails had been painted green, and Dean had hid his fingers discretely in his jeans pockets. Charlie had shown off her own painted nails to Sam, but she hadn't said it was Dean who'd painted them for her, and she didn't say anything about Dean's own nails, for which he thanked her later. She gave him her 'duh' face and smacked his arm, then asked if he wanted to go for a walk because she was bored.
Dean was wearing his new wardrobe of panties all the time now. They felt great under his clothes, and he felt a little more like he was becoming what he'd always been meant to be. His dick wasn't even bothering him so much anymore with all of Charlie's encouraging words about being accepting of his body and that it didn't have to define him.
Charlie was a huge help. She was accepting of his feelings on the matter, not pushing when he needed her to back off and being very supportive whenever he wanted to try something new. She gave him advice on things, let him know what she had done and would do in situations, and she listened every time he had questions or concerns or when he just wanted to ramble on for a while.
Dean hadn't meant to, but he'd fallen for Charlie completely. It made him sick to his stomach to think about it, because he knew he was just setting himself up for a world of hurt, but he couldn't help it. She was amazing. Sure, she wasn't flawless, but he could more than handle those flaws, and she sure as hell could handle his.
He hadn't said anything to her about how he felt. He didn't want to ruin what they had. He didn't want to make her feel awkward around him. So he sucked it up. He could do this. She was a great friend, and he'd take what he could get.
- - -
“Sam,” Dean says as they're sitting at the table. Dean thinks he might die. His pulse is racing, his throat is dry, and his palms are sweaty.
He really wants to do this, but he's scared of what could happen. He doesn't want to lose Sam, of course, and he really doesn't think he will over this. What he does see happening in his mind's eye, though, is Sam having a hard time accepting this and the whole thing affecting their relationship.
“Yeah?” Sam replies, not looking up from the book he has spread out on the table.
Dean turns to Charlie, and she gives him a reassuring smile and a nod. They'd talked about it, and she'd offered to be there for him while he and Sam had The Talk if Dean wanted. He did want her to be there.
“Sammy?” Dean says, then waits.
Sam's not ignoring him really, just half listening like they do when they're saying something not horribly important. Pausing like this will let Sam know there's something serious to talk about and he needs Sam's full attention.
Sam looks up from his book, noticing both Dean and Charlie are there. “What's up, guys?” he asks as he pushes the book away from him.
“I want to tell you something,” Dean says, his voice cracking on the last word. He clears his throat, wonders if that heart attack will strike at any moment now.
“Are you okay?” Sam asks, concerned look on his face, straightening up in his seat a little.
“Yeah, yeah, I'm okay,” Dean tells him with a nervous smile. “I just want... I need to tell you something, and I'm, I don't know how you're going to react, so I just –,” Dean starts, but then trails off.
Sam's eyes widen, and he's starting to looked spooked. “You're scaring me, here, Dean. Just blurt it out, dude,” he says.
Dean winces, takes a deep breath. “Okay, so I-I've never felt like I've been in the right body,” Dean starts, then plows on ahead since he's already said this much. “I feel like I should've been born a girl, and Charlie is, well, Charlie has been helping me work this out, but I just wanted you to know because you're my brother and we've learned time and time again that secrets don't work out well for us.”
Dean keeps eye contact with his brother, but it's hard. His chest is burning, and he realizes he's holding his breath. He wants to say he was just kidding and run off to his room. Especially when he sees that Sam's getting mad. Scratch that. Sam's getting pissed off.
“You –,” Sam starts, but cuts himself off as he sighs and looks down at the table. When he looks back up at Dean, Sam's furious. “I can't believe you'd do that. You want to get in Charlie's pants so bad that you fake an 'I'm a chick stuck in a dude's body' because she's a lesbian? That's low, Dean. That's just amazingly low,” Sam says with disgust.
Dean's world takes a jump to the left and his stomach doesn't like it one bit. His mouth is hanging open, but nothing's coming out. It would have hurt less had his brother stabbed him in the back with an actual knife. A dull one.
Dean gets up and hurriedly goes to his room. He's got tunnel vision, and when he slams his door, he can't hear anything but the rushing in his own ears. He feels his eyes burning, but he's so upset he doesn't even think he can cry.
He doesn't want to break something. He doesn't want to fling himself onto his bed and smother his face in a pillow. He doesn't know what he wants, but he knows it isn't pacing back and forth with his hands clenched into fists, but it's what he's doing anyway.
He knows Charlie will come to see if he's okay eventually, but he doesn't even know if he wants to talk to her about this. He won't turn her down if she wants in, but he's in pain, and he wants to calm down. He wants to take the last few minutes of his life back. He should get a redo on this.
It seems like forever that all he hears is the rushing in his ears, but he finally hears Sam talking to him through the door. Dean hadn't locked the door, but he figures Sam is giving him at least the dignity that the closed door allows him.
“Dean, I'm so sorry,” Sam yells through the door. “That was amazingly stupid of me, and I'm really sorry. Please open the door.”
“No,” Dean yells. Sure, it's childish to want to hide, but that had hurt, damn it.
“Dean, I swear I thought you were being an asshole, and I really am sorry,” Sam says, sounding genuinely sorry. “It wasn't until I saw your face that I realized I was the one being an asshole. You really meant what you said, didn't you,” Sam says rather than asks.
Dean doesn't respond. His throat feels tight, and he just wants Sam to leave him alone. He was so stupid for thinking his brother would handle this well. Sam may have accepted a lot of things, but maybe he was more like John than even Dean had even thought he was.
Sam sounds as if he's got his face shoved into the space where the doorjamb and door meet. “I should know you better than that by now, and it was just a knee-jerk reaction,” Sam says through the door. “After I said what I said, as soon as I saw the look on your face, I knew you were trying to tell me the truth, and Dean, I am so sorry. I can't tell you how sorry I am. You were trying to tell me something you've felt since you were a kid, and I threw it in your face because I wasn't thinking straight.”
Dean feels a flare of anger. “I wouldn't do that to Charlie just to get into her pants, Sam,” he yells back at Sam.
Sam sighs. “I know you wouldn't. And if I would've taken a minute to think about it, I wouldn't have ever said that to you,” Sam says, sounding horribly apologetic and like he's already beating himself up over the whole thing.
“Did Charlie threaten to kill you?” Dean asks, almost hoping she did, but at the same time he wants Sam to have come to him on his own.
Sam chuckles. “She didn't have to. As soon as you got up and left I called myself a few choice names and went after you,” he says, sounding very sheepish.
“You deserved whatever names you called yourself, you know,” Dean says, feeling a little mean.
Sam snorts. “I know. I really do. And if you wanna open the door to call me a few more names, that's okay too.”
Dean runs his hand over his face, letting out a big sigh. “The door's open, bitch,” he says.
“Yeah,” Sam drawls, “but can I come in?”
“Yeah,” Dean replies, turning toward the door.
Sam opens the door and shuffles into the doorway. He looks as if he's just kicked a whole box of puppies. He's got his arms out to the side. “I'm sorry,” he says with a wince.
“So you've said,” Dean says, still feeling a bit mean, but he's warming up to Sam's apologies.
Sam looks at the floor, then back up at Dean. He says, “The only problem I have with this whole thing is that you felt you couldn't come to me about this before, and that's probably because you expected something like what just happened, but I mean it, Dean. This doesn't change how I feel about you. You're still my brother,” Sam says, then his nose scrunches up adorably as he thinks about what he just said. “Well, I guess that'd be 'you're still my sister,' if that's what you wanted.”
Dean can't stop the laughter that bubbles out of him. And it has the desired effect on Sam, which is to say Sam looks greatly relieved, and a smile works its way onto Sam's face.
Sam shakes his head, the smile falling. “I mean it,” Sam says, serious and sincere face firmly back in place. “I'm totally okay with this, and whatever you want to do about it is fine with me. I don't say it often enough, but I love you, and all I care about is that you're happy.”
Dean rolls his eyes. “Okay, now you're just taking advantage of the situation to have a chick flick moment. Knock it off,” Dean says with about as much affection as he can shove into his words.
“Yeah, I did, didn't I.” Sam chuckles. “But seriously, Dean. Just let me know what you want. If you want to change your name, change your clothes, change your hair. If you want me to start referring to you as she and her, just tell me. I can't say I won't slip up and say the wrong thing, but I want to make whatever transition you want to make go smoothly.”
Dean flashes a genuine smile at his brother. He has an awesome brother. “Thanks, Sam.”
- - -
“Dee, Charlie!” Sam yells through the door.
Dean jerks awake, jostling Charlie, who lifts her head off of his chest and starts rubbing her eyes. “Yeah?” Dean replies in a scratchy voice.
“I made us all breakfast. Come eat,” Sam says.
Dean groans. Yesterday had been a very long day. He and Sam had been teaching Charlie how to use weapons, specifically knives. She learned quickly and was excited about it all, but it still made for a long day, and they were so tired they'd fallen asleep about a quarter of the way through the first movie they started on Charlie's laptop.
“We're coming,” Dean grumbles.
Charlie whines and shoves her face into the space between Dean's chest and the bed, which makes Dean chuckle.
“C'mon, Charlie. Sam's getting really good at cooking, and he likes trying out new stuff. It'll be worth it,” Dean promises.
“Fine,” Charlie growls, then pulls herself out of her Dean cave.
By the time they get to the kitchen, they're both more awake and Dean's stomach is growling. It smells wonderful. Dean and Charlie sit down at the table and grin at each other after getting an eyeful of Sam in an apron, which never fails to amuse the both of them.
“I tried something new, so let me know what you think,” Sam says as he sets down three plates, then takes a seat at the table.
“Ugh, this isn't some sort of veggie shit, is it?” Dean grumbles as he tilts his head to the side, looking for hidden bean sprouts or something else that will jump out and attack him with its vegetable goodness.
Sam chuckles. “Nope. It does have avocados and tomatoes and corn, but those are real eggs. It's extra thin Indian flat bread with a little cheese, corn, black beans, straight up eggs, and the stuff on top is kinda like a sweet salsa,” Sam says as he points out each item. “There's avocado, onions, and tomato in there.”
“It looks wonderful, Sam,” Charlie says as she digs in.
