April 19, 2015
13. Sexual orientation? Are you “out” and to whom?
I'll write about my first crush in a few days, but suffice to say when most kids were running around yelling about cooties, I was crushing on guys and girls.
But only in the last few months have I come to the realization that I wasn't bisexual. And I have no idea why it's taken me so long to realize it, but I now realize I'm pansexual.
I was reading an article the other day about sexual orientation, and even though I'd read about pansexuality before (sexuality and human behavior have always interested me), I don't remember reading this particular part: Pansexuals don't care about gender itself. It's not "I like boys AND girls" but rather "I like who I like."
It blew my mind, I have to admit. Because I've said that for years, but the label of bisexual was just always what I used for myself. I don't give a shit what your genitals look like other than it's different things to have fun with when we're together. In fact, if someone was asexual but wanted to be with me and I liked them, I'd be fine with that. Transgender? Hermaphrodite? I just don't care. If I like you as a person, I like you.
Now that I look back, I remember finding it odd that the bisexuals on the forums I frequented didn't seem to want to watch porn with anything but cisgender males and females, and also that they'd get into "moods" where they felt more like being with a guy than a girl or vice versa. I should've known to look a little further into it back then, but I'm not a normal, in-the-box type of person, so I figured I was just more quirky than the others.
Anyway, I'm "out." And it wasn't super hard for me to come out because not only is my mother bisexual, but my family has always been supportive of one another whether they personally agree with things or not. So even though there are some members of my family who think homosexuality is wrong for religious reasons, they have no problem with me and don't give me or anyone else grief over it. They simply choose not to do it themselves and would rather it not exist.
I was still a little nervous to come out, but in the end my family had always assumed I wasn't simply straight anyway and saying it out loud didn't change anything. I have an awesome family.
It could've been much worse and I wish more families were like mine. Even though I'd rather the religious members of my family didn't feel it was wrong, I think it's awesome that they don't try to force their beliefs on others and they don't treat people like shit for believing something different.
Now if the rest of the world could snap out of it and view personal matters in this same way even if they don't personally like them, things would be better.
So to answer the original question, I'm an aromantic pansexual.
Tomorrow: 14. Can you read facial expressions?
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