I think they are taking things out on you. Honestly they are grown ups, if they are hungry because diner is at 6-7pm they can eat a snack at 3pm or maybe make dinner for the family instead? It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Also, it's your mom's job to stand up for herself too. You can support her as she learns to speak for herself but at a certain point in everyone's life they need to speak for themselves and be their own advocate.
If your mom feels like people are shutting her down she needs to speak back and say no, this is my communication style. Though honestly, if her communication style gives her a heart-attack she may need to reevaluate her communication style. But that's on her, you've done your best to let her know that her style may be impacting her health if she doesn't change, it sounds like doctor's have told her, and now it's up to her to change if she wants to or not.
As for your dad and mom saying you don't listen maybe bring that up as a topic with the therapist to address. It's possible the way you listen isn't the way your parents expect for a listener? Or your parents are losing track of the amount of time you are listening. If you're doing dishes while listening your parents may not think of that as "listening" time. A therapist may help you identify why there is this disconnect.
Not sure how the Covid vaccinations are going in your area but if you're close to getting vaccinated, letting your parents know the end is in sight may help them in the face of the care you're taking to prevent your family from catching Covid. Though now that the CDC has come out and said it's airborne you may not have to be vigilant about washing everything that's coming into the house. From what I read it sounds like wearing the mask is more important to not catch Covid.
You are a person, not a doormat. Don't be afraid to set your own boundaries and stand up for yourself. Parents are people too, they aren't always right.
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on 2021-05-17 10:04 pm (UTC)If your mom feels like people are shutting her down she needs to speak back and say no, this is my communication style. Though honestly, if her communication style gives her a heart-attack she may need to reevaluate her communication style. But that's on her, you've done your best to let her know that her style may be impacting her health if she doesn't change, it sounds like doctor's have told her, and now it's up to her to change if she wants to or not.
As for your dad and mom saying you don't listen maybe bring that up as a topic with the therapist to address. It's possible the way you listen isn't the way your parents expect for a listener? Or your parents are losing track of the amount of time you are listening. If you're doing dishes while listening your parents may not think of that as "listening" time. A therapist may help you identify why there is this disconnect.
Not sure how the Covid vaccinations are going in your area but if you're close to getting vaccinated, letting your parents know the end is in sight may help them in the face of the care you're taking to prevent your family from catching Covid. Though now that the CDC has come out and said it's airborne you may not have to be vigilant about washing everything that's coming into the house. From what I read it sounds like wearing the mask is more important to not catch Covid.
You are a person, not a doormat. Don't be afraid to set your own boundaries and stand up for yourself. Parents are people too, they aren't always right.