Dean's unsure. There are eggs, and he supposes the cheese does attempt to make up for the lack of bacon, but the whole thing looks too pretty to be awesomely tasty. Dean watches Charlie take a bite and the moan that comes from her makes Dean rethink his initial assessment.
“Sam! This is so good!” Charlie says as she gets another forkful.
Sam turns to Dean and raises an eyebrow. “There. Charlie has taste tested it for anything poisonous. You're free to try it now,” Sam snarks.
“Hmm, we'll see,” Dean says, then takes a bite.
The flavor mix might have seemed a little odd to look at, but once they're in his mouth, Dean thinks it's one of his new favorite breakfasts. He moans almost as loud as Charlie had.
“That's it,” Dean says through his mouthful of food, “we're chaining you to the stove and never letting you leave the kitchen.”
Sam lets out a bark of laughter. “I'm glad you like it,” Sam says with a big smile.
The three of them don't talk for a while as they enjoy their breakfast, but soon Dean notices that Sam's throwing sidelong glances at him, so when he's all but licked his plate clean, he turns to Sam.
“Spit it out,” Dean says.
Sam's eyes widen, and he swallows his last bite. He seems to think about it for a moment, then sighs. “It's a personal question that I have absolutely no business asking, but...,” Sam says with a grimace.
“Go for it,” Dean says.
Sam's mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Then he tries again, seems as if he's thinking carefully about how to say it. “You don't have to answer if you don't want to. And again, this is none of my business,” he says, but Dean's impatient hand motions make Sam smile. “Do you hate the fact that you have a dick? Would you want that to change or are you okay with your body? Did you want to have a sex change when you were a kid? Do you want to now? It's just you'd like to do some things more on the feminine side or, well, because Charlie's been calling you Dee and you get a smile on your face when I call you Dee, and I saw bags in your room from a lingerie store, and I didn't want to pry, but you and Charlie have been spending a lot of time together, and I just don't want to step on toes or offend you, but –.”
Dean starts waving his hands around to stop Sam before he dies of lack of oxygen to the brain from all the babbling. “Dude. Chill,” Dean says.
Sam chuckles, then relaxes. “Sorry.”
Dean turns so that he's facing Sam head on. “When I was a teenager, yes, I wanted to have a sex change operation, but then I researched it. It's still not a very commonplace surgery, but back then it was even less common, and I read about how you can lose sensation in parts or all of your sex organs, and that right there stopped any ideas I had about getting the surgery.”
“Oh, yeah, damn. I guess that would be a big consideration,” Sam says with a look of alarm on his face.
“Hell, yeah,” Dean says with a smile. “And drugs mess with your hormones, which fuck with your sex life, in case you were wondering. Oh, and to answer your question about my dick, I don't hate it in the sense that it's responsible for orgasms, and anything that gives me orgasms is very important in my book,” he says with a grin. “If I was able to, by some sort of miracle or spell or what-the-hell ever, just change over to a female body, complete and as natural as if I was born that way, then yes, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But as far as anything less than that, I'm not going to take the chance that it'll fuck with my sex life.”
“Gotcha,” Sam says as he nods, then looks down at the table as if taking in everything he's just heard.
“Dicks are annoying,” Dean blurts.
Sam laughs hard at that. “I suppose that's true, even though I really, really like mine.”
Dean winces. “They're not pretty, they're messy, they announce your arousal to the world,” Dean lists with a disgusted look on his face, then he grins and waggles his eyebrows, “and they don't taste nearly as good as pussy.”
Charlie giggles and nods enthusiastically. “I concur!”
Sam laughs again. “Your arguments are all valid and completely true.”
“Charlie's helping,” Dean says as he throws a glance at her. Charlie gives him a sweet smile. “Before her, my dick was a necessary annoyance. One that I wouldn't give up, of course, but I was embarrassed and I didn't even like the way I looked in clothes because of it and because of the lack of tits. She's helped me with accepting what I've got even if it's not what I'd like to have or what I think I should've had from the start.”
“Charlie's smart, “ Sam stage whispers. “You should listen to her.”
“I am smart,” Charlie says with a smile and a nod. “You should totally listen to me.”
Sam chuckles, then turns to Dean again. “Thanks for letting me ask awkward questions. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I kinda feel like any information I can get out of you will make it so there's less confusion and room for me saying or doing something monumentally stupid in the future.”
“Not a problem, Sammy. If you do ask something I don't feel like answering, I'll tell you,” Dean says.
“Okay, that seems fair,” Sam says with a relieved look on his face. “Then I have another question.”
“Okay,” Dean says.
“Are you attracted to women or men? It's not because I have a problem with it either way, but I've seen you go after a lot of chicks over the years, and you seem to really, really like chicks, but I also know that just because you feel you should have been born a female, that doesn't mean automatically you'd be a heterosexual female, and your comment before about dicks being ugly and messy gave me some idea of your feelings on the matter, so I... and I'll stop talking now, sorry,” Sam finishes with a blush to his cheeks.
Dean chuckles. His brother is adorable when he's trying to be supportive. “I like women. A lot. And dicks are not something I'm interested in. But it's more than just that. I've never been attracted to a male personality, never gotten along with one other than you, and Cas doesn't count because of the whole angel thing, so yes, I'd definitely say I was a lesbian,” Dean says.
“And no,” Sam says, “I'm not going to say you should just keep your dick if you like women anyway. I'm not a total asshole.”
Charlie laughs. “I knew there was a reason I liked you, Sam Winchester,” she says with a smile.
“Why, thank you, Charlie,” Sam says, beaming at her with dimples in full effect. “And Dean, I just want you to know that you can go as far as you want with all this, and I'm not going to give you a hard time besides some necessary little brother-like teasing. You do what makes you happy.”
Dean feels his eyes burn, his throat gets a little tight, and his breath catches in his chest. “Thanks, Sammy,” he manages to say without crying at his brother.
“Thank you for the wonderful breakfast, Sam,” Charlie says as she gets up and starts gathering the dishes. “Since you made breakfast, I'm doing the dishes, then you guys can teach me how to use an easily-concealed knife.”
“You got it,” Dean says as he gets up from the table. “I'll go pick out a few knives. Sam, can you get the floor mats set out?”
“Yup,” Sam says as he gets up, “and thanks for doing the dishes.”
“No problem,” Charlie says, already filling the sink with soapy water.
- - -
“I'm sorry! Fuck!” Dean yells as he pulls away from Charlie. “I'm really sorry!” he says as he sits on the mat, panting and berating himself internally.
Charlie rolls into a sitting position and sighs. “Dee, it's okay. We're wrestling all over the ground, you're getting stimulated, adrenaline's pumping, and I really don't mind,” she says sincerely.
Sam stays quiet where he sits against the wall, cleaning the guns and discretely watching them.
“I fucking hate it,” Dean growls. “And why aren't you more upset about this? You hate dick, and here I am stabbing you with it every time we get close because you're so fucking hot and, oh fuck, I really do want to get in your pants.” Dean shoves his face into his hands.
Charlie huffs indelicately. “If you're going to be a woman, you really need to knock off this stupid shit of listening like a man,” Charlie says.
Dean startles, his hands coming away from his face so he can look at Charlie. He hears Sam snort, but Sam doesn't comment.
“Huh?” Dean asks stupidly.
“All that shit I said about trying to get you to accept the body you're in if physical transitioning isn't what you want to do right now, everything I said about how I care about what's on the inside, about how, hey, isn't it cool that you feel the same way as me about guys versus girls, and, holy shit, Dee, you didn't get it even when I was grabbing your dick to get it positioned in the panties we bought and were trying on together!” Charlie babbles with a shocked look on her face.
Dean hears Sam choke after Charlie's last line, but he's too shocked himself over what Charlie's saying to tease Sam about it. Dean knows it's the first Sam's heard that he and Charlie had tried on lingerie together.
“You didn't get any of this?” Charlie nearly squeals. “You're so stuck on me being a lesbian even though I've been flirting with you almost this whole time and practically screaming in your face that I wished people would look beyond physical bodies to see the real person that you didn't see I was attracted to you as a person, and that I don't give a shit about you having a dick beside the fact that you're upset about it?”
“Uhm, I –,” Dean splutters.
Charlie gets to her hands and knees, crawls over to Dean, then kisses him. Dean's head is swimming, not only because this is really fucking happening, but because he really had been so stuck on Charlie not being into him physically that he'd not even considered it a possibility.
He'd been so stupid. He'd even explained to Sam, with Charlie sitting right there, that Dean himself was attracted to girls, not boys his whole life because he just never connected with male brains and personalities.
Charlie continues to kiss him, probably knowing he's working this all out in his head, though she probably doesn't realize he's having a harder time working through it because Charlie's such a great kisser.
She shoves her tongue into his mouth and he moans. It's been so long since he's had any kind of sexual contact, and being so close to Charlie these past few weeks, trying on lingerie with her, lying in bed and watching movies with her, it's been kind of a slow torture.
Dean lets her control the kiss, and he shivers when she grabs his face with her hands. She's damn near eating him alive, and he loves it. She finally pulls back and looks him in the eye.
He lets out a nervous chuckle and feels his eyes well up with tears. He still feels stupid about this whole thing, but he also feels very grateful that something he's dreamed about, wished for, fantasized about for weeks now is not only a possibility, but it's actually happening.
He thinks about when he first met Charlie, how he felt an attraction even then, but how he'd been careful to keep a bit of distance after finding out she was a lesbian. But he'd still wanted her. And a part of him had wanted her even more knowing that she was a lesbian, because there was a small niggling hope in the back of his mind that she'd be open to his seemingly overwhelming mountain of issues, open to what she was now offering him.
Dean tries to blink away the tears, but instead a few fall down his cheeks. He smiles at Charlie as she wipes them away. Dean glances over to where Sam had been sitting, happy to see Sam has left. His brother is awesome.
“You were flirting with me?” Dean asks, scrunching up his nose.
Charlie snorts. “Well, I do tend to be dorky, and I've been accused of being cute whether I'm flirting or not, but yeah, I haven't been blurting out sexual innuendos around Sam, and I certainly haven't tried on lingerie with him,” Charlie says.
Dean chuckles. “See, that's what threw me. I thought the two of you went and got panties in Sasquatch's size and tried them on together. If I would've known it was just for me, I'd have clued in a little faster.”
