mayalaen

Title: Glitter Dick
Pairing: Dean/Gabriel, Dean/Abaddon, Dean/Crowley, Dean/Castiel, Dean/Ruby
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: NC-17/Adult/Explicit
Word Count: 1.2k
Alternate Link: AO3

Full List of Kinks and/or Warnings:

crack, glitter, AU, fae/fairies, humor, sexual humor, handjob, blowjob, anal sex/fucking, public sex

Setting: AU

Summary: Bobby's on the case, but he really wasn't prepared for this one. He may never recover.

A/N: This is my entry for April's SPNColdestHits. NSFW art is included throughout this fic. All the pieces are screencaps from the show manipped by me and the GIF is from Giphy.

NSFW Art Under the Cut

Fairies weren't real. At least that's what Rufus had said years ago. Rufus was usually right. So when Bobby followed the trail of blushing and stammering victims, leading to a craft store smack in the middle of downtown Las Vegas, he was a little skeptical, to say the least.

"I can't get it off," the man said, staring down at his hands. He looked lost standing in the doorway of his apartment.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to help me with this," Bobby said.

"Oh, uhm, my name's Cas," the man said, wincing as he shook his hands, trying to get the glitter off.

"Cas," Bobby said, nodding. "My name's Bobby, and I'm here to help."

"I was working late last night," Cas said, wiping at his chin. It didn't do anything. The poor guy was covered in streaks of purple glitter. "I was tired and, quite frankly, horny. I stopped by the craft store to pick up supplies for my presentation tomorrow, and there was this man."

"Can you describe him?" Bobby asked.

"Really hot," Cas said, blinking at him. "Just really hot. Green eyes, lips that I just had to kiss, and I just couldn't resist."

"What happened next?" Bobby asked.

"He took me to the storage room in the back and gave me the best blowjob of my life," Cas said, the expression on his face a mix of bewildered and impressed. "It was so good that I wanted to return the favor, so I got down on my knees and opened his pants."

"Okay," Bobby said, not really all that interested in it, but willing to go along with it if it got him more info.

"It tasted so good," Cas said, dreamy look on his face. "It was too good. I've never tasted a dick like that before. It was like candy."

Bobby cleared his throat, counting to ten in his head. "Then what happened?"

"Well, it was the strangest thing," Cas said. "When he came, I pulled back so he could unload on my face, but instead of jizz, there was this poof of glitter that came out of his dick."

"Excuse me?" Bobby said, eyes wide.

"It sounds insane, I know," Cas said, frowning. "I'm telling you the truth. It was beautiful. Glitter everywhere."

"So the...," Bobby said, then gestured to the glitter all over the man.

"Yes, this is from him," Cas said, holding his arms out and spinning around so Bobby could see the glitter. "I've taken a shower, washed my hair and my clothes, but it won't come out."

Bobby nodded. "Okay, thank you for your help. I'll look into this."

The man seemed relieved, but Bobby wasn't sure what he could do for the man. Whatever had dumped the glitter on him had to be powerful if it was still there after the man had showered.

Bobby made his way to the craft store, stopping outside when he saw a woman sitting on the curb. "Ma'am, are you okay?"

The woman looked up at him and smiled, yellow and white glitter shining in her hair and on her face. "Best sex I've ever had," she breathed, then got up and walked away.

Bobby sighed. He had to go in the craft store, but he really didn't know what he would find. He hated glitter. Just as Bobby was about to walk inside, the door was flung open and a man stumbled out, covered in pink glitter.

"Are you okay?" Bobby asked.

There was glitter in his eyebrows, his hair, and even in his mustache. "Yeah! I'm better than okay! I'm awesome!"

The accent was thick, and even though Bobby had never met the man, he couldn't really imagine him ever acting giddy and excited.

Bobby watched the man stumble away, then turned and headed into the craft store. There was a man behind the counter who smiled at him.

"Hello," the man said, dimples making him appear younger than he probably was. "Can I help you?"

Bobby grunted. "You're not covered in glitter?"

The man's eyes widened. "Uhm, no. We don't have glitter here. You should go."

"Sam? Who's here?" someone said from the back of the store.

"Nobody!" Sam replied, then turned to Bobby and hissed, "Get out. Get out now!"

Bobby pulled out his hunting knife and turned toward the back of the store. "I'll take care of it," he said.

"No! Wait, he's my brother!" Sam said, hopping over the counter and grabbing Bobby by the arm.

"Your brother?" Bobby asked, scowling at Sam.

"He doesn't mean any harm," Sam said, wincing. "I swear to you it's consensual."

"What's consensual?" Bobby asked, not really sure what the fuck was going on.

"Look, I can tell you're a hunter," Sam said, sighing, "so I'm gonna just tell you the truth. My brother and I are fairies."

"Fuckin' Rufus," Bobby grumbled. "Fairies. Okay. So what's with the glitter?"

Sam chuckled nervously. "Well, I don't know if you've ever heard this before, but glitter isn't manufactured. It's produced by fairies. By us."

"Okay," Bobby drawled.

Sam blushed and ducked his head. "We, ah, when we come, it just kinda shoots out of us."

"You're kiddin' me," Bobby deadpanned.

"No, I'm not," Sam said. "It doesn't matter what gender we are, we just kinda explode when we come, and we discovered years ago that people liked to use it in their arts and crafts, so we started bottling the stuff."

"Call your brother out here," Bobby said, his head spinning with all the ridiculousness he'd just heard.

"Dean! Get out here," Sam yelled.

"Kinda busy, dude," Dean yelled back.

"C'mon," Bobby said, grabbing Sam's arm and heading for the back of the store. He really wasn't prepared for what he saw.

Dean was fucking a guy against the shelving units, both of them completely naked save the jock strap the smaller man was wearing, and just as Bobby and Sam walked up to them, Dean's whole body went stiff.

"Oh, fuck yeah!" Dean growled, pulling out and spraying glitter all over the smaller man's ass.

Bobby didn't move. Hunting knife in his left hand and Sam's arm in his right as he just stared at the scene in front of him.

"You want a turn?" Dean asked, then winked at Bobby.

The man Dean was fucking turned around, smirk on his face. "Damn good fuck. You really should try it."

"Gabe, this is a hunter," Sam hissed.

Gabe's eyes widened and he backed up, holding his hands out. "Whoa, whoa. We didn't do anything wrong!"

It was then that Bobby noticed the glitter all over the shelving unit and fluttering down from the tip of Gabe's still-erect cock. He politely ignored the glitter raining down over them.