“Are you done being oblivious now?” Charlie asks sweetly.
“God, I hope so,” Dean says, rolling his eyes.
“Yay!” Charlie squeals as she does a little body wiggle of joy, making Dean chuckle. “And I just want you to know that I'm okay with whatever.”
“Uhm, whatever what?” Dean asks with a raised eyebrow.
Charlie giggles. “Communication; I has it,” she says, then snorts at herself. “What I'm trying to say is that I want you to know as far as a relationship and-slash-or anything sexually you want to do with me, I'm totally up for it.”
Dean sees the excitement on her face, yet he's still not quite sure what all she's offering him. “Okay, now don't hit me or anything, because I really did listen to your little speech about seeing the person within, but, uhm, I do still have a dick,” Dean says, the bridge of his nose scrunched up.
“I'm not going to hit you,” she says, then adds with a leer, “unless you're into that.”
Dean really digs the leer, and his dick twitches at the thought of Charlie finding him leer-worthy. “I might be,” he flirts back.
“Okay, just so we're on the same page, here,” she says, “I really, really like pussy, but when it comes to anything beside a quickie with some hot chick I just met, it's all about brains, personality, sense of humor, and all that other good stuff.”
“Have you ever been with a guy?” Dean asks.
“Yes,” she says.
Dean is shocked. “Okay, I hadn't expected that, especially after your reaction to that guard. You couldn't even flirt with him,” he says, the sentence somehow turning into a question.
“You didn't see the guy,” Charlie says with a frown.
“I thought you just said you don't go by looks so much,” Dean says.
“That's true, but initially there has to be some judging of a book by its cover,” Charlie says, throwing her hands up. “He was definitely totally male. The maleness was just radiating from him like a giant neon sign, and it's an instant turn-off for me.”
“Oh, well, that does make sense, because I'm not really attracted sexually to overly butch lesbians,” Dean says reasonably.
“There you go!” Charlie says with a grin. “The guys that I've been with –,” Charlie starts.
“Guys, plural?” Dean interrupts with a raised eyebrow.
She smacks his arm. “Yes, plural,” she says, faking annoyance. “The guys plural that I've been with have had that same something about them that attracts me to them. One guy was bisexual, and while he really didn't have gender issues about himself, his entire personality and way of life, well, I just meshed well with him. We dated for a while, but it didn't work out, so we went our separate ways.”
“And when you say you were with him...,” Dean prompts.
“I don't have any video or pictures,” Charlie teases him with a really disappointed look and a sympathetic shrug.
“Dork,” Dean says as he chuckles.
“Another guy that I went out with for a while couldn't decide if he wanted to be called he or she,” Charlie says, and Dean notices that Charlie doesn't seem like that idea was odd or an inconvenience, rather she says it like she's telling Dean the weather. “Remmy was just Remmy. He had gotten breast implants a few years before we started dating, which I had fun with,” Charlie says with a lascivious grin, “but he was completely on board with keeping his dick and balls. He dressed in women's clothes sometimes and men's clothes other times. He liked to say he dressed to fit his mood.”
“That's actually refreshingly awesome sounding. Cool that he was that comfortable with himself and you let him do what he felt like doing,” Dean says, feeling chills run down his spine. A big part of him is jealous of Remmy, but another part wonders just how much he would have been like Remmy even if he had thought it would have been acceptable.
“It would've been really selfish of me to try and keep him from doing what he felt like doing,” Charlie says. “The thought never occurred to me. Remmy was one of the happiest people I've ever met, and I hope he never lets anybody make him feel like he can't be who he wants to be.”
Dean's eyes burn again, but he blinks away the emotion. What's done is done, and even though he let others dictate how he should live before, Charlie and Sam being so great about all this was opening up so many new options to Dean, and he was very grateful.
“I've been with a few more guys than that, but I just thought you might like to hear how much I don't have a problem with you or what you want out of life,” Charlie says with a little smile that makes her eyes look so very warm and welcoming, drawing Dean in.
Dean winces. “After seeing how well you've taken this, and after seeing how well Sam's doing with it after that first knee jerk reaction and misunderstanding, I think I'm probably going to be the one that has more difficulty with this.”
Charlie grabs both sides of Dean's neck with her hands, pulls him in for a quick but firm kiss, then pulls back to look him in the eye. “Sam and I have talked about it,” Charlie says.
Just as Dean tenses, he sees the look in Charlie's eyes, one that tells him she knows he's upset they talked about him when he wasn't there, but to just hear her out, calm down, so he does, nodding at her, and she gives him a little smile when she feels him relax.
“Sam loves you so much,” Charlie starts.
Dean feels his breath catch in his chest. Not that he didn't know his brother loves him, but the conviction Charlie has when she says it takes Dean's breath away, like Sam's love for him was so significant and noteworthy that Charlie was moved.
“He wants you to be happy. That's all he's ever wanted when he hasn't had his head up his own ass, which admittedly has been fairly often,” Charlie says with a chuckle.
Dean snorts. Yeah, that sounds like something Sam would say, and it's completely true. Dean has always loved Sam, even when he knew Sam had his head up his ass, and even when it hurt to love Sam.
“He's a little hurt that you didn't say something to him over the years, especially given how close you guys are,” Charlie says.
When Dean opens his mouth to speak, Charlie puts a finger over his lips. He huffs, but he doesn't speak, so she takes her finger away.
“He knows it's a big thing,” Charlie says, “and he knows that your dad probably wasn't the type to handle it well. But I think you should talk it out with Sam because he's got it in his head that he gave off anti-tolerance vibes over the years or said things that made you think you couldn't tell him about something so significant in your life. I told him I wasn't sure because I didn't grow up with you guys. Take time if you need it to think about it, but I really think you should talk with him about it.”
Dean nods. “I will. And thanks for talking to him.”
Charlie smiles. “You should totally thank me, and you should definitely show me your appreciation in fun and interesting ways,” Charlie says with an eyebrow waggle.
Dean chuckles. “I can so do that,” he says as he laces his fingers through Charlie's, holding her hand.
“I'm sure Sam will tell you in more detail, but he's more open to things like this than I think you knew,” Charlie says.
“I know Sam well enough that I have no problem believing you,” Dean says, “but I was purposely blind about it because I was too scared he'd not be okay with it.”
“He understands that you'd be scared. Just talk to him,” Charlie says again.
“Yes, ma'am,” Dean says.
“Mmm, “ma'am.” I think I like that,” Charlie says with a shiver.
Dean feels his dick twitch again at Charlie's reaction. Now that he knows Charlie's okay with all of this and is on board, Dean doesn't have to hide how he feels about her. It feels great to be able to flush with arousal and not worry she's going to be offended or upset.
“And as far as me,” she says with a grin as she grabs him by the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to her, their noses inches apart. “I want to do lots of fun stuff with you.”
“Mmm,” Dean moans as his eyes fall closed.
“I get the feeling you like a sexually aggressive woman, even though from what I gather, your previous long-ish-term girlfriends weren't all that aggressive,” Charlie says, then licks his lips.
Dean gasps at the tease of her tongue. “You heard that from Sam, right? The thing about the girls I liked being submissive and pushovers?” then leans in to kiss Charlie.
Charlie pulls back suddenly, leaving Dean questing after her lips. “Sam's wrong?” she asks with a grin.
Dean whines at the missed opportunity to kiss Charlie, then leans in anyway and kisses the side of her mouth. “Sam saw both Cassie and Lisa in situations where they were scared for their lives and their families. Neither of them backed down or ran away from those situations, but Sam saw them at their least confident.”
Charlie grins. “I see,” she drawls. “That works perfectly with all my evil plans for what I intend to do to you,” Charlie says, then lets out an evil overlord laugh that both impresses Dean and makes him laugh along with her.
Dean ducks his head, then looks up at Charlie. “I can get aggressive, and I like making my partner very happy in bed, but yeah, I like a woman who knows what she wants and takes it.”
Charlie dives down and kisses Dean with a fierceness that makes him groan into the kiss. She wraps one hand around the back of his neck, the other around his back as she climbs into his lap and opens his mouth with her tongue.
Dean's hands flutter at Charlie's sides for a moment before he wraps his arms around her. She starts grinding down on his crotch, her breasts rubbing against his chest as it feels like she's trying to get herself off on the friction through their clothes alone.
Charlie moves her right leg to be in between Dean's legs so that she's riding Dean's left upper thigh, then starts grinding down on him, getting herself in a position that must feel great by the way she sticks to that spot and works down hard on him. Dean's getting friction on his dick from how enthusiastically Charlie is grinding on him.
“This all right with you?” Charlie asks, voice breathless and scratchy in a way that makes Dean's whole body tighten in a delicious way.
“Yeah, fuck, yes,” Dean mumbles as he lets his head fall to Charlie's shoulder, licks her neck, then moans as he feels her shudder against him.
“I've been waiting so impatiently for you to catch a clue, Dee,” Charlie gasps, then scratches her nails over Dean's scalp.
The use of this new name Charlie has given him excites him. He could have it. It could be his name. Charlie uses it. Sam uses it, only having slipped a couple of times and called him Dean, then corrected himself without fanfare.
Dean wants it. He wants to be Dee. He wants to have awesome tits. He wants to have a pretty little pussy, but he wants to be what Charlie wants, wants this idea of being what he's hoped for so long, even if it's not complete, not physical.
He'll still be stuck with a dick, but he knows life isn't fair. He learned that long ago. But he can have this. He's happy for this. He's thrilled Charlie was the one to give this to him, that Sam was willing to give this to him.
And she's right here, right in his arms, grinding against him so sweetly it's taking his breath away. She's so lost in arousal that her eyes are falling closed seemingly against her will, because every time it appears she remembers, she opens her beautiful green eyes to watch Dean again. To watch Dee again.
Dean holds Charlie tighter, yanks her against him, and Charlie lets out a squeak. Dean's so hard it hurts, and he's so close to coming he's almost embarrassed.
“You gonna come in your pants for me, Dee?” Charlie whispers in his ear.
Charlie's voice is so sultry, so unbelievably wasted on arousal that Dean whimpers, shoves his face into the space between her neck and shoulder and comes so hard he grits his teeth and growls, “Charlie, fuck, Charlie!”
“Oh, my god, y-you, fuck, you really came in your pants,” Charlie nearly whines, straining against Dean, sounding so desperate, so fucking turned on and damn near mindless. “Dee!” Charlie yelps as she comes, jerking hard against Dean.
Dean holds her firmly, but not so tight as to stop her from moving however she wants to move. Just hard enough that every jerk and wave her body makes goes straight through him. As the waves wash through her, the grinding gets slower, but she's still moving, still using his body as she pants into his hair, nails gripping his shoulders, and Dean hopes they leave marks on his skin.
Charlie finally slows to a stop and drops her weight on Dean, totally spent and enjoying the afterglow. Dean happily holds her up, then realizes there's a mat beneath them, and he doesn't have to do all the work.
Charlie squeaks as Dean lets himself fall backward. She doesn't seem surprised, but more as if it's a squeak of “yes, that was a good idea,” and then she wriggles a little until she's comfortable sprawled all over Dean.
Charlie turns her head so that Dean can feel Charlie's breath ghosting over his right ear and neck. “I made you come in your jeans, Dee,” Charlie says in one of the sexiest afterglow voices Dean's ever heard, like she's completely pleased with herself for having had that effect on Dean.
“Yes, you did,” Dean says with a lazy chuckle.
“'Cuz I'm just that hot, huh?” she asks as she lets her fingers trail over his left nipple and chest.
Dean chuckles again at Charlie's adorableness. “Yes, you're just that hot. And you seemed to find me coming in my pants a turn on, so I'll try not to be embarrassed.”
“Hell, no, don't be embarrassed,” Charlie groans as she tweaks his nipple as if in punishment for ever having considered being embarrassed. “Are you embarrassed when a girl comes just from getting fingered before your tongue or anything else ever even touches her?”
“Mmm, no,” Dean admits, his eyes falling closed.
“So imagine how sexy I feel having made you get those pretty panties all dirty with your spunk,” she whispers in his ear.
“Oh, fuck,” Dean groans at the dirty talk. He hadn't forgotten he was wearing a pair of pink polka dot panties with a little pink bow at the front. It seems Charlie hadn't forgotten either.
“I plan on sharing many, many more orgasms with you,” Charlie mumbles as she snuggles into Dean as if she's going to fall asleep right here on the mat. “That all right with you?”
“I have no problem with that plan,” Dean says, caring less and less that he's lying on a mat and not in bed.
- - -
Next: Part 3
-
Part 2
Two and a half hours later and three bags full of lingerie later, Charlie and Dean get back to the bunker and sneak to Dean's room. Dean still isn't comfortable with Sam knowing about any of this, and Charlie has reassured him multiple times that it's okay, that he may never feel comfortable enough to tell Sam, but it's his choice.
There's something new with Charlie too. Walking into the lingerie store was a turning point in Charlie's speech patterns. Dean hopes she won't say anything like this around Sam, and Dean figures Charlie won't because she's just that cool about it all, but Charlie has been calling him Dee and has made a couple of comments about “how pretty this will look on you” and even offhandedly commented when Dean picked up a green tank top, “She knows what'll go with her beautiful green eyes!” to no one in particular, but it made Dean smile.
Dean's not sure if he's ready for Sam to hear things like this. But it's growing on him, and the first few times Charlie called him Dee, he felt a thrill go through his body. And the way Charlie says Dee sounds so natural, like a shortening of his name and one that can be taken as just that instead of a feminizing of his name means that Dean doesn't really have to worry about it even in front of Sam. Charlie is so... Charlie.
And if she called him Dee in front of Sam, Sam might tease him a bit for it, but only because it's so adorable, and Sam would just have to because he's Dean's brother. Brothers have to tease. It's in the sibling handbook.
Whatever it is Charlie's doing, Dean's warming up to the idea quickly. It feels good down to his core. Charlie is more than accepting. She's more than helping him. And he's more than just falling in love with her a little bit.
“Try them on! Try them on!” Charlie squeals as Dean closes his bedroom door behind them.
He turns around and nearly falls over his own two feet as he sees Charlie pulling her shirt off. His mouth drops open and he flat out stares at her.
She looks at him over her shoulder. “Clothes! Off! We couldn't try them on in the store, so you have to now! I wanna see!” she demands.
She has so much excitement in her voice that it stops Dean from staring, but then he hesitates when he realizes she means he should strip right here, right now. Not that he minds getting naked in front of a chick, but usually there's sex involved.
“Clothes! C'mon!” Charlie says as she looks over her shoulder again. She unhooks her plain black bra and flings it into the corner of the room.
He knows she knows he's hesitating, that he's not sure what to do. And he knows she's purposely trying to lighten the mood to get him to just forget about his reservations and just go for it. So that's what he does. His boots go first, then his shirt.
By the time he's undoing his belt, Charlie's completely naked, and he tries not to stare at her adorably perfect ass, tries to work at getting his clothes off, but it's hard.
And speaking of hard.
Dean freezes. He can't take his pants off now. He wouldn't even get away with hiding it if Charlie were to turn around right now.
He grumbles to himself. Dicks are so inconvenient. He shouldn't have to deal with this. Dicks are ugly, messy, and there's no way in hell to hide it if you're aroused. It's like dicks have a mind of their own and want everyone else to know what's going on.
Pussy is perfect, in Dean's opinion, and not for the first time he wishes he had one. They're so pretty and soft, and even when they do get messy, it just makes them more fun to lick and suck. But he has a dick, and he wishes he had a bag of ice to shove down his pants to get rid of the growing inconvenience.
“Nobody's in complete control of their bodies,” Charlie sing-songs loudly. “I'm not going to run away screaming just because you're hard.”
Dean blushes hard and lets out a nervous chuckle. “Sorry,” he says, not knowing what to do with his hands.
“Don't be sorry,” she says as she starts pulling their recent purchases out of the bag nearest to her. “I have a cute ass, as I've been told many times, and it leads to reactions from body parts,” she says as she turns to him, batting her eyelashes.
Dean lets out a bark of laughter, then decides to just do it. He takes a deep breath and just undoes his pants, pulls them off, and gets his socks off. He tries to ignore the semi he's got going on and walks over to the bed, where Charlie has spread out some of their new panties.
She's looking over their choices. “You should probably try these first, at least until your dick calms down a bit and you can fit inside some of the smaller ones,” she says as she holds up a pair of panties that have a little more substance to them than some of the other panties they've bought.
Dean takes the panties from her, and his cock twitches at the idea of putting them on. Charlie had picked these panties for him. They're light blue cotton boy shorts with bright pink trim around the waist and the same bright pink around the legs in lace. They're simple, and Dean had expected Charlie to go with thongs and more revealing panties, but he figured she knew what she was doing. He wasn't complaining.
He's momentarily distracted, getting his first fairly good glimpse of Charlie's pussy. From what he can see, Charlie's got just a little tuft of dark red hair at the top of her pussy, and the rest looks like it's either shaved or waxed. He tries not to stare, closes his eyes a moment to stop himself, then remembers the panties in his hand.
Dean pulls them on, not really knowing what to do with his very hard cock once he gets the panties up, and he yelps when Charlie just grabs his dick, holds it against his pelvic area to the left, and pulls the panties up around it, letting the waist snap up against his lower belly, the panties bulging out obscenely around his dick, but still managing to covering it.
“Mmm, very nice!” Charlie says, nearly growling and clearly checking him out. “Turn around, sexy,” she says with a twirl of her fingers.
Dean does as he's told, feeling only slightly ridiculous until he finally notices how nice the panties feel. They're the perfect size. Charlie had done a great job with picking them. Dean shivers when he feels Charlie's finger run over the lace, and it's then that he realizes the back side of the leg holes curve up a bit, leaving his lower ass cheeks outside the panties.
“Your ass looks amazing in these,” Charlie informs him, practically leering.
He does feel sexy. He feels soft and warm at the same time. He feels right. Even though his dick is hard, he's never been in a situation where he's wearing panties with someone else right there and it's not a sexual thing. He kind of wishes it was sexual, but at the same time it's nice to share this with Charlie. He'll take her however he can get her, and this right here is fun, and it'll have to be enough.
“Put on the tank top,” Charlie says, holding the matching top out to him.
He slides it on, loving how it molds perfectly to his upper body. The straps are about half an inch wide and bright pink, just like the trim on the boy shorts. The body of the top is the same light blue as the boy shorts, and the cotton is very soft.
“That. Is. Hot,” Charlie breathes as she stands back and checks him out from top to bottom and back up again. “How does it feel?” she asks as she looks up at him expectantly.
Dean runs his fingers gently over the top, making himself shiver. “Awesome!” Dean says with a big smile.
“My turn!” Charlie says as she grabs a pair of panties in her size from the pile.
She pulls them up and does a little spin so Dean can see how they look. They're sheer white with half-inch, white elastic bands at the legs and waist, the sheer fabric ruffled at the edges. They hug her body just right, and the little green bow below her belly button finishes the look. Dean moans loudly, nearly drooling.
“I take it that's a yes on keeping them,” Charlie says with a giggle, then picks up the matching bra. She gets the bra on and then strikes a pose for Dean. “Well?”
He can see her nipples through the fabric, and even though he'd just seen her nipples without anything obstructing them, now he really wants to lick them through the fabric, but he controls himself, motions for her to spin around for him, then nods as she does a spin.
“They accentuate the shape of your hips. Very nice,” he drawls.
She smiles at him. “And you can see my nipples,” she stage whispers at him.
Dean chokes out a laugh. “Yes. Yes, you can,” he says, his eyes roving over her breasts.
“Okay, get them off. We have a bunch more to try on!” Charlie says as she unhooks her bra and tosses it on the bed.
Charlie pulls on a pair of yellow-trimmed Batman underoos, then the matching tank top. The fabric is thin cotton, and Dean wants to mouth over the Batman symbol that's resting just above her pussy.
“Less drooling, more changing!” Charlie insists as she bounces on her toes, her tits bouncing along with her.
Dean gets lost watching her breasts bounce in his face, so Charlie grabs a pair of black lace tanga panties and tosses them at Dean.
“Your dick is never going to calm down if you keep getting all excited,” Charlie teases with a smile.
Dean chuckles. Charlie doesn't seem to give a damn that his dick is standing at attention, so he relaxes a little. He'd rather it either calm down or even just turn into a pretty little pussy, but if Charlie's okay with it, he can chill out about it.
He holds the panties in between the fingers of his left hand as he pulls off the boy shorts and tank he's wearing, then pulls the tanga panties on. Again they're a perfect fit other than his hard dick, and again Dean is a little confused as to what he should do with said dick.
“Here, let me get this for you,” Charlie says, and before Dean can protest, she grabs his dick again and positions it so the left hip band is holding it against his body, but the head is peeking out toward his left side and leg.
“Sorry,” Dean mumbles, his cheeks flushed again. Okay, so maybe he wasn't as okay with his dick joining the party as he'd told himself.
Charlie stands up straight, looks him in the eye. “Dee, it's part of your body. I know you'd rather have a pussy, but until you decide different, it's part of you, and it's not bothering me, so chill out, okay?”
Dean gives Charlie a dorky grin. “Okay.”
“Good, now that looks hot! You're totally keeping those!” Charlie says as he spins for her.
Dean chuckles. “You would tell me if you didn't like something, right?” he asks, wondering if she's just trying to build him up about the whole thing.
She looks at him with a 'well duh' look on her face. “Of course!” she says. “But I'm pretty sure most of this stuff's going to look amazing on you, so suck it up and put this on,” she says as she hands him a silky white teddy with little pink polka dots.
Dean takes it from her, then can't help but shiver again. It's just so soft and silky. He wants to fully experience this one, so he slides it slowly over his head, lets it fall gently over his chest and stomach. Charlie had purposely picked out a teddy that was more flowing and silky versus fitting so his lack of breasts wouldn't be painfully obvious.
“Oh, Dee, it's so pretty!” Charlie coos as she fixes the straps on his shoulders.
It falls to just below his panties, and everywhere it touches he feels all tingly. Dean is just about to start feeling himself up when Charlie leans in and rubs her cheek against his chest. His breath stutters, but he tries to hold still. She wraps her arms around his waist and tickles his back with her fingers through the teddy.
“I bet if you were to bend over, your panties would look so gorgeous peeking out from under this,” Charlie says.
Dean swallows a moan and tries his best to stay still even though he can feel Charlie's breath ghosting across the fabric on his chest.
“Do it,” she says suddenly as she pulls away from him. She does a spinning motion with her index finger. “Turn around and bend over a little.”
Dean blushes again. At this rate, his cheeks are just going to give up and remain red for the rest of his life. He huffs at her.
“C'mon, I want to see your panties,” Charlie whines.
Dean lets out a nervous chuckle, but he turns around and bends over a little. His cheeks feel like they're on fire.
“Hell, yeah!” Charlie yells from behind him.
Dean flinches at her outburst, so nervous that he's on edge. Charlie doesn't seem to notice, or maybe she's just trying to make him realize all of this is okay and to stop being such a big baby about it. Dean yelps as Charlie smacks his right ass cheek.
“Gorgeous! You're keeping these too,” she declares.
Dean quickly stands back up and turns around. “Your turn,” he says, then picks his way through one of the bags he'd carried in.
He picks out a green lace thong for her, knowing the outfit will look beautiful with her hair and skin tone. As Charlie puts the panties on, Dean grabs the top. It's the same green as the panties, but is sheer fabric instead of lace. It fits like a bikini top, the sheer fabric falling from the bottom of the bra to just above the top of the panties. The spaghetti straps and stitching are a slightly darker green and accent the rest of the fabric.
She puts the top on and she wriggles around a little, getting a feel for it. “This one isn't as comfortable as the other ones. I might take this one back,” Charlie complains.
“No!” Dean blurts. “It's fucking amazing. Even if you don't wear it all the time, you've got to keep it to impress a date.” He doesn't say he'd like if she kept it for him even if that's what he means.
“Really?” Charlie says as she looks down at herself.
“Really. The green is perfect on you, and the whole thing is...,” he trails off, mostly because he's trying to think of how best to describe just how hot it is. “It's very feminine and flattering,” he finishes, surprised when he's able to speak coherently.
Charlie giggles. “Okay, well, since you say I have to keep them, then I guess I have to keep them,” she says with a big smile.
“I do insist,” Dean says, nodding exaggeratedly.
Charlie's stomach growls and the two of them laugh. “I'm hungry, if you hadn't noticed,” she says without any embarrassment. “All this trying on clothes has got me starving! How about you throw all this stuff back in the bags, get comfortable on the bed with my laptop, and find a movie to watch while I grab something for us to eat.”
“Okay, dinner and a movie sounds good,” Dean says, then freezes as he wonders if he stepped over the line.
Dean watches as Charlie takes off her top, tosses it on the bed, then puts her shirt back on without a bra. She wriggles into her jeans, then waves to him as she leaves.
He's relieved she didn't freak over his dinner and a movie comment. But now Dean doesn't know what to do with himself. Charlie's been great about this whole thing so far, and he doesn't want to fuck it all up. Does he change what he's wearing? Does he pick out his favorite pieces from what they just bought and wear them?
He really wants to wear the boy shorts and the matching top. They were so soft and comfortable. He makes a decision and shoves the panties and tops from the bed back into the bags, leaving the ones he really wants to wear out, slipping into them after he takes off the teddy and lacy panties.
Dean settles onto the bed with Charlie's laptop, feeling only slightly awkward, but it's enough awkwardness that his dick is finally softening, which he's completely relieved about.
Charlie had told him her password, so he gets into the OS, opens her browser, finds her bookmarks for movie and TV, and picks out an action flick. Then he wonders if Charlie is into shit like that. He ends up second guessing himself over and over with the movie genres until Charlie walks in.
“I knew you liked that set!” she says as she smiles at him, pointing at the panties.
He looks down at his chest, then back up at Charlie with a grin. “Yeah, they feel really good, and they're also the best at holding in the junk,” he says with a chuckle.
Charlie laughs as she hops onto the bed, then spreads out the food. Dean is surprised by what she's picked. He so used to girls not eating much around him or picking things that look like healthy choices.
She brought ham, cheese, and bread to make sandwiches, a bag of chips, a six-pack of soda, and a bag of bite-sized candy bars.
Dean likes it when a girl doesn't try too hard. He's never had one eat like this in front of him, but he's already excited about not only how good everything looks to him, but also he really likes that Charlie must feel comfortable enough around him to eat like this.
It may put him in the Friends Zone, but he reminds himself that he'll take what he can get, and if this is all he gets of Charlie, he'll take it.
“I want a horror movie,” Charlie drawls as she looks at her laptop, waving her hand at the page he's on like she wants it to go away.
Dean had been in the romantic comedy section, having second guessed himself right out of action, horror, comedies, and independent movie categories.
She looks at him. “Or at the very least something with lots of explosions and guns and violence,” Charlie says with a grin, then waggles her eyebrows at him.
Dean settles back against the head of the bed. He could definitely get used to this.
- - -
If Sam had noticed Dean and Charlie were spending a lot of time together, he hadn't said anything. Dean was kind of freaking out over what to say to Sam if Sam asked or mentioned anything about their relationship or whatever.
Charlie had said he didn't have to tell Sam anything if he didn't want to, but the way it always worked out with them, Sam would be figuring out something was up soon. Keeping secrets never worked out well between them, and the only thing he'd ever successfully kept from Sam had been his gender issues.
He knew he had to say something, and the fact that Sam was still sticking around after everything they'd both done over the years, well, it eased Dean's nerves just a bit. He still felt like his throat was going to spontaneously close off and suffocate him, but he supposed that's better than feeling like he's going to flop over dead of a heart attack.
Sam had been too tired the other night to notice Dean's fingernails had been painted green, and Dean had hid his fingers discretely in his jeans pockets. Charlie had shown off her own painted nails to Sam, but she hadn't said it was Dean who'd painted them for her, and she didn't say anything about Dean's own nails, for which he thanked her later. She gave him her 'duh' face and smacked his arm, then asked if he wanted to go for a walk because she was bored.
Dean was wearing his new wardrobe of panties all the time now. They felt great under his clothes, and he felt a little more like he was becoming what he'd always been meant to be. His dick wasn't even bothering him so much anymore with all of Charlie's encouraging words about being accepting of his body and that it didn't have to define him.
Charlie was a huge help. She was accepting of his feelings on the matter, not pushing when he needed her to back off and being very supportive whenever he wanted to try something new. She gave him advice on things, let him know what she had done and would do in situations, and she listened every time he had questions or concerns or when he just wanted to ramble on for a while.
Dean hadn't meant to, but he'd fallen for Charlie completely. It made him sick to his stomach to think about it, because he knew he was just setting himself up for a world of hurt, but he couldn't help it. She was amazing. Sure, she wasn't flawless, but he could more than handle those flaws, and she sure as hell could handle his.
He hadn't said anything to her about how he felt. He didn't want to ruin what they had. He didn't want to make her feel awkward around him. So he sucked it up. He could do this. She was a great friend, and he'd take what he could get.
- - -
“Sam,” Dean says as they're sitting at the table. Dean thinks he might die. His pulse is racing, his throat is dry, and his palms are sweaty.
He really wants to do this, but he's scared of what could happen. He doesn't want to lose Sam, of course, and he really doesn't think he will over this. What he does see happening in his mind's eye, though, is Sam having a hard time accepting this and the whole thing affecting their relationship.
“Yeah?” Sam replies, not looking up from the book he has spread out on the table.
Dean turns to Charlie, and she gives him a reassuring smile and a nod. They'd talked about it, and she'd offered to be there for him while he and Sam had The Talk if Dean wanted. He did want her to be there.
“Sammy?” Dean says, then waits.
Sam's not ignoring him really, just half listening like they do when they're saying something not horribly important. Pausing like this will let Sam know there's something serious to talk about and he needs Sam's full attention.
Sam looks up from his book, noticing both Dean and Charlie are there. “What's up, guys?” he asks as he pushes the book away from him.
“I want to tell you something,” Dean says, his voice cracking on the last word. He clears his throat, wonders if that heart attack will strike at any moment now.
“Are you okay?” Sam asks, concerned look on his face, straightening up in his seat a little.
“Yeah, yeah, I'm okay,” Dean tells him with a nervous smile. “I just want... I need to tell you something, and I'm, I don't know how you're going to react, so I just –,” Dean starts, but then trails off.
Sam's eyes widen, and he's starting to looked spooked. “You're scaring me, here, Dean. Just blurt it out, dude,” he says.
Dean winces, takes a deep breath. “Okay, so I-I've never felt like I've been in the right body,” Dean starts, then plows on ahead since he's already said this much. “I feel like I should've been born a girl, and Charlie is, well, Charlie has been helping me work this out, but I just wanted you to know because you're my brother and we've learned time and time again that secrets don't work out well for us.”
Dean keeps eye contact with his brother, but it's hard. His chest is burning, and he realizes he's holding his breath. He wants to say he was just kidding and run off to his room. Especially when he sees that Sam's getting mad. Scratch that. Sam's getting pissed off.
“You –,” Sam starts, but cuts himself off as he sighs and looks down at the table. When he looks back up at Dean, Sam's furious. “I can't believe you'd do that. You want to get in Charlie's pants so bad that you fake an 'I'm a chick stuck in a dude's body' because she's a lesbian? That's low, Dean. That's just amazingly low,” Sam says with disgust.
Dean's world takes a jump to the left and his stomach doesn't like it one bit. His mouth is hanging open, but nothing's coming out. It would have hurt less had his brother stabbed him in the back with an actual knife. A dull one.
Dean gets up and hurriedly goes to his room. He's got tunnel vision, and when he slams his door, he can't hear anything but the rushing in his own ears. He feels his eyes burning, but he's so upset he doesn't even think he can cry.
He doesn't want to break something. He doesn't want to fling himself onto his bed and smother his face in a pillow. He doesn't know what he wants, but he knows it isn't pacing back and forth with his hands clenched into fists, but it's what he's doing anyway.
He knows Charlie will come to see if he's okay eventually, but he doesn't even know if he wants to talk to her about this. He won't turn her down if she wants in, but he's in pain, and he wants to calm down. He wants to take the last few minutes of his life back. He should get a redo on this.
It seems like forever that all he hears is the rushing in his ears, but he finally hears Sam talking to him through the door. Dean hadn't locked the door, but he figures Sam is giving him at least the dignity that the closed door allows him.
“Dean, I'm so sorry,” Sam yells through the door. “That was amazingly stupid of me, and I'm really sorry. Please open the door.”
“No,” Dean yells. Sure, it's childish to want to hide, but that had hurt, damn it.
“Dean, I swear I thought you were being an asshole, and I really am sorry,” Sam says, sounding genuinely sorry. “It wasn't until I saw your face that I realized I was the one being an asshole. You really meant what you said, didn't you,” Sam says rather than asks.
Dean doesn't respond. His throat feels tight, and he just wants Sam to leave him alone. He was so stupid for thinking his brother would handle this well. Sam may have accepted a lot of things, but maybe he was more like John than even Dean had even thought he was.
Sam sounds as if he's got his face shoved into the space where the doorjamb and door meet. “I should know you better than that by now, and it was just a knee-jerk reaction,” Sam says through the door. “After I said what I said, as soon as I saw the look on your face, I knew you were trying to tell me the truth, and Dean, I am so sorry. I can't tell you how sorry I am. You were trying to tell me something you've felt since you were a kid, and I threw it in your face because I wasn't thinking straight.”
Dean feels a flare of anger. “I wouldn't do that to Charlie just to get into her pants, Sam,” he yells back at Sam.
Sam sighs. “I know you wouldn't. And if I would've taken a minute to think about it, I wouldn't have ever said that to you,” Sam says, sounding horribly apologetic and like he's already beating himself up over the whole thing.
“Did Charlie threaten to kill you?” Dean asks, almost hoping she did, but at the same time he wants Sam to have come to him on his own.
Sam chuckles. “She didn't have to. As soon as you got up and left I called myself a few choice names and went after you,” he says, sounding very sheepish.
“You deserved whatever names you called yourself, you know,” Dean says, feeling a little mean.
Sam snorts. “I know. I really do. And if you wanna open the door to call me a few more names, that's okay too.”
Dean runs his hand over his face, letting out a big sigh. “The door's open, bitch,” he says.
“Yeah,” Sam drawls, “but can I come in?”
“Yeah,” Dean replies, turning toward the door.
Sam opens the door and shuffles into the doorway. He looks as if he's just kicked a whole box of puppies. He's got his arms out to the side. “I'm sorry,” he says with a wince.
“So you've said,” Dean says, still feeling a bit mean, but he's warming up to Sam's apologies.
Sam looks at the floor, then back up at Dean. He says, “The only problem I have with this whole thing is that you felt you couldn't come to me about this before, and that's probably because you expected something like what just happened, but I mean it, Dean. This doesn't change how I feel about you. You're still my brother,” Sam says, then his nose scrunches up adorably as he thinks about what he just said. “Well, I guess that'd be 'you're still my sister,' if that's what you wanted.”
Dean can't stop the laughter that bubbles out of him. And it has the desired effect on Sam, which is to say Sam looks greatly relieved, and a smile works its way onto Sam's face.
Sam shakes his head, the smile falling. “I mean it,” Sam says, serious and sincere face firmly back in place. “I'm totally okay with this, and whatever you want to do about it is fine with me. I don't say it often enough, but I love you, and all I care about is that you're happy.”
Dean rolls his eyes. “Okay, now you're just taking advantage of the situation to have a chick flick moment. Knock it off,” Dean says with about as much affection as he can shove into his words.
“Yeah, I did, didn't I.” Sam chuckles. “But seriously, Dean. Just let me know what you want. If you want to change your name, change your clothes, change your hair. If you want me to start referring to you as she and her, just tell me. I can't say I won't slip up and say the wrong thing, but I want to make whatever transition you want to make go smoothly.”
Dean flashes a genuine smile at his brother. He has an awesome brother. “Thanks, Sam.”
- - -
“Dee, Charlie!” Sam yells through the door.
Dean jerks awake, jostling Charlie, who lifts her head off of his chest and starts rubbing her eyes. “Yeah?” Dean replies in a scratchy voice.
“I made us all breakfast. Come eat,” Sam says.
Dean groans. Yesterday had been a very long day. He and Sam had been teaching Charlie how to use weapons, specifically knives. She learned quickly and was excited about it all, but it still made for a long day, and they were so tired they'd fallen asleep about a quarter of the way through the first movie they started on Charlie's laptop.
“We're coming,” Dean grumbles.
Charlie whines and shoves her face into the space between Dean's chest and the bed, which makes Dean chuckle.
“C'mon, Charlie. Sam's getting really good at cooking, and he likes trying out new stuff. It'll be worth it,” Dean promises.
“Fine,” Charlie growls, then pulls herself out of her Dean cave.
By the time they get to the kitchen, they're both more awake and Dean's stomach is growling. It smells wonderful. Dean and Charlie sit down at the table and grin at each other after getting an eyeful of Sam in an apron, which never fails to amuse the both of them.
“I tried something new, so let me know what you think,” Sam says as he sets down three plates, then takes a seat at the table.
“Ugh, this isn't some sort of veggie shit, is it?” Dean grumbles as he tilts his head to the side, looking for hidden bean sprouts or something else that will jump out and attack him with its vegetable goodness.
Sam chuckles. “Nope. It does have avocados and tomatoes and corn, but those are real eggs. It's extra thin Indian flat bread with a little cheese, corn, black beans, straight up eggs, and the stuff on top is kinda like a sweet salsa,” Sam says as he points out each item. “There's avocado, onions, and tomato in there.”
“It looks wonderful, Sam,” Charlie says as she digs in.
Dean's unsure. There are eggs, and he supposes the cheese does attempt to make up for the lack of bacon, but the whole thing looks too pretty to be awesomely tasty. Dean watches Charlie take a bite and the moan that comes from her makes Dean rethink his initial assessment.
“Sam! This is so good!” Charlie says as she gets another forkful.
Sam turns to Dean and raises an eyebrow. “There. Charlie has taste tested it for anything poisonous. You're free to try it now,” Sam snarks.
“Hmm, we'll see,” Dean says, then takes a bite.
The flavor mix might have seemed a little odd to look at, but once they're in his mouth, Dean thinks it's one of his new favorite breakfasts. He moans almost as loud as Charlie had.
“That's it,” Dean says through his mouthful of food, “we're chaining you to the stove and never letting you leave the kitchen.”
Sam lets out a bark of laughter. “I'm glad you like it,” Sam says with a big smile.
The three of them don't talk for a while as they enjoy their breakfast, but soon Dean notices that Sam's throwing sidelong glances at him, so when he's all but licked his plate clean, he turns to Sam.
“Spit it out,” Dean says.
Sam's eyes widen, and he swallows his last bite. He seems to think about it for a moment, then sighs. “It's a personal question that I have absolutely no business asking, but...,” Sam says with a grimace.
“Go for it,” Dean says.
Sam's mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Then he tries again, seems as if he's thinking carefully about how to say it. “You don't have to answer if you don't want to. And again, this is none of my business,” he says, but Dean's impatient hand motions make Sam smile. “Do you hate the fact that you have a dick? Would you want that to change or are you okay with your body? Did you want to have a sex change when you were a kid? Do you want to now? It's just you'd like to do some things more on the feminine side or, well, because Charlie's been calling you Dee and you get a smile on your face when I call you Dee, and I saw bags in your room from a lingerie store, and I didn't want to pry, but you and Charlie have been spending a lot of time together, and I just don't want to step on toes or offend you, but –.”
Dean starts waving his hands around to stop Sam before he dies of lack of oxygen to the brain from all the babbling. “Dude. Chill,” Dean says.
Sam chuckles, then relaxes. “Sorry.”
Dean turns so that he's facing Sam head on. “When I was a teenager, yes, I wanted to have a sex change operation, but then I researched it. It's still not a very commonplace surgery, but back then it was even less common, and I read about how you can lose sensation in parts or all of your sex organs, and that right there stopped any ideas I had about getting the surgery.”
“Oh, yeah, damn. I guess that would be a big consideration,” Sam says with a look of alarm on his face.
“Hell, yeah,” Dean says with a smile. “And drugs mess with your hormones, which fuck with your sex life, in case you were wondering. Oh, and to answer your question about my dick, I don't hate it in the sense that it's responsible for orgasms, and anything that gives me orgasms is very important in my book,” he says with a grin. “If I was able to, by some sort of miracle or spell or what-the-hell ever, just change over to a female body, complete and as natural as if I was born that way, then yes, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But as far as anything less than that, I'm not going to take the chance that it'll fuck with my sex life.”
“Gotcha,” Sam says as he nods, then looks down at the table as if taking in everything he's just heard.
“Dicks are annoying,” Dean blurts.
Sam laughs hard at that. “I suppose that's true, even though I really, really like mine.”
Dean winces. “They're not pretty, they're messy, they announce your arousal to the world,” Dean lists with a disgusted look on his face, then he grins and waggles his eyebrows, “and they don't taste nearly as good as pussy.”
Charlie giggles and nods enthusiastically. “I concur!”
Sam laughs again. “Your arguments are all valid and completely true.”
“Charlie's helping,” Dean says as he throws a glance at her. Charlie gives him a sweet smile. “Before her, my dick was a necessary annoyance. One that I wouldn't give up, of course, but I was embarrassed and I didn't even like the way I looked in clothes because of it and because of the lack of tits. She's helped me with accepting what I've got even if it's not what I'd like to have or what I think I should've had from the start.”
“Charlie's smart, “ Sam stage whispers. “You should listen to her.”
“I am smart,” Charlie says with a smile and a nod. “You should totally listen to me.”
Sam chuckles, then turns to Dean again. “Thanks for letting me ask awkward questions. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I kinda feel like any information I can get out of you will make it so there's less confusion and room for me saying or doing something monumentally stupid in the future.”
“Not a problem, Sammy. If you do ask something I don't feel like answering, I'll tell you,” Dean says.
“Okay, that seems fair,” Sam says with a relieved look on his face. “Then I have another question.”
“Okay,” Dean says.
“Are you attracted to women or men? It's not because I have a problem with it either way, but I've seen you go after a lot of chicks over the years, and you seem to really, really like chicks, but I also know that just because you feel you should have been born a female, that doesn't mean automatically you'd be a heterosexual female, and your comment before about dicks being ugly and messy gave me some idea of your feelings on the matter, so I... and I'll stop talking now, sorry,” Sam finishes with a blush to his cheeks.
Dean chuckles. His brother is adorable when he's trying to be supportive. “I like women. A lot. And dicks are not something I'm interested in. But it's more than just that. I've never been attracted to a male personality, never gotten along with one other than you, and Cas doesn't count because of the whole angel thing, so yes, I'd definitely say I was a lesbian,” Dean says.
“And no,” Sam says, “I'm not going to say you should just keep your dick if you like women anyway. I'm not a total asshole.”
Charlie laughs. “I knew there was a reason I liked you, Sam Winchester,” she says with a smile.
“Why, thank you, Charlie,” Sam says, beaming at her with dimples in full effect. “And Dean, I just want you to know that you can go as far as you want with all this, and I'm not going to give you a hard time besides some necessary little brother-like teasing. You do what makes you happy.”
Dean feels his eyes burn, his throat gets a little tight, and his breath catches in his chest. “Thanks, Sammy,” he manages to say without crying at his brother.
“Thank you for the wonderful breakfast, Sam,” Charlie says as she gets up and starts gathering the dishes. “Since you made breakfast, I'm doing the dishes, then you guys can teach me how to use an easily-concealed knife.”
“You got it,” Dean says as he gets up from the table. “I'll go pick out a few knives. Sam, can you get the floor mats set out?”
“Yup,” Sam says as he gets up, “and thanks for doing the dishes.”
“No problem,” Charlie says, already filling the sink with soapy water.
- - -
“I'm sorry! Fuck!” Dean yells as he pulls away from Charlie. “I'm really sorry!” he says as he sits on the mat, panting and berating himself internally.
Charlie rolls into a sitting position and sighs. “Dee, it's okay. We're wrestling all over the ground, you're getting stimulated, adrenaline's pumping, and I really don't mind,” she says sincerely.
Sam stays quiet where he sits against the wall, cleaning the guns and discretely watching them.
“I fucking hate it,” Dean growls. “And why aren't you more upset about this? You hate dick, and here I am stabbing you with it every time we get close because you're so fucking hot and, oh fuck, I really do want to get in your pants.” Dean shoves his face into his hands.
Charlie huffs indelicately. “If you're going to be a woman, you really need to knock off this stupid shit of listening like a man,” Charlie says.
Dean startles, his hands coming away from his face so he can look at Charlie. He hears Sam snort, but Sam doesn't comment.
“Huh?” Dean asks stupidly.
“All that shit I said about trying to get you to accept the body you're in if physical transitioning isn't what you want to do right now, everything I said about how I care about what's on the inside, about how, hey, isn't it cool that you feel the same way as me about guys versus girls, and, holy shit, Dee, you didn't get it even when I was grabbing your dick to get it positioned in the panties we bought and were trying on together!” Charlie babbles with a shocked look on her face.
Dean hears Sam choke after Charlie's last line, but he's too shocked himself over what Charlie's saying to tease Sam about it. Dean knows it's the first Sam's heard that he and Charlie had tried on lingerie together.
“You didn't get any of this?” Charlie nearly squeals. “You're so stuck on me being a lesbian even though I've been flirting with you almost this whole time and practically screaming in your face that I wished people would look beyond physical bodies to see the real person that you didn't see I was attracted to you as a person, and that I don't give a shit about you having a dick beside the fact that you're upset about it?”
“Uhm, I –,” Dean splutters.
Charlie gets to her hands and knees, crawls over to Dean, then kisses him. Dean's head is swimming, not only because this is really fucking happening, but because he really had been so stuck on Charlie not being into him physically that he'd not even considered it a possibility.
He'd been so stupid. He'd even explained to Sam, with Charlie sitting right there, that Dean himself was attracted to girls, not boys his whole life because he just never connected with male brains and personalities.
Charlie continues to kiss him, probably knowing he's working this all out in his head, though she probably doesn't realize he's having a harder time working through it because Charlie's such a great kisser.
She shoves her tongue into his mouth and he moans. It's been so long since he's had any kind of sexual contact, and being so close to Charlie these past few weeks, trying on lingerie with her, lying in bed and watching movies with her, it's been kind of a slow torture.
Dean lets her control the kiss, and he shivers when she grabs his face with her hands. She's damn near eating him alive, and he loves it. She finally pulls back and looks him in the eye.
He lets out a nervous chuckle and feels his eyes well up with tears. He still feels stupid about this whole thing, but he also feels very grateful that something he's dreamed about, wished for, fantasized about for weeks now is not only a possibility, but it's actually happening.
He thinks about when he first met Charlie, how he felt an attraction even then, but how he'd been careful to keep a bit of distance after finding out she was a lesbian. But he'd still wanted her. And a part of him had wanted her even more knowing that she was a lesbian, because there was a small niggling hope in the back of his mind that she'd be open to his seemingly overwhelming mountain of issues, open to what she was now offering him.
Dean tries to blink away the tears, but instead a few fall down his cheeks. He smiles at Charlie as she wipes them away. Dean glances over to where Sam had been sitting, happy to see Sam has left. His brother is awesome.
“You were flirting with me?” Dean asks, scrunching up his nose.
Charlie snorts. “Well, I do tend to be dorky, and I've been accused of being cute whether I'm flirting or not, but yeah, I haven't been blurting out sexual innuendos around Sam, and I certainly haven't tried on lingerie with him,” Charlie says.
Dean chuckles. “See, that's what threw me. I thought the two of you went and got panties in Sasquatch's size and tried them on together. If I would've known it was just for me, I'd have clued in a little faster.”
“Are you done being oblivious now?” Charlie asks sweetly.
“God, I hope so,” Dean says, rolling his eyes.
“Yay!” Charlie squeals as she does a little body wiggle of joy, making Dean chuckle. “And I just want you to know that I'm okay with whatever.”
“Uhm, whatever what?” Dean asks with a raised eyebrow.
Charlie giggles. “Communication; I has it,” she says, then snorts at herself. “What I'm trying to say is that I want you to know as far as a relationship and-slash-or anything sexually you want to do with me, I'm totally up for it.”
Dean sees the excitement on her face, yet he's still not quite sure what all she's offering him. “Okay, now don't hit me or anything, because I really did listen to your little speech about seeing the person within, but, uhm, I do still have a dick,” Dean says, the bridge of his nose scrunched up.
“I'm not going to hit you,” she says, then adds with a leer, “unless you're into that.”
Dean really digs the leer, and his dick twitches at the thought of Charlie finding him leer-worthy. “I might be,” he flirts back.
“Okay, just so we're on the same page, here,” she says, “I really, really like pussy, but when it comes to anything beside a quickie with some hot chick I just met, it's all about brains, personality, sense of humor, and all that other good stuff.”
“Have you ever been with a guy?” Dean asks.
“Yes,” she says.
Dean is shocked. “Okay, I hadn't expected that, especially after your reaction to that guard. You couldn't even flirt with him,” he says, the sentence somehow turning into a question.
“You didn't see the guy,” Charlie says with a frown.
“I thought you just said you don't go by looks so much,” Dean says.
“That's true, but initially there has to be some judging of a book by its cover,” Charlie says, throwing her hands up. “He was definitely totally male. The maleness was just radiating from him like a giant neon sign, and it's an instant turn-off for me.”
“Oh, well, that does make sense, because I'm not really attracted sexually to overly butch lesbians,” Dean says reasonably.
“There you go!” Charlie says with a grin. “The guys that I've been with –,” Charlie starts.
“Guys, plural?” Dean interrupts with a raised eyebrow.
She smacks his arm. “Yes, plural,” she says, faking annoyance. “The guys plural that I've been with have had that same something about them that attracts me to them. One guy was bisexual, and while he really didn't have gender issues about himself, his entire personality and way of life, well, I just meshed well with him. We dated for a while, but it didn't work out, so we went our separate ways.”
“And when you say you were with him...,” Dean prompts.
“I don't have any video or pictures,” Charlie teases him with a really disappointed look and a sympathetic shrug.
“Dork,” Dean says as he chuckles.
“Another guy that I went out with for a while couldn't decide if he wanted to be called he or she,” Charlie says, and Dean notices that Charlie doesn't seem like that idea was odd or an inconvenience, rather she says it like she's telling Dean the weather. “Remmy was just Remmy. He had gotten breast implants a few years before we started dating, which I had fun with,” Charlie says with a lascivious grin, “but he was completely on board with keeping his dick and balls. He dressed in women's clothes sometimes and men's clothes other times. He liked to say he dressed to fit his mood.”
“That's actually refreshingly awesome sounding. Cool that he was that comfortable with himself and you let him do what he felt like doing,” Dean says, feeling chills run down his spine. A big part of him is jealous of Remmy, but another part wonders just how much he would have been like Remmy even if he had thought it would have been acceptable.
“It would've been really selfish of me to try and keep him from doing what he felt like doing,” Charlie says. “The thought never occurred to me. Remmy was one of the happiest people I've ever met, and I hope he never lets anybody make him feel like he can't be who he wants to be.”
Dean's eyes burn again, but he blinks away the emotion. What's done is done, and even though he let others dictate how he should live before, Charlie and Sam being so great about all this was opening up so many new options to Dean, and he was very grateful.
“I've been with a few more guys than that, but I just thought you might like to hear how much I don't have a problem with you or what you want out of life,” Charlie says with a little smile that makes her eyes look so very warm and welcoming, drawing Dean in.
Dean winces. “After seeing how well you've taken this, and after seeing how well Sam's doing with it after that first knee jerk reaction and misunderstanding, I think I'm probably going to be the one that has more difficulty with this.”
Charlie grabs both sides of Dean's neck with her hands, pulls him in for a quick but firm kiss, then pulls back to look him in the eye. “Sam and I have talked about it,” Charlie says.
Just as Dean tenses, he sees the look in Charlie's eyes, one that tells him she knows he's upset they talked about him when he wasn't there, but to just hear her out, calm down, so he does, nodding at her, and she gives him a little smile when she feels him relax.
“Sam loves you so much,” Charlie starts.
Dean feels his breath catch in his chest. Not that he didn't know his brother loves him, but the conviction Charlie has when she says it takes Dean's breath away, like Sam's love for him was so significant and noteworthy that Charlie was moved.
“He wants you to be happy. That's all he's ever wanted when he hasn't had his head up his own ass, which admittedly has been fairly often,” Charlie says with a chuckle.
Dean snorts. Yeah, that sounds like something Sam would say, and it's completely true. Dean has always loved Sam, even when he knew Sam had his head up his ass, and even when it hurt to love Sam.
“He's a little hurt that you didn't say something to him over the years, especially given how close you guys are,” Charlie says.
When Dean opens his mouth to speak, Charlie puts a finger over his lips. He huffs, but he doesn't speak, so she takes her finger away.
“He knows it's a big thing,” Charlie says, “and he knows that your dad probably wasn't the type to handle it well. But I think you should talk it out with Sam because he's got it in his head that he gave off anti-tolerance vibes over the years or said things that made you think you couldn't tell him about something so significant in your life. I told him I wasn't sure because I didn't grow up with you guys. Take time if you need it to think about it, but I really think you should talk with him about it.”
Dean nods. “I will. And thanks for talking to him.”
Charlie smiles. “You should totally thank me, and you should definitely show me your appreciation in fun and interesting ways,” Charlie says with an eyebrow waggle.
Dean chuckles. “I can so do that,” he says as he laces his fingers through Charlie's, holding her hand.
“I'm sure Sam will tell you in more detail, but he's more open to things like this than I think you knew,” Charlie says.
“I know Sam well enough that I have no problem believing you,” Dean says, “but I was purposely blind about it because I was too scared he'd not be okay with it.”
“He understands that you'd be scared. Just talk to him,” Charlie says again.
“Yes, ma'am,” Dean says.
“Mmm, “ma'am.” I think I like that,” Charlie says with a shiver.
Dean feels his dick twitch again at Charlie's reaction. Now that he knows Charlie's okay with all of this and is on board, Dean doesn't have to hide how he feels about her. It feels great to be able to flush with arousal and not worry she's going to be offended or upset.
“And as far as me,” she says with a grin as she grabs him by the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to her, their noses inches apart. “I want to do lots of fun stuff with you.”
“Mmm,” Dean moans as his eyes fall closed.
“I get the feeling you like a sexually aggressive woman, even though from what I gather, your previous long-ish-term girlfriends weren't all that aggressive,” Charlie says, then licks his lips.
Dean gasps at the tease of her tongue. “You heard that from Sam, right? The thing about the girls I liked being submissive and pushovers?” then leans in to kiss Charlie.
Charlie pulls back suddenly, leaving Dean questing after her lips. “Sam's wrong?” she asks with a grin.
Dean whines at the missed opportunity to kiss Charlie, then leans in anyway and kisses the side of her mouth. “Sam saw both Cassie and Lisa in situations where they were scared for their lives and their families. Neither of them backed down or ran away from those situations, but Sam saw them at their least confident.”
Charlie grins. “I see,” she drawls. “That works perfectly with all my evil plans for what I intend to do to you,” Charlie says, then lets out an evil overlord laugh that both impresses Dean and makes him laugh along with her.
Dean ducks his head, then looks up at Charlie. “I can get aggressive, and I like making my partner very happy in bed, but yeah, I like a woman who knows what she wants and takes it.”
Charlie dives down and kisses Dean with a fierceness that makes him groan into the kiss. She wraps one hand around the back of his neck, the other around his back as she climbs into his lap and opens his mouth with her tongue.
Dean's hands flutter at Charlie's sides for a moment before he wraps his arms around her. She starts grinding down on his crotch, her breasts rubbing against his chest as it feels like she's trying to get herself off on the friction through their clothes alone.
Charlie moves her right leg to be in between Dean's legs so that she's riding Dean's left upper thigh, then starts grinding down on him, getting herself in a position that must feel great by the way she sticks to that spot and works down hard on him. Dean's getting friction on his dick from how enthusiastically Charlie is grinding on him.
“This all right with you?” Charlie asks, voice breathless and scratchy in a way that makes Dean's whole body tighten in a delicious way.
“Yeah, fuck, yes,” Dean mumbles as he lets his head fall to Charlie's shoulder, licks her neck, then moans as he feels her shudder against him.
“I've been waiting so impatiently for you to catch a clue, Dee,” Charlie gasps, then scratches her nails over Dean's scalp.
The use of this new name Charlie has given him excites him. He could have it. It could be his name. Charlie uses it. Sam uses it, only having slipped a couple of times and called him Dean, then corrected himself without fanfare.
Dean wants it. He wants to be Dee. He wants to have awesome tits. He wants to have a pretty little pussy, but he wants to be what Charlie wants, wants this idea of being what he's hoped for so long, even if it's not complete, not physical.
He'll still be stuck with a dick, but he knows life isn't fair. He learned that long ago. But he can have this. He's happy for this. He's thrilled Charlie was the one to give this to him, that Sam was willing to give this to him.
And she's right here, right in his arms, grinding against him so sweetly it's taking his breath away. She's so lost in arousal that her eyes are falling closed seemingly against her will, because every time it appears she remembers, she opens her beautiful green eyes to watch Dean again. To watch Dee again.
Dean holds Charlie tighter, yanks her against him, and Charlie lets out a squeak. Dean's so hard it hurts, and he's so close to coming he's almost embarrassed.
“You gonna come in your pants for me, Dee?” Charlie whispers in his ear.
Charlie's voice is so sultry, so unbelievably wasted on arousal that Dean whimpers, shoves his face into the space between her neck and shoulder and comes so hard he grits his teeth and growls, “Charlie, fuck, Charlie!”
“Oh, my god, y-you, fuck, you really came in your pants,” Charlie nearly whines, straining against Dean, sounding so desperate, so fucking turned on and damn near mindless. “Dee!” Charlie yelps as she comes, jerking hard against Dean.
Dean holds her firmly, but not so tight as to stop her from moving however she wants to move. Just hard enough that every jerk and wave her body makes goes straight through him. As the waves wash through her, the grinding gets slower, but she's still moving, still using his body as she pants into his hair, nails gripping his shoulders, and Dean hopes they leave marks on his skin.
Charlie finally slows to a stop and drops her weight on Dean, totally spent and enjoying the afterglow. Dean happily holds her up, then realizes there's a mat beneath them, and he doesn't have to do all the work.
Charlie squeaks as Dean lets himself fall backward. She doesn't seem surprised, but more as if it's a squeak of “yes, that was a good idea,” and then she wriggles a little until she's comfortable sprawled all over Dean.
Charlie turns her head so that Dean can feel Charlie's breath ghosting over his right ear and neck. “I made you come in your jeans, Dee,” Charlie says in one of the sexiest afterglow voices Dean's ever heard, like she's completely pleased with herself for having had that effect on Dean.
“Yes, you did,” Dean says with a lazy chuckle.
“'Cuz I'm just that hot, huh?” she asks as she lets her fingers trail over his left nipple and chest.
Dean chuckles again at Charlie's adorableness. “Yes, you're just that hot. And you seemed to find me coming in my pants a turn on, so I'll try not to be embarrassed.”
“Hell, no, don't be embarrassed,” Charlie groans as she tweaks his nipple as if in punishment for ever having considered being embarrassed. “Are you embarrassed when a girl comes just from getting fingered before your tongue or anything else ever even touches her?”
“Mmm, no,” Dean admits, his eyes falling closed.
“So imagine how sexy I feel having made you get those pretty panties all dirty with your spunk,” she whispers in his ear.
“Oh, fuck,” Dean groans at the dirty talk. He hadn't forgotten he was wearing a pair of pink polka dot panties with a little pink bow at the front. It seems Charlie hadn't forgotten either.
“I plan on sharing many, many more orgasms with you,” Charlie mumbles as she snuggles into Dean as if she's going to fall asleep right here on the mat. “That all right with you?”
“I have no problem with that plan,” Dean says, caring less and less that he's lying on a mat and not in bed.
- - -
Next: Part 3
